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old_comedywriter
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28 Nov 2023, 2:48 pm

Does anyone else have a problem with nosy people always in your business? Or is it our perception that they are nosy when they are just showing interest/being polite?

Example: The relative or co-worker who is always in your face asking questions like "How was your birthday/Christmas/Thanksgiving/holiday? Did you get any presents? Did you get anything nice?" or "Ooooh, you're having a cheeseburger from Burgermeistertownland for lunch. Is it good?"

I find this seriously annoying. Is it just me, or is it Asperger's???


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lostonearth35
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28 Nov 2023, 4:46 pm

Small talk. It's so annoying. Like when I buy something and then the cashier gets nosy and asks about what I'm buying. Or makes comments that I find annoying. One time I was buying kitty litter that said "for people with more than one cat" on the bag, and the cashier goes, "Holy god, how many cats do you have!?!" I only had two. Two is definitely more than one cat, but you'd think I was a crazy cat lady with 20 of them the way she reacted.

How many cats do you have to own before you become a crazy cat lady, anyway? Would three make me a somewhat sane cat lady? But I digress.



nick007
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28 Nov 2023, 5:12 pm

I don't think of small talk as being nosy. I'm not good at small talk chitchat but I try a little when I'm supposed to. I worked retail for about 28 months doing custodial stuff while the stores were open & I was quiet & focused on my work but I did talk a little. I never had any complaints thou some coworkers joked about me being quiet. I guess I'm used to NTs making small talk even if I don't really care about it.


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Last edited by nick007 on 28 Nov 2023, 7:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

bee33
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28 Nov 2023, 5:24 pm

Generic questions like "How was your holiday?" or "Is your burger good?" are not nosy, because they are not prying for details about you that you might not want to divulge. They are just pleasant (or unpleasant, if you don't like it) banter. Given that you can just answer "It was fine" and it would be a perfectly acceptable answer, it's not nosy.

Asking about someone's life in an unintrusive way like that is actually showing interest and is pretty much the only way to interact.

Nosy questions would be something like "Did you argue with your mother at Thanksgiving?" or "Is that burger going to make you feel bloated?" because they are asking things that are too personal and are none of their business.



CockneyRebel
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29 Nov 2023, 9:39 am

I hate small talk. It's an idle waste of time and I have better things to do with my time.


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jamie0.0
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29 Nov 2023, 10:43 pm

I enjoy these questions, but I may be alone in this.

I enjoy it because it makes conversations easier, while I may not have the best conversational skills, I can certainly answer a question such as "did you have a nice Christmas?" Small talk is a lot easier to engage in, especially with someone I don't know much about.



DanielW
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29 Nov 2023, 10:50 pm

Its just you...not understanding or wishing to engage in "Small Talk" (a lot of people on the spetrum have a hard time with or just don't like it.)



IsabellaLinton
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29 Nov 2023, 11:11 pm

My mother is one of those people. It's a non-stop barrage of questions not only about myself, but about other people. She should have been employed as a police interrogator. It's even worse that I'm mute or monosyllabic when responding. I've been known to just grunt, shrug, inhale while rolling my eyes, or say "I don't know" to every single question, yet she persists.

How is your daughter?
Is she still working?
What does she want for Christmas?
What does she think about _____ ?
Does she like ______ (type of food) ?
Has she ever had _______ (restaurant)?
What would she order there?
How much would it cost her?
Does she finish it all or have leftovers?
When was her last haircut?
Have you walked the dog?
Did you know dogs need water?
(We once told her we gave him petrol to drink because we didn't know)
Have you seen _______ vet TV show?
Did you know your dog is likely going to die because _________?
Did you change the batteries in your smoke alarms?
When?
What brand of batteries do you use?
Where do you buy them?
How much do they cost?
What do you do all day?
Why do your strokes affect you, if mine didn't affect me?
What did your doctor say about your strokes?
Are they going to do something to fix them?
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
What are you making for tea?
Do you eat vegetables?



IsabellaLinton
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29 Nov 2023, 11:17 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Small talk. It's so annoying. Like when I buy something and then the cashier gets nosy and asks about what I'm buying. Or makes comments that I find annoying. One time I was buying kitty litter that said "for people with more than one cat" on the bag, and the cashier goes, "Holy god, how many cats do you have!?!" I only had two. Two is definitely more than one cat, but you'd think I was a crazy cat lady with 20 of them the way she reacted.

How many cats do you have to own before you become a crazy cat lady, anyway? Would three make me a somewhat sane cat lady? But I digress.



omg I hate when cashiers or reception chat people up, whether it's the person in front of me or if it's actually me.

Funny but a few weeks ago I bought cat food and the lady chatted me up and for some reason it didn't bother me which was nothing short of a miracle. She showed me pictures of her cats on her phone and told me the name of her vet. I think she was likely autistic and infodumping too lol, so I just rolled with it.

I have five cats and I do consider myself at least a little cray.

I think the cutoff is three.



CockneyRebel
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29 Nov 2023, 11:29 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
My mother is one of those people. It's a non-stop barrage of questions not only about myself, but about other people. She should have been employed as a police interrogator. It's even worse that I'm mute or monosyllabic when responding. I've been known to just grunt, shrug, inhale while rolling my eyes, or say "I don't know" to every single question, yet she persists.

How is your daughter?
Is she still working?
What does she want for Christmas?
What does she think about _____ ?
Does she like ______ (type of food) ?
Has she ever had _______ (restaurant)?
What would she order there?
How much would it cost her?
Does she finish it all or have leftovers?
When was her last haircut?
Have you walked the dog?
Did you know dogs need water?
(We once told her we gave him petrol to drink because we didn't know)
Have you seen _______ vet TV show?
Did you know your dog is likely going to die because _________?
Did you change the batteries in your smoke alarms?
When?
What brand of batteries do you use?
Where do you buy them?
How much do they cost?
What do you do all day?
Why do your strokes affect you, if mine didn't affect me?
What did your doctor say about your strokes?
Are they going to do something to fix them?
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
What are you making for tea?
Do you eat vegetables?


I can't stand the 20 questions approach.


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Nov 2023, 11:32 pm

I should count sometime, but I'd say in a one hour visit there are probably 250-300 questions.
I'm not exaggerating.



nick007
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30 Nov 2023, 1:13 pm

jamie0.0 wrote:
I enjoy these questions, but I may be alone in this.

I enjoy it because it makes conversations easier, while I may not have the best conversational skills, I can certainly answer a question such as "did you have a nice Christmas?" Small talk is a lot easier to engage in, especially with someone I don't know much about.
My concversation skills are so bad that getting me to engage in small talk is like pulling teeth. I tend to answer the questions directly in just a couple words or one sentance & don't elaborate or say much else except Thank You or Your Welcome unless the person asks me more questions. I do a bit better if I'm a little familiar with the person or when I was working retail since I was kinda supposed to. As a kid when me & my parents went to family gatherings mom would give me a lecture about how I need to be polite & respond when people try talking to me; & then on the way back home mom would gripe to me about how I was rude & talked too much, & gave out too much personal type info. My general philosophy in life is that if I'm d@mmed if I do & d@mmed if I don't I'll take the easiest approach. In this situation it's easier to talk very little. I do a bit better with deeper more personal conversations like chatting with friends.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Dec 2023, 11:36 am

Here are my personal favourites:

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Do you have sex?
Do you wear pull-ups?
Oh, really? When I tell people I have a British last name.
Do you do drugs?
Do you shower?
Where are you really from?
Are you R-tded?
Are you slow?
Are you Austrian?
Are you German?

I take the last two questions as compliments.


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