I Don't Think I'll Ever Stop Being Miserable

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She wasn't the one then. Pretty much ~everyone gets rejected, has to deal with/accept/process rejection on their path to eventually clicking with someone. It's similar for other things in life, too.. like applying for 892 jobs before you get hired at one, or having sales conversations with 48 different people before Someone bites and buys the product or service you're selling. It's especially difficult for that First job or sale, or first one in a long time etc.. but along the way to achieving any of those objectives people do have to cope with a lot of rejection/no's/failure etc before something good comes of their efforts. It's all just a part of life.

More specific to the dating/relationship part - people have much greater success attracting a partner by making themselves more attractive vs. learning to be an ever better salesman/pickup artist. It might seem counter to your goals to focus on something else besides finding a gf, but really truly, if you focus on Yourself, your health, fitness, happiness etc then other things will come easier as you'll be giving off chill happy guy vibes vs. frustrated not happy guy vibes. So, have a little fun, get a little exercise, eat some healthy food, drink water, do Your things that make You smile and it'll make these other goals much more realistically attainable. A bit of a back door hack sort of strategy vs. barrelling straight towards what you want, but it'll get you there better IMO. How long? How much time & effort and energy any patience? Who knows.. but does it really matter if you're truly doing things that you enjoy that make you happy that make you present in the moment and really truly realizing that it's about the journey, not the destination? Won't matter nearly as much how long it takes if you're happy throughout the process. That should be the focus and the goal, IMO.. as even though it seems like you're aiming in the wrong direction, it's more likely to get you where you want to go.

Dealing with rejection isn't so much the problem as finding myself back in the position of having no potential love interests and no opportunities. I'd have no problem shrugging the rejection off and moving straight onto someone else if there was someone else.


I see what you're saying in a vacuum but you've got to account for the state I'm in. I am severely depressed because I have no girlfriend or female companionship of that kind. I have no motivation to do pretty anything that won't change that and doesn't provide an immediate pay-off.

The fact of the matter is I simply can't cope with the way things are right now. Everyday I'm struggling to not completely lose my mind. I know myself well enough to know that I am nowhere near emotionally stable enough at this point to be successful at any self-improvement endeavours. I'm taking mental health days off work left, right and centre because I'm struggling with intense negative emotions and suicidal thoughts.

I dont see how I can get the kind of female companionship I need while I'm in this state, and I need it urgently.

Cart/horse, order of operations and all that.

Like my example of being closer to your end goal via an indirect route, same same applies to your situation. You'll be closer to your goal sooner by Not directly trying to achieve your goal immediately w/ an immediate pay off (almost no pursuits of any kind have instant gratification.. everything takes time & effort to learn/do/build up etc.) and instead focusing Mainly on yourself and your mental health and general well being.

~11-12 years ago I was in a state of autistic Hell complete with crippling anxiety, depression, intrusive suicidal thoughts and the whole nine yards. Now that stat is a distant memory and instead I only have minor ups and downs by comparison - the kind that sometimes lose me jobs vs. unbearable depression. Sucks to lose jobs but I'll take it over losing my mind and potentially my life.

The thing that changed was Me because I figured out how to and then put my time and energy into it via diet/natural medicines/supplements etc & then exercise and so on. Health is wealth.. and being actually healthy results in being actually happy - or at least happieR vs. horribly depressed.

Like that old Elenor Roosevelt quote goes.. "Never give up on a goal because the time is going to pass anyways." So, may as well be working towards something worth while - like general health and happiness.

For what it's worth, I'm sending you a hug TGI.

Having a period of time without a close female in your life, can be tough.

You shouldn't pin all of your hopes on a relationship though to cure all of your emotonal inner turmoil.

As hard as it may seem, you need to find a way to survive independently and to be comfortable in being emotionally independent. That will likely make you more attractive to a partner in the first place.

Please hang in there .. Sometimes it can, seem sometimes? ( maybe often)? that people accord their self worth with
their relationships with others , but in all reality that is just not SO .... Societal programming can be very injurious to
many peoples self worth, and seperating that from ones own reality , can be extremely hard .. but please do not be a victim of this crappy programming .. As an individual , you may affect many others in some way ,at levels a person cannot imagine... It just goes on and on,, they even tried to base a movie on the concept of 6 degrees of separation.
From all other humans .. It is important that anyone person carry themselves in such a regard as to not have thise issues . Affect your mentality. Any person , I have found cannot imagine how there actions affect, invalidate or validate others actions for bad or good .Am very sorry to know that you are going through this type of crisis experience.
Saying to be strong,to so eone , cannot convey the various situations you may effect in your own extended future.
Might be eidhing you good luck , but that seriously understates the issues at stake . When anyone decides to self terminate . It has taken me over 50 years. by previous marriage to know , my own worth. And I am still going on ! btw.. have often enjoyed reading your opinions on here many times.. It would be a Great loss to lose your input here!