IsabellaLinton wrote:
Breach of trust has been a big theme in my trauma.
I'm 63. I wasn't clinically diagnosed with level I autism until I was 59.
My breach of trust began with my parents. Although my parents knew that I was different, they also told me that "respectable families" didn't take their kids to see a psychiatrist. Their solution was to beat the badness out of me. If I self stimmed or did anything that seemed out of the ordinary, my parents could give me one warning after which they would beat me.
In time I went to college and became an elementary teacher. After 8 years in Texas, I took a job at an international American school in Saudi Arabia where I earned twice what I had made in the United States. Since I didn't have to pay taxes after the first year, the presumption being that I would pay the host country income tax in Saudi Arabia (and the Saudis had no income tax), I did quite well financially.
After my best friend married, I arranged to spend Spring Break together. I rented her and her new husband a suite at the Riverside Marriot in San Antonio. I arranged for the concierge to deliver champagne and chocolate covered strawberries within 30 minutes of their arrival. I myself took a regular room at the same hotel. I paid for all expenses. Since I didn't know what they might need as a newly wed couple, I gave them a thousand dollars in cash.
The one thing I asked them to do was to air freight purchases of clothing, books, movies, and hobby items to Saudi Arabia. I left them cash to do this.
The only problem was an issue regarding a betrayal of trust. My "friend" never sent me my shipment. She claims she did and even gave me the number of the shipper. When I called the shipper, I found that no such shipment had ever been made. My friend had betrayed me and kept my possessions. When I called her to ask why, she hung up on me. A month later I got my shipment but I never talked to this person again.
I've had a handful of relationships throughout my life. All of these have ended badly. While they started out well enough and the women in question told me that they just wanted to be friends, I was happy for their friendships. The problem was that when they chose to change the nature of their friendships, they never articulated this change. They all tried to seduce me. Since I have a literal mindset and understood that we had a friendship agreement, I honored my word and remained friends only to find that the woman in question had been angered and never wanted to see me again.
All of these were yet more betrayals of trust. To my way of thinking, I had honored the friendship agreement. While I understood that agreements can change, my literal mindset was such that I did not accept body language as a valid input.
Most recently at work, I was a Culinary Arts teacher. Since I knew I was autistic, I filed my disability with the district to receive workplace accommodations. Included among these accommodations was the need for my building admin to support me in matters related to class management.
When the district adopted "social justice reform" and required teachers to talk to misbehaving students about why they were behaving badly, I should have continued to receive administrative support. I didn't.
After having learned through social media that I was autistic, a group of students conspired to drive me into a meltdown because they thought this would be amusing. They repeatedly touched me and wouldn't stop. They threw things at me. They flickered the lights on-off-on-off to create a strobing effect. When I tried to talk to them about their behavior, they laughed at me.
When I called parents, there was very little help to be had. One parent told me that it wasn't her job to help me with my class management. Another parent accused me of "bullying" their child.
When I asked admin for help, I was told to step up my class management or to quit.
I quit due to issues with more betrayal of trust.
I am now getting therapy for issues related to all of these betrayals of trust.
(sigh)
The end result for me is that each major betrayal of trust has left me more guarded and less sociable. By choice, I no longer have any friends. I keep to myself because I find comfort in solitude. The only problem with this is that I used to meet what little needs I had for social interaction through work. Now that I am no longer working, I am starting to have issues with agoraphobia.
That is another reason I am in therapy.
(double sigh)
11 Sep 2023, 10:14 pm
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
It was announced at another church that I had attended just once but knew a lot of people. 
