The straw that broke the camel's back

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I've no idea what 4th base is, sorry. I know it's some American thing?

Urban Dictionary - Sexual bases defined

Thanks Cornflake!

Sounds like it's a good thing you didn't get to 4th base, Summer Twilight!

I had a boyfriend who wanted an open relationship. It turned out that what he meant was: it was okay for him to see other people but he wanted me to be loyal to him. Very one-sided. When I started seeing other people, he didn't like it and got jealous. I said 'well you wanted an open relationship? What's the problem?' He didn't like that. So that relationship ended very quickly!

I wonder if your ex boyfriend was thinking the same: he would be free to do what he wanted but you should remain loyal to him?

@Kitlily:

I don't know if he expected me to be loyal to him. Other than being attracted to another close friend of mine, he never talked about seeing other people.

As for the friends-with-benefits part, he was more into foot fetishes and cared about worshipping mine than being with me. He also would send pictures of feet and other X-rated things without my permission.


In the meantime, he had no concept of boundaries because he would touch my thermostat without asking me. He also didn't seem to take "No" for an answer.

Oh god that annoys me with people messing with my thermostat! Leave it alone, people.

I wonder what he meant by an open relationship if he didn't want to see other people?

But anyway, sounds like you're well rid of him

We dated off and on for two years but we worked those two times out. However, it was clear that he was bored with the relationship and so I cut it off.

Regarding the thermostat, that was not the only where he has issues with boundaries. He would do things that I didn't want to do. He was also quite controlling to where I could not do or say certain things. Actually, he did appear to have some narcissistic traits that seemed to be covert.

Yes, it was definitely a good decision by you to move on

Sounds like he was just kinda leading you on, reminds me a bit of the first guy I dated when I was in college...or was lead on to think he was dating me. I guess he never said he was my boyfriend, but he was acting like it very initially....but after like the first few times we met he'd only want to hang out for a while to do sex stuff, and whenever I texted to see if he wanted to like see a movie or just go out somewhere. He always had a lame excuse why he couldn't.

At the time though I really wanted a boyfriend and I was into him, so even when he had me walk to his apartment in the snow(I figured I'd be staying overnight at his place) and we had sex and he sent me on my way even later at night to walk in now very deep snow back to my dorm I still persisted in putting in effort to see him. It didn't all really dawn on me till communication got less frequent till the point he just sorta ghosted me. I certainly felt stupid for spending so much time thinking about him and such when he didn't even care about me.

I don't want to derail at all with my life story, but yeah better to move on sooner then keep putting energy into a person that doesn't reciprocate. So I think you made the right choice breaking it off.

For me, the time gap got wider and wider when we would get together. However, he kept texting me but they were whenever he would send me unsolicited pictures.

As for me asking him if he wanted to go out or go to a party together, he always ignored the questions.

When it came to coming to celebrate my birthday lunch, running errands with his mom was more important.

You are well rid of the idiot IMO. You deserve better.

Well yeah because he made it clear that I wasn't a priority in his life.

For instance, he lived near the pool and clubhouse and there were times where I would be in that area. There were times where he would get the mail or take out the trash. Though I would grab his attention, he would barely acknowledge me.