Inviting yourself?

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My friend told me that they have invited themselves to their in-laws for Christmas.
By in-laws they mean the parents of their child's partner.
I said I would never invite myself somewhere because that is kind of imposing on people.
They got a bit defensive at that so I said I was just telling how it was for me.
Do you think it's odd to just invite yourself to things?
I like to be invited by the person who's actually hosting the gathering, call me crazy and old-fashioned if you wish.

I think it's completely bonkers to just assume you can decide that you will go to someone's house and expect to be served dinner or even just expect to spend a chunk of time there without having been invited. I would never do it and I think it's wrong.

But there could be nuance involved. If it's a very close relationship it could be assumed that the other person will think it's fine for you to do it because they will always be glad to see you and they would welcome you without a second thought.

Sometimes if it's family it's a given and you don't need a formal invitation.

But yeah, I totally agree with you.

yeah it is absolutely bonkers.

I never impose my company on anyone. I need to be asked, more than once if you actually want me to show up.

I've kind of had that happen to me. I had a friend who was living at my house for a while and she invited her sister and mother to come over. She didn't ask me or tell me but it was fine. Until I found out they were expecting me to serve them dinner. I didn't really have anything on hand so I heated up some frozen vegetarian chili. They weren't rude about it or anything but they were surprised at how long it took to be ready.

I'd hate anyone just dropping on me unannounced. They wouldn't get past my front door.

I'd shoo them away with a broom

I'd jump out the nearest window.

sounds like something I would have done about 25 years ago. If I jumped out of a window these days it'd probably take me three months to recover

^ yeah, will my place has floor level windows on a ground level foundation so that may have sounded more dramatic than it actually is.