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What are the reasons for being single long term?

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L2000
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06 Nov 2023, 3:32 pm

I love being single. Always have - I've never been on a date, never kissed anyone, etc. 26 years old.

It's just - I love being myself. Even in a great relationship, there's going to be times that you're going to do things you don't want to, but you do it for the relationship. Or you want to save money, but your SO wants to buy something, so you end up buying it.

Like, there's definitely advantages to it - companionship and all that. But I've weighed the pros and cons and personally, I just don't see it as being worth it usually.

If I meet someone who I'm on the same page with, then that's great, but that's probably pretty rare lol



blitzkrieg
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06 Nov 2023, 5:04 pm

L2000 wrote:
I love being single. Always have - I've never been on a date, never kissed anyone, etc. 26 years old.

It's just - I love being myself. Even in a great relationship, there's going to be times that you're going to do things you don't want to, but you do it for the relationship. Or you want to save money, but your SO wants to buy something, so you end up buying it.

Like, there's definitely advantages to it - companionship and all that. But I've weighed the pros and cons and personally, I just don't see it as being worth it usually.

If I meet someone who I'm on the same page with, then that's great, but that's probably pretty rare lol


I don't necessarily love being single, but I don't mind it and I am somewhat baffled by people who seem to ache for romantic company.



WantToHaveALife
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06 Nov 2023, 5:20 pm

a woman who has surpassed her mid-20s and has never had a boyfriend?



Mikurotoro92
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06 Nov 2023, 6:03 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
a woman who has surpassed her mid-20s and has never had a boyfriend?



That is not me

I may not be married (yet) but I have been in 3 prior romantic relationships before turning 20!

So I can at least say that with 100% confidence!


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WantToHaveALife
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09 Nov 2023, 6:03 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
a woman who has surpassed her mid-20s and has never had a boyfriend?



That is not me

I may not be married (yet) but I have been in 3 prior romantic relationships before turning 20!

So I can at least say that with 100% confidence!


was asking L2000, referring to her, its just most people expect cases like that to be male-dominated.



Esme
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10 Nov 2023, 12:52 pm

"Have you tried anti-depressants (SSRI's specifically) - they can be very good at reducing/killing sex drive for a lot of people who take them. It is usually an unwanted side effect, but could be perceived as a desirable side effect, also."

This! I started taking them a few years ago for a different reason, but realised they had this useful side effect. I doubt I'll find a partner now and I've never been into hookups, so I'll keep taking them indefinitely. If you have an above average sex drive but no outlet for it, they won't remove it entirely but will stop you climbing the walls!



Tim_Tex
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10 Nov 2023, 1:07 pm

Nobody with the same interests in my area.


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Tim_Tex
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10 Nov 2023, 1:09 pm

Esme wrote:
"Have you tried anti-depressants (SSRI's specifically) - they can be very good at reducing/killing sex drive for a lot of people who take them. It is usually an unwanted side effect, but could be perceived as a desirable side effect, also."

This! I started taking them a few years ago for a different reason, but realised they had this useful side effect. I doubt I'll find a partner now and I've never been into hookups, so I'll keep taking them indefinitely. If you have an above average sex drive but no outlet for it, they won't remove it entirely but will stop you climbing the walls!


I climb the walls constantly.


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blitzkrieg
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10 Nov 2023, 1:11 pm

Esme wrote:
"Have you tried anti-depressants (SSRI's specifically) - they can be very good at reducing/killing sex drive for a lot of people who take them. It is usually an unwanted side effect, but could be perceived as a desirable side effect, also."

This! I started taking them a few years ago for a different reason, but realised they had this useful side effect. I doubt I'll find a partner now and I've never been into hookups, so I'll keep taking them indefinitely. If you have an above average sex drive but no outlet for it, they won't remove it entirely but will stop you climbing the walls!


Yeah!

I find it helpful as someone who is single more often than not, to have these types of medications in my system.



Lorikeet
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10 Nov 2023, 7:15 pm

KitLily wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Most NT males are more than eager to give ND women a chance.
They see us as cute, quirky, and fallible.
That makes us a little less threatening than your average bear.

It also puts us at risk of exploitation.


^Oh definitely that happened with my ex. I thought he was wonderful but he was just a narcissist who wanted a devoted girlfriend to worship him.

Luckily I saw through him eventually.


My ex actually preys on vulnerable ND women (for romance) and men (for friendships). He needs to feel in control at all times and likes how vulnerable people make him feel like a god come to their rescue during the love bombing stage and then manipulates once he has them hero worshiping him. He also tends to prey on people much younger than him for the same reason, I’m talking 30 plus years younger. And to answer the original question, this man is the reason I am long term single and have zero interest in ever risking being in a relationship again.



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10 Nov 2023, 10:19 pm

and since i wasn't getting my sexual needs/wants met in my last relationship, confession, i ended up paying for sex a few times, saw a few escorts/sex workers.