Straight Male / Female Sexuality And Cultural Dynamics

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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 24,087
Location: 28th Path of Tzaddi

23 Oct 2023, 12:22 pm

I'm now a little less than a month away from my 44th birthday and I'm starting to inventory some of the lines of thinking I've had about my own sexuality that, IMHO, may have not only been mistaken but were deeply so. I'm thinking about these things as well in the context of the rather pathetic 'culture war' that's been heightening over the past decade (the male vs. female stuff) and just how strange it's been.

This could just be me but I'm guessing if it's this arbitrary it probably isn't.

It's having the realization hit, not that I was too stupid to understand the concept when I was younger but I had too much cultural messaging pushing me in other directions, that male sex-drive and a male in the context of a conscious, self-aware social / civic agent in the world with hopes and dreams - to leave the world better than he found it or whatever other aspirations - these are almost entirely different units dealing with completely different levels of reality, and they're connected by a spinal chord. No religious belief system made that, no political movement made that, no education program made that, three billion years of evolution made it and our modern sensibilities are a blip on the map that barely registers. We might be narcissistic enough to believe that what's happening right now is the only important thing, life perhaps has always been narcissistic / solipsistic as a means of competition and survival, but it has no further relationship to the realities of human biology other than short-term fitness payouts and whose got the best social-climbing grifts for immediate success in their particular generation.

When I talk about two different wills I'm also not talking brain vs. junk, rather I'm talking about brain vs. base of the spine (whatever neural plexus is down toward your lumbar or get referred to as the 'muladhara chakra' in Hindu philosophy) as that piece is much more central. Heck, it's the part of our biology that can still function just fine even someone ends up quadriplegic from a broken spine or like Steven Hawking someone has ALS - the plumbing and arousal circuitry still works because it doesn't rely on the brain. It is it's own separate biological will. You can maybe condition agreements with it on some level but, for survival purposes as I understand it, it's not human and it's separated by and large from the tampering of human psychology because it's fundamental purpose is to keep tapping you on the shoulder and remind you that you haven't had sex lately (or more so if you haven't had kids). It exists for the continuation of the species, not for our convenience / inconvenience. Not everything that's warm and wet is psychologically fungible, it can be managed in pro-social ways but if you try to destroy it for some kind of moral transcendence you'll realize that you're literally damaging yourself.

From what I can see from the women's side of the culture war and the charges being levied on them - it just looks like the same symmetries playing themselves out, ie. who they are as people vs. the ways their own biology is twisting their arms. The idea that men are mostly morally degenerate perverts or that women are mostly perfect status-seeking mercenaries that only date from the finish line of the economic and prestige race - you sort of need to not understand any of what I said above, whether by sincere ignorance or artificial ignorance for power games, to take any of that as willful malice or a sign that the opposite sex is morally 'evil'.

The biggest cultural blunders that I think are really screwing our cultural sense-making to the wall and have been for decades now:

- Blank-slatism - it's not even pseudoscience, it's a quaint wish on reality that reality can't provide for and in this case the right answer is to force it down people's throats, yet somehow the stupidity of it pervades our culture and has had all kinds of purchase for most of (perhaps all of) my lifetime. When I see a pairing of something that's just factually wrong on it's face gaining all kinds of purchase AND being a weapon people can use to castigate anything that doesn't line up with it's narrow edicts - it's not even a wrong idea, it's a weapon guarded with plausible deniability, it's 'luxury belief' in the context that it's part of a deliberate zero-sum game based on pure BS.

- Market as economics, religion, and reason for being - While I think the psychosis of social media has some of it's own game theory elements (such as the way teen girls can be bullied by other teen girls 24/7 whereas before that was impossible) the broader context for most of it is what social media simply sped up and amplified which is 'race to the bottom of the brainstem' advertising, media, news stories, pretty much anything that hacks our machinery, leaves us worse off, but leaves better off whoever deployed the advertisement, media, or news story that triggered - again that wonderful 'one up one' predation dynamic scaling to 'one up many down'.

On one hand I think we have to be extra compassionate toward ourselves being on the spectrum - any thing that's different is wrong = bad = dysgenic, sexuality is a gene pageant (this is part of why personality, integrity, and values are the most useless throw-way part of a person when it comes to this sphere - at least when sex has been divorced from any civic responsibility), and that will hang over most of our heads until we're off this planet. At the same time it's equally important to remember that we're drinking from an absolutely polluted information commons. Not just polluted - it's like drinking Flint Michigan leaded water or sewage from a firehose. I'd swear it's as if it's meant to do as much damage to us (both AS and NT) as possible, less any sort of government conspiracy and likely more the realization of humans that human life is literally worthless, that you can do whatever you want to other people within the lines of the law, therefore why not do whatever you want to other people if it turns into money.

I think when we look back at our current cultural situation from far enough in the future we're going to observe that it was that strange time where we somehow had a belief that Adam Smith's 'invisible hand' solved most problems, that unlimited market liberalism is just fine, and furthermore we had additional trouble identifying that there was any real, significant problem because our minds were too addled by various funhouse mirror distortions of blank-slatism where you couldn't say anything about largely unwavering dynamics in straight male and female populations and work with those contexts because that's 'biological essentialism' and if you believe in such things you're likely a Nazi. I won't apologize for that view though - blank-slatism and total market liberalism are poison, especially combined with nothing in the way of restraining Gemeinschaft factors like family or religion (something I think Patrick Deneen, John Gray, and all kinds of other people have nailed to the wall about the ironic fallout of the Reagan / Thatcher revolution).

I'm posting these thoughts here because, while the malware has a lot of ways of protecting itself, if I can pass this on to anyone who hasn't realized these things yet or anyone who feels like they're getting absolutely accosted by BS to where it's draining their well to live, I figured I'd want to give them a dose of sanity (or reminder that they're not insane) on the topic.

“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.” - James Baldwin