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Dondi
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Joined: 28 Aug 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Quebec

16 Oct 2023, 9:06 pm

Hi,
I’m really struggling with making friends. I never know if I’m good with them or not, meaning, I never know that everything is okay unless I’m getting some obvious positive feedback. I need constant reassurance, which isn’t really okay to ask for ask ALL the time.

Does anyone else experience this?

It’s nerve-wracking. I need to find some way to know, otherwise I’m always fearing that I’ve messed up until I see some positive reassurance.

Any suggestions?



Twiglet
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 24 Sep 2023
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Posts: 72

20 Oct 2023, 2:32 am

What sort of positive feedback do you hope for?

Do they never give it without you asking for it?



funeralxempire
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20 Oct 2023, 3:13 am

Dondi wrote:
Hi,
I’m really struggling with making friends. I never know if I’m good with them or not, meaning, I never know that everything is okay unless I’m getting some obvious positive feedback. I need constant reassurance, which isn’t really okay to ask for ask ALL the time.

Does anyone else experience this?

It’s nerve-wracking. I need to find some way to know, otherwise I’m always fearing that I’ve messed up until I see some positive reassurance.

Any suggestions?


I don't really have any suggestions other than trying to learn to cope with it.

I feel that way a lot and it can be really stressful.


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Jakki
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20 Oct 2023, 4:31 am

You gotta break a few eggs anyhow,,,to make a omellette. :nerdy:


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Basiliscus amoratus
Butterfly
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Joined: 25 Oct 2023
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29 Oct 2023, 1:21 am

Just keep interacting with them! If you think you've messed up somewhere, you can remediate it by talking it out. You will gradually build up a tolerance to this anxiety over time.



jamie0.0
Deinonychus
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Joined: 29 Sep 2023
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 359
Location: melbourne, australia

29 Oct 2023, 1:54 am

I experience this all the time.
It's really hard to commincate with people when I don't know when I say the wrong thing.
Online communication is just as nerve wracking, just stewing in my anxieties untill someone replies, it takes away the body language aspect which is nice, but either way I find that communication is a difficult Area.
One thing I find helps is the adage "nothing ventured nothing gained" by comming outside of my shell, I've managed to make a handful of really good friends. Sure, I've managed to peeve quite a few people along the way unknowingly, but going from 0 friends to a handful of them, is a net positive. It's almost like taking a gamble when deciding to reach out to people. You may not always win, but when you do, the reward is satisfactory.