You have have me mistaken for someone else

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Most recently, I posted in social skills and making friends about boundaries. Here is a updated version

One of those people happened to be a casual friend who happened to be one of those people. The story is posted in the other thread. I decided that pursuing this friendship was not worth it. First of all, I was not at the top of her list but she started jerking me around. Second, she couldn't seem to respect me as a person.

When I last texted her, she could not bring herself to apologize. Instead she seemed to manipulate me. When there was an apology, it was, "I'm sorry you're offended." However, I managed to disarm her assertively but she said, "

"You must have the wrong person, stop texting me."

At that point, I cut it off and blocked her. Still, I am sad because she seemed like a nice person in the beginning.

You're well rid. It's a sad thing to have happened to you though.

Some people don't deserve to have friends.

I am very sad about it because we had some fun conversations. The biggest issues is that she started controlling me and poking her nose in my business. She also couldn't seem to see past the autism and treated me like a lesser of a person. Then when I put my foot down, she seemed to have the need to be right.

For instance, I read from the Torah last weekend and when I walked by her she tried to hug me. "You looked like an angel up there." However, she really didn't seem to take much interest in me.

Yes it is very sad.

When I was at school I had a friend and we had been best friends for about 3 years. We knew each other really well. Anyway she kind of matured earlier than me and started kind of bullying me. It all ended up in a huge physical fight in the end and I had to survive so I hurt her in front of her new friends who she was trying to impress. I was literally a case of survival for me. Anyway I never saw her again. She had to leave our school because she couldn't hold her head up high in front of these people again.

What I'm saying is that I missed her so much. I couldn't hate her because we had spent so much time with each other and I suppose I loved her. I know your situation is not like mine but I think I do know that you are missing your friend because of the good times you had.

I've been there too, I'm sorry you went through that. I've had fun friends who seemed to like me and we had good times, then suddenly one day 'something' changed and they started treating me badly and/or dumped me instantly.

It's like grief- there was this lovely person who changed/disappeared, it's like they died.

First of all, I wasn't really that close to this woman but I was just started to get to know her. I also wouldn't say that she dumped me. Rather, she just seemed to stop making time for me during lunch time. Instead it was, "I want to catch up with you but.." and then shut me out of her conversations. Despite that, she was never a very supportive person. On a few different occasions, I tried to reach out to her but she was always," Busy."

E.G.
I tried to invite her to my birthday but she made excuses about not RSVPing. "I am sorry I haven't responded to your birthday but I have had too much going on in my life." Whatever!

Anyway, when she tried to hug me and tell me that I looked like an angel, I pushed her off. When she first approached me, she made the birthday excuse. When I said, "Oh ok," she goes, "Why are you so mad at me?" I tried to explain that she was was not respecting my boundaries and she said, "Oh whatever" and walked away.

Again, she has not bothered to apologize for the way that I have been treated.

She sounds like someone who didn't contribute much to your life and won't be much of a loss to you, frankly. Also she sounds very changeable and unpredictable, which isn't a safe person IMO.

I don't want to judge her too much for this because I', the bit of a cry baby myself. Based on our interactions, she's definitely manipulative. She started crying a few times in class about how she was abused as a child and got everyone distracted from the lessons. This is a woman in her 70's.

As for us connecting, we were just acquaintances who were getting to know each other. She has other friends at the synagogue who she does things with on a regular basis.

Anyway, I talked to a few friends about how the way she talked to me in the text messages. All of them agree that she wasn't being very nice. One of my friends thought that her comment about "Me mistaking her for something else and that she hardly talks to me," was pretty bad.

As I said, she doesn't sound a safe or nice sort of friend for you. I hope you can move on from her and find better friends. It's her loss, frankly.

I don't think I have any problem with that as I think the best thing I can do is just avoid her.

As far as her being an unsafe person goes, she does seem to have some narcissistic traits that seem covert. For example, though she's involved in the dance team, she doesn't really seem like she enjoys it. From what I understand, covert narcs are never really satisfied with anything. In their mind, everything they do are beneath them.

It might just be the way she is. I know that doesn't excuse her behaviour towards you or anyone else but she might not have a personality disorder as such.

I am not saying that she may have an NPD, rather, she seems to have traits that look narcissistic. Either way, she definitely has issues.

thanks to this discussion I realised that my mother is a Grandiose Narcissist (not covert). It means she has a very unrealistic view of the world, expects everything to go her way 24/7, expects everyone to be positive and do everything she wants 24/7 and steamrollers everyone into going along with her because it's just easier. If things don't go her way, she huffs, has a tantrum and picks holes in things and people because they aren't perfect.

Sorry to go off at a tangent but it's thanks to you that I realised this, Summer Twilight.

Thanks for sharing.

The woman who I cut things off with is not grandiose. In fact, I saw her last night. Though I avoided and ignored her, I caught glimpses of her. From what I observed, she never seems to smile. She also seems like she’s out of it .