Is socialising a learned thing

Post Reply New Topic

I think not.

But some people go from 0 social skills to having friends and relationships. How do they succeed to do that

Social skills are very much learned skills.

People go from poor social skills to effective social skills because they learn and practice them.

Sure it is.

But the specifics can range from the culture's contexts and relationship dynamics to attention regulation and articulation.



There's practice, exposure, and familiarity.

And then there's figuring it out -- that one or several factors that's been influencing your way of interacting and performing.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I interact very well with people of high intelligence. Engineers in particular because they often have trouble finding people to talk to who understand them. I get them, so they want to talk to me. It can be very frustrating for someone with a sophisticated educational background to talk to someone who doesn't know much.

If you get out of the way any mental problems such as anxiety, or at least manage those issues, then socialising can be easier, but as an autistic person you should expose yourself to social situations often to maintain and retain existing social skills (what little that you may have).

In a way, it's a lot like physics, you can pass the test by doing the questions, but understanding it is another thing
I guess

We as autistic people lack a lot of "innate" understanding of social stuff. But it can be learned.

It helps if you can find people with similar interests to yours.
There are folks that met here and one partner moved to be together!
If you are on disability that can be easier than moving from a hard to find job that matches your skills and needs.

Normal people spend years in school learning to interact with others.
Folk learn clues by watching. One can tell from body language when someone doesn't know the answer when called upon.

Some elements of socialising are learned either through observation or experience.
But, I've also witnessed at first hand an introvert trying to socialise, while they try their best, it's apparent that it's not in their nature.

Some people function better in their own company while others might function better around other people

If an introvert wants to make friends, they can definitely learn and apply social skills to make it happen, but they may feel warn out quickly.

Good luck !

I had to look socialising up:
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dic ... ocializing
the activity of spending time when you are not working with friends or with other people in order to enjoy yourself

Sounds simple enough. Just hanging around with people you like, and as long as you don't cause trouble then the job's more or less done. I like the part about "in order to enjoy yourself." Clearly if you worry too much about socialising "properly," you won't have much fun. It's usually the worry that puts a damper on my enjoyment of being with people.

So, it should be easy. I think apart from undue anxiety there can be another big problem - some social groups concoct a ton of complicated and unlikely rules that can be very hard to learn. Some groups aren't looking for new members, and it shows. I just stick to the ones I can cope with, the ones that aren't too much trouble.