Is it my fault that people are socially awkward with me?

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I seem to feel like its my fault because I indirectly created the social awkwardness other people maybe feeling around me that I come across face to face that I've been messaging on social media and I don't know them or don't know them that well and that they must be thinking I'm that weirdo who was messaging them. I happened today at work when I served someone with her boyfriend/husband and child even she used to be someone I would see quite regularly in an area I used to live in and used to talk to me.

I know for a long time now I stopped posting things in the ''What's on your mind?'' box thinking that didn't help anything but I still find myself messaging other people I don't really know and I don't know if it because its a combination of being lonesome, frustration, wanting to moan about something I'm upset about to get attention and surprise people. I seem to think all of this started because I tried or still try too hard to be like other ''neurotypical'' people and wanting to be connected and be part of a group of friends like them, having interesting and nice photos and things they upload to share with and yet when I tried doing that, I'd receive little attention or comments from people.

Are you in therapy? Therapy would help in the development of appropriate social skills.

What you shouldn't do is to excessively PM people because that would be incredibly annoying to the recipients. To better clarify things, I will ask you to NOT PM me. Anything you want to say to me may be said on this board. I've been PMed in the past at other sites and it got to be quite old because I didn't know these people. It also got to be frustrating when suggestions I offered were met with whining complaints about why they couldn't do this or that. I am not a trained therapist. I am not looking for a PM pen pal. I refuse to enable anyone who wants to use me as a metaphorical sounding board to continually vent his or her concerns about how unfair they think life is.

Life is unfair. If and when life deals us a blow, all we can do is to pick ourselves up, learn from this experience, and move on with our respective lives.

I did not learn this lesson until I was in my 30's. To be fair, I didn't even know I was autistic until I was in my 50's. I did not receive a clinical diagnosis for autism until I was 59. For a good part of my earlier life, I felt sorry for myself. I never fit in. I didn't understand why other people had lots of friends while I had none. My life felt full of doom and gloom and this colored all of my interactions with other people.

My life didn't begin to improve until I realized that I was the master of my own destiny. I could either accept things as they were, or I could metaphorically spit in fate's eye while working to identify weaknesses so as to develop coping mechanisms and work arounds to offset these faults.

You have the same choice. You can walk around in doom and gloom feeling sorry for yourself, or you can decide to do something about it.

You may start by NOT PMing me.

It's not that I'm unsympathetic, but I've already gone through this experience and I've heard stories similar to your own, more times that I care to remember.

It's true that you created the awkwardness by PMing people too much, and saying things that are personal and difficult to hear, especially if they are people you don't know well. But...

First of all it's not your fault if you are sad and lonely and desperate to form some connection and you go about it in an awkward way. Sometimes we don't know a way to do it that is not awkward, and sometimes we are so sad that we can't stop ourselves from trying to reach out, even knowing or worrying that our messages won't be welcome.

Second of all, you don't have to do the other people's thinking for them. You are not forcing them to read or respond to your messages. If they don't want to respond, or don't want to read your messages, that's really up to them. In a way that's true of all social interactions: you do your part and it's up to them to do their part if they want to.

Messaging random people on social media will set you up for disappointment, especially if you are an awkward autistic person.

I think it would be better to avoid messaging random folk or at least, pick those to message that seem to be eligible for reciprocating you socially, if you can do that.