Why do guys make this assumption when a lady talks to them?

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Why do some guys think that a woman merely talking to them must mean that they "Fancy them"?

It can happen either way.

Perhaps it's related to wishful thinking or it could just be misreading someone (what they say and body language). Sometimes there are cultural differences, too. In the culture I was raised in, talking to a person of the opposite sex very often meant that the person was interested in him or her because friendships between the sexes were discouraged.

This woman talked to me last night and said "For Halloween you should dress up as Jimmy Saville"

Yes she should

Women often talk because they want to kill and awkward silence too. It happens often when I'm sitting close to a woman but not far away enough to ignore each other but this is also true with men. It's terrible because it means I have to talk to people.

This lady last night talked to me in the smoking area and I noticed her pupils were dilated which can mean attraction.

She might be monged off her face on drugs. Drugs usually do that.

^ Yeah.

Dilated pupils can mean lots of things like drugs, alcohol, or a trip to an optometrist earlier in the day. Maybe her pupils are just naturally bigger.

You should have told her to piss off.

I block and report people on message boards and chat rooms for saying that.

Ohhhh. Him dressing up as Jimmy Saville

I didn't know guys felt that way.

I don't think I know very much at all about what men think or even what women think.

I've never seemed to act like either group, whether NT or ND.

I think it's safe to say that she doesn't fancy you then Jamesy. You need to stay away from these dickheads. Seriously. I'd rather have no friends at all than spend my time with people who are more than happy to disrespect me in that way.

Calling me a pedophile basically

The women who made the remark was 30 by the way

It seems common for guys in general to have problems understanding when women are flirting or not. It can be extremely difficult for me & even NT guys to tell the difference between a woman just being very friendly & nice vs flirting. I tended to assume that women were just being nice & friendly & not flirting unless they were being extremely obvious thou I did try asking out a bit of women who were nice & friendly towards me in the hopes that they would be willing to give me a chance. Nothing ventured nothing gained as they say thou me making the 1st move never worked for me.

You can call someone a pedo at any age.

I actually don't think these people actually believe that you are a pedo or else you wouldn't be able to walk into that particular pub. I just think they're malicious people. You can do better than to associate with them Jamesy.

^^ Some of my girlfriends had the same problem, and it certainly led to disappointment.

I’ve struggled with it, too, but I think some of it was related to cultural differences. In my culture, flirting was not acceptable, except if it was expressing genuine, serious interest in someone who you might want to marry. I didn’t understand that people often flirt because it’s fun, not because there’s genuine interest. I also didn’t understand that people could be interested in someone sexually but not romantically.

People will be quick to say that me and my experience are weird, but everyone’s experience is valid whether a certain subset of the population struggles more with it or not. It’s hard to measure and, ultimately, it doesn’t matter because it affects all genders.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Oct 2023, 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.