Can't conceive of serial monogamy

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Serial (life-long) monogamy happens.  So does serial adultery -- having only one sex partner at a time, but many sex partners over time.

There was a joke going around a few years ago, and I forget who started it . . .

"People who are concerned about same-sex marriage should consider the fact that after a few years, sex is always the same, no matter whom you marry!"

Just thought I'd toss that in here.

Whether 2 partners in a relationship remain friends after, or just have amicable relations that don't reach the level of actual friendship, depends entirely on the nature of the relationship and how it ended.

I'm still friends with most of my 'attempted exes' and actual exes. Admittedly, none of them involved years of cohabitation, much less marriage or kids. Also, I'm demisexual, which means just about all my attempt relationships are layered on top of strong friendships. There are two exes I'm not friends with anymore. One slowly went crazy after we broke up (for reasons unrelated to the breakup; she's got something undiagnosed I'm sure). The other lives on the opposite side of the country and, after we broke up, I was unhappy with the direction they were taking their life so I quietly unfriended her on Facebook.

I absolutely still love one of my exes and remain very good friends with them. In fact, in almost a decade literally the only arguments we've ever had are about her unwillingness to date me, despite our extremely strong connection. However, I accept that she's never going to date me again. I have an attempted relationship with someone else that seems soon to reach fruition. If it does, I have no doubts or qualms about remaining faithful to my new partner, no matter what my old flame might do.

I don't think monogamy means only loving one person at a time and no one else, just that you are completely faithful to your current significant other and forsake any romantic relations with everyone else. No cheating or wishing you could cheat.

FWIW the internet defines "serial monogamy" as someone who is perpetually in a relationship. They're not cheating (always starting your next relationship before ending your current relationship would be serial adultery), but rather they find someone new very quickly after a breakup. I can't imagine doing that myself because it would be too emotionally exhausting. I don't have the emotional energy to pursue multiple women at once and any form of relationship failure (getting turned down by a prospective partner, lousy first date with a prospective partner, relationship breakup) leaves me emotionally drained.

An open relationship is unthinkable for me; it has no appeal and I don't have the emotional energy if it did.

I find it hard to imagine a poly relationship. Certainly not searching for a third person to bring into an existing relationship; at that point what I would actually be looking for is a reason to end my current relationship. Maybe some kind of extraordinary scenario involving both of us becoming very emotionally close to a mutual friend over time.

"Serial Monogamy" does seem to be a varied experience. I suppose it fits my quite limited relationship experience, mostly, but with some caveats.

I think I've been much more fortunate than many, in that none of my relationships have dissolved into full-on acrimony. I am still in touch with all of my exes, and with some, to a fairly deep degree of emotional connection. Even the women that I never ended up meeting in person are, in most cases, still in touch to varying degrees.

I can't even imagine what it's like to completely cut off all mental ties to an ex, unless, as some here have said, there was a high degree of trauma endured during the relationship. Certainly, there have been LONG periods with little or no contact with my exes, but they were never "gone" from my thoughts, and I would often encounter something in my life that made me wish I could talk to one of them about it, given that I knew it would be of interest to her.

I'm at a point now where I'm back in semi-regular contact with most of them, and this feels "good", though I harbor no illusions about any of them really wanting me back in their lives to any great extent.

There were two relationships that were to some degree "open", but in both cases, I did not fully exploit this "freedom" that we had mutually arranged. I have no doubt that I am inherently Poly, but in a VERY limited way that I don't really understand, given that the extent of my experience in this realm was to have some overlap in the emotional connection to my 3rd and 4th girlfriends, but NOT in being "with" them both, as I did not meet #4 in person until some months after #3 and I split. Both were aware of each other's existence, and #3 was (at the time) full-on Poly, and #4 had only had one long-ago, brief experience with this idea, and was not really on board with Polyamory. So, a few weeks after #4 and I met, and we moved past "friends" to whatever it was that we were for the next 13+ years, she called her then sort-of-boyfriend to break up with him before she'd move on to a higher level with me.

Our culture still has a LONG way to go to make legal and moral room for the countless ways in which humans can connect with each other, emotionally and physically. I can only say that anyone who harbors some suspicions about themselves being out of the "typical" range of expected relationship desires should be VERY open about their thoughts and experiences with any potential new partner. In my ONE recent experience of "getting close" to a new relationship, we agreed VERY early on to fully share our full relationship history, on first meeting. I know this is a very taboo idea to most people, but it made perfect sense to me (and her, I think?). But we skipped right past many of the usual prerequisite conversations that would (and should!) occur, to our mutual detriment, so such openness should be tempered with practical discussions, too!