Here We Go Again (Frustrated with My Marriage)

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So my current wife and I dated previously, split up, then got back together and eventually we got married about 6 months ago. She is outside the US and so we need to work on the paperwork. I have been dealing with terrible tenants (trying to blackmail me and threatened to have relatives harm me), so things have been a bit tight on my end, but I am working OT when offered and I am interviewing for jobs hat pay better. She bugs me every day about the paperwork, but until I can afford it, there is no sense working on it. If that was all it would be whatever.

But lately she has been super critical. I have not been exercising as much, as my mental energy is trying to keep me afloat and I have been trying to be positive, but she has been negative. I tell her I am excited about an interview (the company would pay for me to move),and her reply is has my current job fired me? She says I need to exercise, my sausage is small (I just got home from work and had a long day), complains my ex is pregnant and her bf bought her a Tesla and I spent more on her when we were together, etc. . Also I tried to share how I was feeling some days and she said I was weird. I just felt like the world felt very deterministic and like npcs. Yesterday I asked her opinion on what happened to the bully Ken McLeroy and she said that is a weird question. I just like to be philosophical. I also asked if she wanted a free audible book and she said this topic is boring. This has made me have second thoughts. She used to be into languages and learning but as time goes on (especially the second time we have been together) she seems to be more and more basic sorry to say.

Beyond the basic red flags, I have been trying to be more positive and this takes energy away from being a better me. I finally kicked the little voice that said you look like a sperg and most people think it too out of my head. Also I realized I am not too weird. I have a female coworker (who is taken) but we talks about invest, business, etc. .It is nice to know I am not the only one. Also a funny thing happened. I have noticed women being more friendly. In Detroit, in Dallas, in Miami, and a few other places. One woman on the plane seemed real friendly and she offered to watch my bag (but then I had to move seats). In Detroit there was a woman with a nice dress, but she seemed to be playing with her hair excessively and recontorting her body in line (swishing her hips from one side to another). I said nice dress, but left it at that. It just made me reconsider many thing in light of the criticism I have been getting.

Anyone else deal with an overly critical spouse?

My partner is critical of just about everything.

I know how demoralising and draining it can be to the point that, sometimes, I want to self harm.

I've had to reevaluate and think:

What is the motivation for their critcism?
Are they feeling trapped or powerless for example?
Are they a perfectionist?
Are they critical of everything, or just you?
Do their better qualities make up for their lesser ones?
Are they basically a kind person?

You are probably not the problem here.

The problem could be that your spouse has low self worth and doesn't know any other way to gain ground other than diminishing your own self worth and bringing it down to their level.

I've started challengimg my partner by pointing out how hippocritical most of their critism is.

Then we ghost each other for a day or two, then it's ok for a while.

Btw my partner is also autistic.

Fun times.

Oh yeah. Being married sucks. My girlfriend keeps asking to get married but I always refuse. I told her that we can't get married because if we need to seperate we would need to pay for divorce layers.

Sometimes I envy single people. There's this subreddit called r/malelivingspace where single guys show off their houses and apartments and it looks so cool! I can't really participate because I'm not single.

I hope I don't turn into one of those guys with a "man cave". To me, the man cave is the most unmanly thing in the world. It's what a man does when his wife tells him he's not allowed to keep any of his stuff in the house so he puts it into a shed.

I don't need a "man cave" because the house is already a space for me and my stuff. I won't be banished to a shed.

Because you are married your wife expects you to spend time on your relationship even though you are separated.
She expects you to work on those papers so that they will be ready the moment you can file them.

Men more than anything want peace in their marriages. Having a nagging wife sucks. I’ve been there.

I don't know if that's true. A lot of men I know seem to actively seek out women that create drama as they find it more exciting. I had one ex tell me he struggled dating me because I was too positive/calm and he would try to create arguments just to get that adrenalin 'kick' he needed. Other men acted interested but then rejected me for women that made it very clear they were after their money, constantly wanted to fight about everything, and were trying to hook up with other men. Again, they preferred the drama and emotional rollarcoaster of dating an Anfisa type 'trophy wife' as it was more of a challenge.

I think a lot of people seek out that type of arrangement. Whether or not it's a conscious decision is debatable. A lot of them complained about what their partner was doing all the time, and stated they wanted the total opposite traits in a partner. Yet they kept going back for more of the same. So clearly they enjoyed being treated that way on some level. Several men in my family/friends circle have wasted the last 20+ years dating and breaking up with women like this, despite having the option to date other women (one could date pretty much any woman he wanted, yet he keeps choosing psychos). So I think what men say they want and what they actually choose are very different things.