What Is the Most Ableist Thing Someone Has Said to You?

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A few months ago, I was going to a church conference thing that lasted all week. I was told "Just forget you have meltdowns. Try to have fun."

I had a great time, but I had two meltdowns. One while I was in Accommodations (where I shouldn't have had one) and one while I was surrounded by EVERYONE. There were hundreds of other kids.

So, just telling an autistic person to forget they have meltdowns won't stop them from having them. It's out of their control.

I hear a lot of ableist BS about PTSD in particular -


Just forget about it
Just ignore it
Don't let it bother you
Get over it
Let it go
Picture yourself somewhere peaceful
It can't hurt you anymore


Regarding ASD, a former friend said I could stop being autistic if I went to Gestalt therapy.

To beat Agoraphobia I'm supposed to go outside because apparently it will cheer me up.

They tell me to go out in the sun for Vitamin D despite my photophobia.

Most of the time I'm incredulous at any and all advice I'm given.

I'm sorry to hear that. ^

As a child I was terrified of time and old people, ultimately because of death.

I'm reclusive. That's how I deal. I have an avoidant personality style. I have social anxiety and panic disorder in addition to Ago. My Ago isn't entirely social though. A lot of it is sensory and trauma-based. My inner-self is 13 years old at best, so I try to be good to her. I consider her my inner-adolescent since I don't really have an inner-child.

The only ableist voice I hear in my head is my mother, my exh, and a lot of courtroom judges.

"There are a lot of things that other people can do that you will never be able to do and part of it is because you have a learning disability." said to me by my own dad.

Idk, probably "that girl needs a good spanking" after a meltdown mistaken for a tantrum.

Pretty sure tantrums, which are intentional misbehaviors, don't leave you struggling to calm down to the point you are hyperventilating

Oh, also my mom speculating that I must be autistic because of all the vaccines I got as a young child

In translation:

"Dapat kaming mga normal hindi nag aadjust sa inyong mga special. Dapat kayong mga special mag adjust para samin."

"We (NTs) should not have to adjust (accomodate) to you (NDs). It's you (NDs) who had to adjust (conform) for us (NTs)."

Makes me want to destroy society because of whatever shite ideas that is being perpetuated and collectively self enforced.


But that's not the worst of it;

In which after asking to 'translate' whatever XYZ meant:
"Bakit ako bababa sa level mo?"

"Why do I (someone articulate and contextual) have to (explain it to you)'stoop to your level'?" Pertaining to my current state (not ideal) related to my language and communication abilities.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

"you don't look autistic". (Autism has no "look". Autism is not down syndrome)

"You are not autistic!"

Someone once yelled at me "Did you see (name of another autistic person)?! That's real autism!"

you can do anything you set your mind to. ( You are just not trying hard enough) .

"Everyone does that, not everything is a result of your disorder" (in regards to autistic struggles w executive dysfunction)

I can't immediately remember anything that was very explicit, but I've heard a lot of unclear instructions that seem to assume if I can't get the meaning from the context, that's my hard luck.

I don't think ableism is always the "guilty" variety, i.e. where the ableist deliberately denies adjustments that they know full well the disabled person needs, though I'm sure it exists. There's also an innocent variety where they just don't know what's going on. And there's a kind where the adjustments are too cumbersome to reasonably expect people to grant them. The world can't be expected to revolve round disabled people. It might be able to do that better if society felt it had more spare capacity, but many people have their own troubles and they have little or nothing to give. Nation states aren't loving, caring families.