A friendly reminder to be careful who you open up to

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To start off, I was sitting by myself at my place feeling bored and unfulfilled, so I decided to take a trip to the big bad city looking for some fun and excitement as well as explore around by myself, figuring out my life and ask myself questions such as: Who am I? What am I going to do in this life? Where am I going? kind of questions . So I arrive, I find a parking spot, I get out and walk around, I stumble across this vibrant bar with music playing that you can hear from the outside and stop to take a look at the place.

Now one would think that a place crowded with a tone of people with music blasting at uncomfortable volume levels would be enough to intimidate most people with issues that I have away and nope on out of there. However, I had this feeling inside of me where I felt unsatisfied with where I was in life and that I needed some adventure. So I decided to take a ride into the Danger Zone and explore the bar.

While at this bar
I decide to observe the place and try to adapt a "When in Rome, Do as the Romans Do" mindset. While sipping away, I am asked by someone if it's aright if I sit next to me to which I say: "Yeah that's totally fine". I decide to start a conversation and be friendly by asking them questions such as: "How long have you been coming here? Things are going well until I ask "Have you been here before". He answers yes, and I admit that it's my first time.

Oops! I guess that was a mistake, especially coming by yourself without any friends, because this person gives off hints in body language form of "That is totally uncool!". They said they will be back with some drinks to which they never did. Now thankfully I wasn't expecting to make any friends or potential dates that night so I really didn't care and decided to continue on exploring the place.

After a while, I decided that I had seen enough of the place to get an idea of the social attitude and leave. I later walked around the city, and while deep in my thoughts of observing and pondering, I remembered why I have trust issues with most people While it is true in some ways that getting out there and exploring is good for you, remember that there are those who will try to take advantage of you and won't except you for who you are.


TL;DR: Got bored one late night, decided to venture out into the city in my state and explore around by myself and do some soul searching. Got reminded that there are people who are fake out there. Watch yourselves out there.

I don’t know if that person was fake per day. It sounds like they just lost their interest in the conversation.

Yeah that could be it as well. Maybe it was just exploring around certain parts of the city afterwards that I started to get bad vibes and began thinking of the local area as a dog eat dog world even though that isn't true from past experiences at other places at different towns and cities. Maybe I'll return at some point once I have the time and do more research.

Who did all the questions?

Me for the most part. I'll admit I was getting kind of tipsy.

Sometimes asking lots of questions can be a turn off for people. I also don’t think you said anything bad about being your first time. It just don’t think they were interested in continuing the conversation any further.

Sorry to be negative but I’ve learnt ( by extensive experience) to trust or open up to nobody ! !
( with the exception of possibly one of your best friends or partner or close family member)

Unless there was more going on in that situation, simply admitting to a stranger that you have never been in that bar before is a lot to build your assumptions on. While I don't doubt your reading of this particular person's body language, there are lots of reason's that someone just isn't in to you.

People go to bars to drink, dance, or find a hook up. and in a crowded bar there is a lot of competition. I wouldn't take a single snub so seriously in future. That person, that bar or even just that night, was just not the right set of circumstances - it doesn't automatically mean you did anything wrong by taking a shot at meeting someone.

Maybe they were looking for some company who had company with them, and because you were on your own they didn't bother with entertaining you?

They may just have not liked your voice, or some non-verbal cues you may not have been aware of.

You just don't know & I wouldn't dwell on it.

As an autistic person, how certain are you of your ability to “read body language?”

People will engage in continued conversation with a new person if they make a connection over something shared (friends, interests, hometown or state, schools etc.). Your job as a conversationalist is to find that connection. If you don’t and you are starting from ground zero, it is going to be hard to click unless you are mutually attracted to one another.

Trust your intuition, sixth-sense, and gut feelings if you don't know people beyond a "first name" basis, AND/OR if other persons only know you on a "first name basis."

When in doubt, don't!

I make it a point not to trust just anyone. I did that in college and that didn't turn out too well.