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IsabellaLinton
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10 Dec 2023, 4:26 pm

Admire actual women (and men) who you know, if they deserve to be admired.
The same is true of influential figures in history.

Admiring people you haven't even met doesn't make sense to me.
Grouping people using their gender as a common denominator is even more strange.


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RedDeathFlower13
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10 Dec 2023, 4:38 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Admire actual women (and men) who you know, if they deserve to be admired.
The same is true of influential figures in history.

Admiring people you haven't even met doesn't make sense to me.
Grouping people using their gender as a common denominator is even more strange.


I think I understand now. The same could be said for fictional characters, or those old Gods and Goddesses I seem to obsess over. Plus if I can be real with myself for just a moment... the Goddesses of Antiquity were all pretty negative cookie-cutter stereotypes of women that were created in old civilizations that didnt exactly respect women.

They're not exactly great rolemodels because they're not 'real' people.

You're right Isabella, real people who do great things are much more worthy of admiration. I really hope I'll stick to realizing that. Thank you. :heart:


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colliegrace
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10 Dec 2023, 7:01 pm

I love and admire dogs as a generality and not necessarily on an individual basis. I don't see how that's super different from admiring a whole gender. The only difference, I suppose, is that dogs won't care if I admire them, whereas a human being might.


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IsabellaLinton
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10 Dec 2023, 7:06 pm

Do you admire all dogs, or just one gender?
I admire Broadway singers in general, and some specific men or women who sing in live theatre.
Admiration is fine.
Most of us have special interests whether it's dogs, singers, historical goddesses, etc.

I just don't understand admiring "all women" or "all men", esp. when they're all different.


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funeralxempire
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10 Dec 2023, 7:26 pm

RedDeathFlower13 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
If you're familiar with the metaphor of putting people up on a pedestal, philogyny seems to be a form of that based on demographic traits.

Generally speaking, when one places people up on a pedestal, they dehumanize them to an extent, even if it's not intended and entirely driven by admiration. Everyone's flawed. No one deserves a pedestal and it's not a fair position to be put into, for the person or people it's being done to.

Besides, if you put women up on a pedestal perverts will try to look up their skirts. :nerdy:


Well... what if I work on appreciating women's struggles throughout time without putting them on a pedastal? :)

Because honestly I think there is a lot to admire about women who have worked hard to get where they are today in our society. I mean if you went back in time just a couple of hundred years women were basically thought of as merely property. I really do respect the fact that women have struggled so hard for their rights and to gain recognition for their contributions to society.

But that said I don't have to become someone who is distrustful of men... I should seek out the positive things men have done for society too and think about the problems that men often face. And realize that men are also only human.

I think it hasnt helped my perception that my mom has admitted to me several times that she hates men. That's just being honest.


There's a lot of women who have demonstrated all sorts of admirable traits through different struggles they've faced, but when you think about it, that's true of people in general and isn't limited to women.

Most people who remain forgotten by history dealt with the burden of being mostly powerless within their society, and most of them showed positive traits while doing so, even if many of them probably had moments where they might have failed or deserved condemnation too. Peoples who are marginalized in some way or another face additional burdens, but that doesn't make their struggles inherently more deserving of focus or celebration.

We mostly only remember people who had power, and mostly for what they did with it.

It's possible that for some people, when someone wants to focus on the (universal) traits demonstrated by one individual subset of people, it causes some other people to inherently cringe/feel squicky. Think of the weeb stereotype for a different example of that same reaction.

If one idolizes a group of people or their narratives, struggles, etc in the sorta way weeaboos idolize Japan, that's placing that group on a pedestal (among things). Once one ascribes an innate superiority or inferiority to a demographic, that's when it becomes a negative.


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IsabellaLinton
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10 Dec 2023, 7:32 pm

:heart: ^


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RedDeathFlower13
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10 Dec 2023, 7:45 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
RedDeathFlower13 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
If you're familiar with the metaphor of putting people up on a pedestal, philogyny seems to be a form of that based on demographic traits.

Generally speaking, when one places people up on a pedestal, they dehumanize them to an extent, even if it's not intended and entirely driven by admiration. Everyone's flawed. No one deserves a pedestal and it's not a fair position to be put into, for the person or people it's being done to.

Besides, if you put women up on a pedestal perverts will try to look up their skirts. :nerdy:


Well... what if I work on appreciating women's struggles throughout time without putting them on a pedastal? :)

Because honestly I think there is a lot to admire about women who have worked hard to get where they are today in our society. I mean if you went back in time just a couple of hundred years women were basically thought of as merely property. I really do respect the fact that women have struggled so hard for their rights and to gain recognition for their contributions to society.

But that said I don't have to become someone who is distrustful of men... I should seek out the positive things men have done for society too and think about the problems that men often face. And realize that men are also only human.

I think it hasnt helped my perception that my mom has admitted to me several times that she hates men. That's just being honest.


There's a lot of women who have demonstrated all sorts of admirable traits through different struggles they've faced, but when you think about it, that's true of people in general and isn't limited to women.

Most people who remain forgotten by history dealt with the burden of being mostly powerless within their society, and most of them showed positive traits while doing so, even if many of them probably had moments where they might have failed or deserved condemnation too. Peoples who are marginalized in some way or another face additional burdens, but that doesn't make their struggles inherently more deserving of focus or celebration.

We mostly only remember people who had power, and mostly for what they did with it.

It's possible that for some people, when someone wants to focus on the (universal) traits demonstrated by one individual subset of people, it causes some other people to inherently cringe/feel squicky. Think of the weeb stereotype for a different example of that same reaction.

If one idolizes a group of people or their narratives, struggles, etc in the sorta way weeaboos idolize Japan, that's placing that group on a pedestal (among things). Once one ascribes an innate superiority or inferiority to a demographic, that's when it becomes a negative.


Yeah... weebs really are annoying and insulting. So I get that.


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funeralxempire
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10 Dec 2023, 7:54 pm

RedDeathFlower13 wrote:
Yeah... weebs really are annoying and insulting. So I get that.


I try to keep that as a rule of thumb in my back pocket. Don't be an -aboo for anything.


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RedDeathFlower13
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11 Dec 2023, 10:09 am

funeralxempire wrote:
RedDeathFlower13 wrote:
Yeah... weebs really are annoying and insulting. So I get that.


I try to keep that as a rule of thumb in my back pocket. Don't be an -aboo for anything.


I almost became a weeaboo back in the early 2000's because my late friend was really obsessed with Japanese video games and anime. He was a great friend to me and I miss him dearly, but as I got older I realized not only did I not care much for anime but I got really appalled by the way weebs were always bashing anything and everything having to do with the US. Or the way they thought of Japan as this perfect Utopia and how every weeb wanted to move there and become an "English Teacher".

I guess maybe I border on that mindset too but at least I can appreciate Japanese culture but accept that Japan isnt a Utopia and that there are real problems in their society just like anywhere else in the world.

Now that I think about it, it's kind of weird how the moment I matured and left otaku culture behind because of all the America-bashing weebs I find myself in an age now where it feels like almost everybody on the internet bashes my country thanks to the political climate we are currently in.

Go figure. :P


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