Feel like it's all coming back to me again

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It was only yesterday that I went to my Grandad's funeral, there were moments when I wanted to shed tears but I couldn't even when I touched the coffin it was hard, even though I nearly did but my sister, my stepbrother and other grandchildren around me cried. I also had never seen my Nan cry before. It's only now that I am writing this that I am feeling quite emotional. I am finding hard to just think about Grandad without getting upset. I'm worried I'll always feel that way every time I think about him and the upset will never go away. Even though he was 84, I still feel as though it was too soon and I seem to wish he had still been around for maybe another 10 years.

I didn't cry at my wife's death, nor while making arrangements, nor during the funeral. Several weeks later it hit me like a semi truck.