Is excessive arrogance an Aspie trait, or is it just me?
I can relate to this as I'm often accused of being patronising. I honestly don't mean to be but apparently I just come across that way!
They aren't.
Yeah people can often be worst online. Though in the case of aspies the reverse is likely often true to. Because online you have alot more time to reflect. So no telling with aspies a nice guy online might be an insane killer in real life and an online a$$hole might be a well like friendly person IRL.
Or they can missrepresent themselves, as Aspies tend to do in real life. It isn't surprising that we should do it on the internet too. I know I've missrepresented myself numerous times, a couple on here I think.
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"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." - Terry Bisson
No, that's just typical Aspie behaviour. My Teacher once told me "I know your better than everyone else in your class but you have to try to tolerate them", or something to that effect, but the problem wasn't that I was arrogant it was that they annoyed me, with the things they did, I think I told her that and she ended up telling me that people think I'm arrogant because I don't talk to them, or talk very little.
If you thought you were better than everyone else and "too good" for them, that would be arrogance.
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"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat." - Terry Bisson
Yep. I have to watch myself. When I was a little kid I was a notorious little know-it-all. My signature phrase was, "I know," even if I secretly had no clue what was going on. Now I watch it and keep myself in check. If I slip up I immediately recognize it and apologize for sounding like a pompous arse. I have a friend who has AS who is constantly arrogant and egotistical about everything. I just laugh it off and let it go - I understand it's a part of his AS but he doesn't, he's kind of in denial about things.
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Mew mew mew, mew mew mew mew? Mew. Mew mew mew mew, mew. Mew mew, mew. Mew!
I do this too... it's called being egocentric. I don't really think it's being arrogant, it's just about being extremely wrapped up in your own little world to the point where it's all you can talk about. I didn't notice this about myself until recently so I try to make an effort to ask other people questions and etc... only problem is that sometimes it feels forced and I don't like that.
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Mew mew mew, mew mew mew mew? Mew. Mew mew mew mew, mew. Mew mew, mew. Mew!
In my experiences, I tend to find that some aspies are very protective of their ego... perhaps this is the arrogance thing...
I also find that other aspies are very modest about their ego... some too modest... I don't know where I veer to more... I've had experiences when I've felt arrogant and I've had experiences when I've felt too humble...
It makes me hard to get... I feel more uncomfortable feeling humble though than when I feel arrogant (if it's arrogance... lol) analysing this is strange lol.
For me this is all brought out more, on both sides, with relationship stuff. However usually I'm just 'me' which is... I don't know what... lol
In these situations I've been taught to be tougher... although I refuse to go macho somewhat... although toughness I know all too well doesn't necesarilly mean macho. As someone pointed out, many male aspies are very manly but not macho. I understand that feeling.
lol sorry I'm babbling on some of what I said has perhaps little relevance. But it's just my experiences on things is all and what goes on inside my head from time to time.
But yes, main point being - I find a lot of aspies show an egotistical portrait of themselves and a lot show a humble portrait of themselves. And I'm not saying egotistical as a bad thing necesarilly... if it works, it works.
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Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
I also find that other aspies are very modest about their ego... some too modest... I don't know where I veer to more... I've had experiences when I've felt arrogant and I've had experiences when I've felt too humble...
~~~~
I often feel both espicially when it comes to work related or intelligence related issues. I can do anything work/problem related and I know this and I show everyone up and always have. That is what got me to where I am today. I was always a bit arrogant about my skills but when someone would try and praise me for something I simply want to hide and act like its no big deal. Maybe being humble is simply a way of not drawing attention to myself?
I also have to interject with anything related to me in social situations which people think I am self centered. Truth is that is the only thing I can relate to. It is all I can do to mantain a social conversation without losing everyone. But then, everyone thinks I am bragging or being self centered.
On a seperate note does everyone feel really nervous when they are about to post? I have edited this about 12 times now and feel like I am about to puke. I'm sweating, I'm nervous, BTW this is my second post. I always liked the number 2.
Someone once said, 'It's only arrogance if you're wrong.'
That was mine as well, in addition to the word 'obviously'. I was chided so often for using it 'arrogantly' that I have not used it once since childhood.
So, I have taken up 'evidently' and 'apparently', which are less certain, less declarative, thus seemingly causing less offence.
'Seemingly', as well, I see.
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'I don't know if that's an Asperger's thing or not, I think it's just being reasonable.' - Bram Cohen
well I dont know if I am that way or not but, i do things like, example:
once me and my gf got into an argument about mythology, and this was during the time where i slept, ate adn drak the stuff, about how atlast holds the world on his shoulder, and I tried, nicely, to tell her No, atlas is the titan that holds the sky, adn teh drawings of him carrying something round is a celestial sphere, which in turn got confused with being a globe, and she kept saying i was wrong adn why did I always have to argue about everything instead of litsening.
I let it go, found a print out that says just what I had been telling her, and gave it to her.
that make me egocentric?
I tend to believe that I am right and tend to just reply with "my mistake" when I am presented with solid evidence to teh contrary, though sometimes I do it to get away from talking because i am sick and tired of being called argumentative. makes me want to puke.
that make me egocentric?
Well, I don't know if it's egocentrism, but it sounds like you have a need to prove that you are right, something which most people aren't going to appreciate. You just need to learn to let things go sometimes, or it'll be off-putting to people
UncleBeer
Veteran
Joined: 18 Nov 2004
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 683
Location: temporarily trapped in Holland
The accusation of "arrogance" is commonly stuck on us by the NT world simply because of the symptoms of AS: we're confident in that incredible focus many of us posses in our special 'field of interest', we can be perceived as aloof, and we usually choose 'straight talk': word choices and sentence construction without 'social padding'. This, plus being right, aids the NT world in labeling us as arrogant.
It's not us, it's them.
It's not us, it's them.
Said so beuatifuly
I am arrigant too.
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