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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 5:34 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
You don’t know my friend. She fell in love. She didn’t give a f**k about how much money he made or could potentially make.

She also came from a rich family, you said. Did she inherit enough wealth to be comfortable and could then partner for love and not have to worry about how they'd provide for themselves?

No.

Statistical outlier then.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 5:36 pm

In an ideal world, most people don't want a partner with a HUGE income disparity.
That goes both ways.
A rich man doesn't usually want a poor woman.
If they do, it's to objectify them or bring them up to standard e.g., My Fair Lady, Pretty Woman.
That's when men start acting like white knights and providers.
It's creepy.
Most women I know wouldn't want to play those roles.
They don't want to be dependent on some guy's money.


Personally, all things being equal, I'd prefer a man who isn't really rich or really poor.
If he's really poor he might want my money.
If he's really rich, he might look down on me or hire expensive lawyers in a breakup.

Just give me an average joe with average bucks, even if it's disability money like mine.
I'd never comingle our finances anyway, so it wouldn't / shouldn't matter what he earns.


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TwilightPrincess
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07 Jan 2024, 5:37 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
You don’t know my friend. She fell in love. She didn’t give a f**k about how much money he made or could potentially make.

She also came from a rich family, you said. Did she inherit enough wealth to be comfortable and could then partner for love and not have to worry about how they'd provide for themselves?

No.

Statistical outlier then.

And so often when our experience doesn’t fit in with someone’s preconceived notions it doesn’t “count” somehow. :roll:

Then people wonder why fewer women post here. It must be because they’re busy having sex with their perfect partners. /s


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 5:39 pm

I dated a homeless man when I was making six figures.
We dated for years.

Maybe I'm the outlyingest outlier there is.


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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 5:41 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
In an ideal world, most people don't want a partner with a HUGE income disparity.
That goes both ways.
A rich man doesn't usually want a poor woman.
If they do, it's to objectify them or bring them up to standard e.g., My Fair Lady, Pretty Woman.
That's when men start acting like white knights and providers.
It's creepy.
Most women I know wouldn't want to play those roles.
They don't want to be dependent on some guy's money.


Personally, all things being equal, I'd prefer a man who isn't really rich or really poor.
If he's really poor he might want my money.
If he's really rich, he might look down on me or hire expensive lawyers in a breakup.

Just give me an average joe with average bucks, even if it's disability money like mine.
I'd never comingle our finances anyway, so it wouldn't / shouldn't matter what he earns.

You're completely forgetting rich old men that are perfectly fine with low income young hot women as partners for arm candy/sex.

Even yourself would prefer someone in a similar income range vs. poor or rich; like most people - comparable income. What's different is that you wouldn't commingle finances whereas Almost All married or common-law partners commingle finances as their financial partnership in order to afford things like housing/vehicles/vacations/retirement etc are dependant on one another's incomes to make it work by splitting the costs of big ticket things in order to live cheaper together than apart.


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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 5:43 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I dated a homeless man when I was making six figures.
We dated for years.

Maybe I'm the outlyingest outlier there is.


Same. I was earning approximately $100k or so with salary, bonuses, and other income a couple years ago when I had my fling with my homeless fwb.

It didn't matter to Me that they couldn't match my income in large part because it wasn't ever going to be a marriage situation And home ownership is all but impossible here anyways so may as well live life to live not to qualify for a mortgage and then work 7 days/nights to give all your earnings to a bank for 40 years in order to still be dead when you die and none of that matter for naught.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 5:45 pm

The thread is about dating unemployed men, not about marrying them or shacking up together.
Going on a date to a restaurant or a movie doesn't require comingling money.
At best they take turns paying if they see each other again.


And no, I wasn't completely forgetting arm candy.
That's why I said most women I know wouldn't tolerate being treated that way.
We don't want to be bought for sex, or as a trophy.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 5:49 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
What's different is that you wouldn't commingle finances whereas Almost All married or common-law partners commingle finances as their financial partnership in order to afford things like housing/vehicles/vacations/retirement etc are dependant on one another's incomes to make it work by splitting the costs of big ticket things in order to live cheaper together than apart.



I did comingle finances when I was married. I paid the downpayment on our house and bought all the furniture. We had a joint chequing account and a joint line of credit secured against the ... my ... house. He wasn't working or making any mortgage payments, but I was.

When he left, he went to the bank and withdrew the entire amount available on our line of credit, which was close to half a million dollars. They let him, because his name was on the account. Then he closed his name off the account so I'd have to pay it back. I was making $29,000 at the time and I was on maternity leave, getting only 66% of that.

The money he stole bought him a new house and paid for his lawyer against me in court, where he fought to be awarded the deed to my house.

That's why I won't comingle again.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 5:57 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Even yourself would prefer someone in a similar income range vs. poor or rich; like most people - comparable income.



You've missed a key point.
I said all things being equal , that would be my choice.

That means if I met two versions of the same perfect partner, and one was way rich or way poor, and the other was relatively comparable to my income, but THEY WERE THE SAME PERSON otherwise (e.g., I loved them and trusted them), then it stands to reason they might as well have a comparable income.

I did not mean that I'd choose a comparable income person automatically, over someone who I might like better who earned a lower wage than mine, or possibly even no wage at all.


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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 6:01 pm

A handful more examples of statistical outliers, not the norms.

Dating someone is far different than Hooking Up with someone. Beyond aesthetics and sexual health I don't need to know much of anything about a hookup. But to consider dating someone? Which is typically to test the waters of a long term relationship, and then dating evolves into some form of LTR, then there are a whole lot more criteria ranging from intelligence to ambition and income and other things that are all factors in determining whether someone is the right fit for a partner or not.


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TwilightPrincess
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07 Jan 2024, 6:15 pm

Whatever doesn’t fit in with you specific worldview seems to be a statistical outlier. It’s fascinating considering this topic is about women dating men and you aren’t a woman nor do you date women.


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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 6:19 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Whatever doesn’t fit in with you specific worldview seems to be a statistical outlier. It’s fascinating considering this topic is about women dating men and you aren’t a woman nor do you date women.

The topic is "Dating an unemployed man." Rather sexist of you to assume a man cannot date an unemployed man. I've also been with trans men that are definitely still affected by the hormones of their biological bodies. Plus I've been with women, too. Lots of assumptions and flaws in your statements about me and this thread, but I suppose I'm entertained somewhat by the fact that you're fascinated.


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TwilightPrincess
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07 Jan 2024, 6:19 pm

The OP:

Jamesy wrote:
Are there a lot of women out there who not mind dating long term unemployed men?


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goldfish21
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07 Jan 2024, 6:21 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
The OP:
Jamesy wrote:
Are there a lot of women out there who not mind dating long term unemployed men?


The thread title:

Jamesy wrote:
"Dating Unemployed Man"


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TwilightPrincess
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07 Jan 2024, 6:22 pm

We both know what Jamesy was talking about. His OP clarifies it further.


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IsabellaLinton
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07 Jan 2024, 6:26 pm

The only "sexist" comments in this thread are the ones that attempt to paint women as gold diggers.


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