Ever look at your posts on here, social media/screen time &

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think to yourself: "Wow, what a colossal waste of time. I WISH I were more naturally focused so I could get the things done that Need doing and work through my various goals, ideas etc."

That sort of thing?

Sucks being so easily distracted by forums, Facebook, memes, streaming news clips and all forms of wasted screen time.

I really need to force myself to get offline more, work more, exercise more, read more books, do more things I know need doing that I should have already completed long ago and Could have if I were better able to focus on tasks that need doing. I definitely have envy for those naturally gifted with focus and discipline who are much more easily able to bang off their list of tasks and move on to the next productive thing.

So many tasks don't truly take all that much time to complete, but I find a way to make them take for f*****g ever and then worry about potential consequences for possibly being too late. All sorts of things - paperwork, Christmas shopping etc. Sucks having ample time to complete things with ease and then scrambling to try to get things done because my focus is so terrible.

I know I'm not the only one and I know there are some things I can do about it to improve again and just need to get on with doing them - meds, exercise, diet, water, sleep, various coping mechanism strategies like lists/reminders/calendars etc. I guess this thread is a reminder to myself to get to work.

I quit Facebook about a year ago and one of the reasons was that it really affected my attention span in a negative way.

I would spend several hours mindlessly browsing and it was just such a waste.

Limiting myself to WP for social purposes has really helped me recently.

I tend to use all of it less when I have something/anything to do - work commitments, sports, motorcycling, going to the beach etc. But I've worked less in the past year than any other year in the past ~decade or so. Idle hands and all that. A bit like a drug addict automatically filling a void with a time wasting addiction when they don't have commitments and obligations to keep their hands busy. Work is good, commitments and obligations are good.

Really wish I was more naturally focused and disciplined. But I'm not so I have to start getting better at Forcing myself to do things. Something I should have completed over a week ago I've been "trying," to do for days but haven't done it and time is ticking if I don't get it done pretty damned fast I might create some problems for myself. So ridiculous when you think about it logically. Beyond ridiculous. Ironically, it's filling out some medical forms related to ADHD stuff that I should have already completed but keep procrastinating on. I've just burnt 2h 20mins online - again - without accomplishing much of anything in that time. Thing is, the info I need to complete the forms is online so kind need to be online to do it. Self sabotage loop or something.

Closed this tab.
Close Facecrack tab.
Took a dexedrine pill.
Enlisted the assistance of a family member to talk through evaluations/assessments of my various impairments/afflictions.
Completed a rough draft.
Printed additional copies of forms.
Will transcribe as final draft in a few minutes.
Might make additional notes on a single page to submit with forms.
Will phone the doctors office in the morning and go deliver forms etc hopefully Tomorrow!

Then that's one MAJOR "paperworky-type," task Completed and off my mind. A significant part of the urgency to complete this ASAP is that my GP since 1991 is retiring at the end of this year.. sooo, if he's going to write up and sign off on some forms and submit them to CRA for me to see if they'll qualify me for a tax credit then it has to be Now or Never kind of thing.

Still, this is something that should have been done and submitted over a week ago - not at the last possible second.. further proving the simple fact that ADHD impairs my ability to get things done in a timely manner, if at all sometimes. Kinda crazy how all this stuff works.. there are things I can do significantly better & faster than "normies," buuuut such a laundry list of regular day to day life things that I just suuuuuuuuuck at.. and if I didn't I'd be a whole lot more accomplished than I am.

Oh well, can't change the past. Can keep making an effort to change Me and the future, though. Might just be able to achieve some more things in this lifetime yet - especially if I make a number of adjustments to myself and my life that enable me to get more done.. including a massive reduction in wasted screen time.

Finished filling out forms and wrote a note etc with everything all ready to drive over to the doc's office as soon as tomorrow. Guess it feels good to complete something. Simple task, I know, but all this stuff just weighs so heavily and creates such anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed for no good logical reason Whatsoever considering how little time it Actually takes to complete a damned task.

My stressing and worrying about things I need to do to actually getting things done ratio is absolutely ridiculous. It's a combination of maddening and embarrassing how much time & energy I've wasted procrastinating and dreading completing tasks vs. the actual amount of time and energy required to complete the tasks in the first place. Frustrating stuff.

When I get stressed, I waste way too much time doing things like playing games or going down various internet rabbit holes. I could totally make better use of my time, but it's like I get in this rut where all I can do is sit and try to calm myself down with crap like that. Not that helps me any. Plus, I'm a creature of habit. If I'm habitually active, I stay that way and do things on automatic. Unfortunately, inactivity goes the same with me and it gets so hard to make myself get up when I'm seemingly stuck in an inactive bout. It drives me nuts and make me get down on myself. I'm currently stuck in an inactive state and I'm seriously struggling to pull myself out of this spot.

Yep.

When I'm active, working, working out, running etc I'm habitually doing it all.. this past year has been the opposite and my physical and mental health are suffering some for it. Time to ditch some screen time and get healthier/fitter again.



Managed to get the forms over to my doc's office before they closed this afternoon. There was a notice posted about Christmas holidays and when he'd be back in January. I was like uh what? I was told he was retiring at the end of this calendar year.. nope, not yet apparently. Sometime next Summer or Winter. Sooo, because I was misinformed I stressed about scrambling to do it before he dips out around Christmas time for good.. but apparently I didn't load him with this work last minute end of his career And still had many moons to do it later if I needed to. Whatever; I'd have wasted that time and procrastinated and stressed etc anyways sooo it's a it of a blessing I stressed myself to get it done now so it's done.

I'm a nightmare for it. I procrastinate under the false premise that I'm being productive. Constantly reshuffling items on the to-do list. Forever. I'm collecting tasks like Pokémon.

So, I've started limiting how much time I look at my to-do list. I try to do most tasks before they end up on the list. But only in task accomplishing hours (not in the middle of night). I no longer allow subtasks (tasks that make up the main task) on the list. It's made me realise that I don't actually have that much I want to do, I just made it look like I did because I'm avoiding one task in particular.

I’m like that when I don’t have a job. I’m now focused on other hobbies and interests than people. I’m still looking for a job and I feel lost at this point.

Facebook memories are another one.. this mornings was a photo from NINE YEARS AGO. Make me think/feel I haven't accomplished nearly enough in the last 9 years and time is flyyyyying by so if I'm going to achieve anything of significance in my life I need to get to work and change myself and my habits as much as possible so that I can get something more done in the next decade.

Pros and cons to reminders like that.. pro it maybe spurs me into action to change, con it maybe causes a bit of negativity and depression as I reflect on lost or wasted time. I know; can't change the past, no point in thinking about it.

I have chronic fatigue (ME/CFS) so I actually can't do 95% of the things I would like to do. My task for myself is accepting that and being at peace with it and actually trying to find some positive aspect in having a quiet and contemplative life. But maybe some of that attitude can be a good thing for anyone. You don't want to stress yourself out by giving yourself a lot of rules and goals that maybe you could just skip and be just as happy about, and perhaps more relaxed in your day to day.

Those automated memory reminders are terrible.

'Hey, remember that teenage selfie you took when you were going through a phase?'

'Wow, I sure was bad at photography then'

'How about this event that ended up tragic?'

'Oh right, yikes yeah, thanks for reminding me to take that down'.

I just ignore them now and don't look.

Sorta.

Then again, I have neither the personality nor the long chunks of free time necessary for socializing in person; at least, not very often.

It is easier just to log in first thing in the morning, keep the window open, and browse for new topics every hour or so.