Aspergers and trust issues - sexual exploitation

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 27 Sep 2023
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Posts: 1
Location: South Africa

27 Sep 2023, 5:10 pm

It's normal to seek a relationship. That special kind where you want to be loved unconditionally. You want to be held close and be told your beautiful and will be loved and protected forever...
...then the person you really started thinking was different also turns out to be using you...

Holding your hand becomes grabbing it! Touching you, you get the flashbacks of the last time a guy tried to sexually exploit you.

How do you reach out at the end of the day to make friends? How do you trust people if you have already been abused at a young age?

My father left us when I was 8 years old. Got diagnosed with Aspergers at 14. My mom fought she did me a favour by getting me a friend from overseas. Easy, what could go wrong? Everything! Having to cope with PTSD and an absolute fear of relationships!


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Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,114
Location: Hell

27 Sep 2023, 5:25 pm

I'm not sure. It's really hard and is still something that I'm working on.

It might be important to gradually build friendships so trust can be attained in a meaningful way. People who are in it for the long haul may be less likely to abuse you. Meeting new acquaintances in public places for a while until you get to know them can be helpful, too. Both of those things would've kept my previous abusive situations from happening, I think. My sexually abusive marriage was a "whirlwind romance." :roll: And my date rape happened in a private place.

“Tú, que me lees, ¿estás seguro de entender mi lenguaje?” - Jorge Luis Borges


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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,228
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

30 Oct 2023, 2:02 pm

Are you certain someone was trying to sexually exploit you vs. making moves towards sexual intimacy?

People who date one another tend to have an expectation that if there's mutual interest and attraction that the relationship will progress to the "next level," of sexual intimacy. It may have simply been that your date/friend was hoping to progress to that physical level with you, and you simply have anxiety and fear about sexual intimacy due to negative past experiences.

Just a thought.

No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 553
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

30 Oct 2023, 8:04 pm

This is why people are so concerned about me getting married!

They are afraid I could be taken advantage of for sex

But I WANT to experience sex, or at least intimacy

I miss it!

"You have never experienced true love but that doesn't mean you won't EVER find it!" -SpongeBob SquarePants