What are the reasons for being single long term?

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I seem to feel as though being in a relationship will lead to you developing a sense of fulfillment or contentment that you are no longer single and in a relationship with someone to share your life with. I know from other people telling me that being in a relationship isn't perfect as like you see in films but it's really hard to not feel that when you see a couple showing a lot of affection and hugging and kissing and holding hands etc.

I may have said before that at times I like having some me time but then if I end up in an environment where I see a lot of couples around me it makes feel there must be something "wrong" with me. I even feel bad because I seem to have this ridiculous feeling that because I'm single and over 30 it's "abnormal" to be long term single by that stage in life and that it isn't if you are under 30.

It can't be because of autism that I'm single, is it because I won't go to our to socialise in bars on a weekend, is it because I have days at home and not always going out when I'm off work, is it because of my mannerisms or looks (I'm 6 feet tall, still quite thin, quite long blonde hair) ? I enjoy talking to staff and customers at work but for so far I still haven't had much luck. There have been times where I've spoken to people who smile at me, wave goodbye to me, play with their hair whilst talking to me etc but I don't really know though if that's an indication they like me and are comfortable talking to me or not and that hasn't really ended up with me getting their phone numbers or emails to contact them to meet up.

Have you asked for their phone numbers and emails to meet up?

Well no not really probably I didn't feel it was the right place or the right time to just jump in and ask when I was only speaking to that person for a few moments when they are buying something or needing assistance in looking for something. I haven't asked because I'm worried about the social awkwardness. I seem to remember speaking to someone once whilst walking down to an event in town and this person commented me in a nice and friendly way about something I can't remember now, we talked for a bit and then when I asked for her number, she was like ''Eh... No'' and I went ''Okay sorry'' and she just walked on ahead of me and then I felt like I was the ''weirdo'' in that situation and felt bad.

YOUR reason is you don't try.

If you don't try frankly you have no business with the woe is me outlook.

Why don't you try and see how it works out.

I talked to my partner for about five minutes in a waiting room. He knew he only had a short window of time to give me his number before we went to our appointments, and we might not bump into each other again.

He took that chance and didn’t expect in a million years that I would text him. I didn’t think I would either, quite frankly, but after a couple of days I did. That was nearly four years ago.

I think the goal for you is to know when you’re getting the right signals or not. I wouldn’t advise asking every woman you chat with for their number regardless of how long you talk. Actually, I wouldn’t recommend asking for their number at all. Offer yours. That way, they have time to decide what to do with it instead of having to refuse your request on the spot.

^ Offering one's own number is a good idea, although that does make it more likely a woman won't reply. Sometimes shy women need a nudge to get things started in the dating arena. Although obviously there are boundaries where it is time to leave a person alone after trying & failing to communicate with someone in a way that may have lead to dating.

If he had asked for my number I'm certain I wouldn't have given it, even if I'd kind of wanted to. I would have felt rushed to decide and I would have chosen no. I don't think I'd give my number to anyone, actually. Even when we started dating I didn't tell him my last name or where I lived for a few months because of privacy concerns, and I have kids at home to protect.

Not everyone will react like that ^ by being worried about their safety, but I think a good number of women will. Deciding on the spot if you want to risk dealing with a psycho / stalker / weirdo, or lead someone on and then break their heart, is a lot harder imo than deciding if you want to stuff their number into your book bag and think about it later from a place of more control.

Yeah, in this day and age especially it is probably best to let the woman have the man's number in a given scenario. For safety reasons as you point out, if nothing else.

Why cant Autism be responsible?

There is one simple reason:

Not meeting enough people.

If you meet lots of people you are more likely to meet someone compatible. Especially if you are doing something you love and they love e.g. a hobby you both enjoy. You are both showing your best qualities if you're doing something you love.

Or I suppose if you're both doing a job you love, but that's probably 2nd place to a hobby because many people don't love their jobs.

Autism absolutely plays a role!! !

It makes it harder for us to find love because most neuro-typicals don't want to give us a chance!

Don't despair yet. I was 39 when I met my future wife. Prior to that, I had not so much as ever gone on a date. We were in a small group situation where we were the only singles. I was 40 when we married.

Most NT males are more than eager to give ND women a chance.
They see us as cute, quirky, and fallible.
That makes us a little less threatening than your average bear.

It also puts us at risk of exploitation.

^Oh definitely that happened with my ex. I thought he was wonderful but he was just a narcissist who wanted a devoted girlfriend to worship him.

Luckily I saw through him eventually.

I think that is true for ND females.

I am not confident that NT women often give ND males a chance at dating, however.

Simply meeting more people may not work. Various people I've talked to for advice about getting a relationship have told me that I should have a girlfriend very soon considering how much I was going out meeting others & using various dating sites at the time. This may come as a surprise to some here but I was trying very hard to put myself out there at one point. I was still single five years later & did not get a single date during that time. What worked for me was figuring out how to meet the type of person who would be willing to give me a chance & how I could better present myself to that rare person. I thought of things from kind of a business angle. I was the product, my potential partner was the customer, & I needed to figure out where & how to market myself to them. When it came to marketing myself I tried to figure out how I could benefit my potential partner, like what are my relationship strengths even if most others will not appreciate them & how could I show my potential partner that. I've had much better luck on online forums than offline or dating sites & such. The women I'm most comapible with & who were willing to give me a real chance were not likely to be offline unless they had to be like going to work/school & shopping & such things & they were not trying to meet a partner there.