Recently diagnosed
As an introduction, I have Asperger's Syndrome. Generally it was a subset of conditions covered on this site.
You asked in your introduction - "but my brains always felt like it cannot trigger to right emotion at the right time. So these tears will likely come at the most random of times and places - Is this quite normal with autism?"
I would say that trait is probably one of our traits. When I analyze information, I look at it from many different angles. That takes time. Most NTs just bounce around from one topic to another to another. But I am still on the same first topic, thinking it through. So generally when I try to communicate I am always several topics behind and out of place. So your reaction time might be slower than most NTs but it may also be more detailed and precise. It is like Mr. Spock in the original Star Trek series.
Its good to know its not just me then! I think a lot of the way I feel right now is just trying to normalise things I have struggled with all of my life. Except now I have something I can label the reason with!
You might go back to my first response. I have added a little bit more information there. I was in the middle of answering your post but I had to break away for a short while but now I am back.
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Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."
Understand that we are different than NTs. Our brains are different and as a result we think very differently. The primary reason why is because of brain structure. The human brain is very complex. We have multiple brains. Some exist when we are awake and some exist when we sleep. As a child, both sides of our brain, the left side and the right side exist together. But when we turn into adulthood around age 11 or 12, the left side becomes the dominant brain. Our right side becomes a support role. But for some of us, we die before we reach this age. Our left side which is our dominant side dies, but our right side can take control and we grow up as a right side dominant brain. That is what happened to me around age 3 or 4. I was attacked by a large bull, it was like being attacked by a dinosaur. It weighed over 100 times my weight and I died. I experienced what is known as A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE at the time, but I came back but I was a very different person then before the attack. Eventually my dominant left side came back in a damaged state and became my night time brain that exist in REM and NREM sleep.
So realize that you are not broken, but rather different. You possess some skills that are very remarkable but you also possess some weaknesses that will drive you crazy. So the best approach in life is to know your skills and use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.
I would also suggest that you read a book by Jill Bolte Taylor called Whole Brain Living. She suffered a massive stoke around age 35. It was a brain bleed and she came very close to death. But she recovered. But she came back as a right side dominant brain, a very different brain. She goes into great detail about the construction of the human brain and how it works in this book. It is worth reading in my humble opinion.
I appreciate this message Jimmy. For about a week I really went into a hole and was struggling to process the diagnosis but the more I read about autism and learn about it, the more its starting to sink in an make sense. It really does explain SO much of my entire life from childhood to this very day. Now when I am going into a total meltdown I can step back and say "this is my autism". I am determined to not let it define me, but more to act as a reason for the way I respond in various scenarios.
What you say about the brain is really interesting so I will be sure to look up the book you recommended there.
I hope you have a good Christmas and thanks again for taking the time to message me. Really means a lot.
Iris.Ell
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Feb 2024
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 70
Location: Switzerland
Hello
I just wanted to say that I do feel the same like you here...
:Aside from the initial relief I really struggle to identify my emotions. Like I feel like I should have cried when given the news as this answers so many of my lifelong questions, but my brains always felt like it cannot trigger to right emotion at the right time. So these tears will likely come at the most random of times and places - Is this quite normal with autism?
For example, when my grandmother died , I went to my computer and started a course in Ableton. Only after days I desperately realised and cried. I am still not officially diagnosed like you, but I have self diagnosed (I am a psychologist myself and couldn't tell for years) but a specialised clinical psychologist confirmed. Plus, the more I grow older, the more I want my isolation and hate the noise and the city. I barely go out unless its an event that there is a serious reason I will go and it MUST be with the music I love.
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"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone"
Blaise Pascal, Pensées (Thoughts)
WELCOME Mr-F glad to see you have found Wrong Planet ....Have met at least two Aspie males , whom share similiar
experiences growing up as you have describe ., that they very seriously did not deserve.....And was amazed at these mens ages ,that those old messages they got early on had marked them for life . And creating what , I could easily see put great limitations on their apparent, growth in Life. Am very sorry to say .. Best of Wishes with your future , ! Must of almost been a relief to find out circumstances , possibly attached to your past. Think you may enjoy wondering about this sites threads and forums ... Absolute treasure trove of Info.
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Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,782
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
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