I keep remembering when my dad had a mini stroke and at the time he must of have been 48 and I think the year previously I had stopped smoking which he had been doing for since his teens probably, I think sometimes he does get stressed sometimes more than me and a year before he and his girlfriend broke off their relationship. I also don't know if it was the divorce that was a contributing factor. I do also also know that my nan, my dad's mum has diabetes as well but I don't think my dad is diabetic though. I seem to feel as though what happened to dad was something to be "expected" to happen by that age he was even though I never thought it was an age for a stroke to happen and that most people in their 60s, 70s, 80s etc are more likely to have a stroke than someone at 48.
I keep being reminded time and again by myself, my mum and others that I'm still quite thin, do a lot of walking to and fro from work, never smoked, don't have diabetes so what have I got to worry about? I've got to do a 50 minute walk tomorrow to see my therapist on the other side of the river where I live. There is always a part of my brain that wants there to a certainty that something won't happen to me by a certain age when I know it's something we can never know. The last time I walked to my therapist, I explained to her why I was worried I thought that doing a lot of walking like that would give me a heart attack when see explained the reasons why it's actually good for your heart and exercise makes you feel good. But those worries won't 100% go away.
11 Oct 2023, 2:51 pm
