Hi everyone,
I just recently figured out I am autistic. I had to go through a bit of therapy (ART/EMDR) for CPTSD. And I'm on the other side of recovery. With that recovery, my "symptoms" have been presenting very loudly. I have not been diagnosed yet but I am a white woman (48 years old) in the USA so there is that. Since this discovery, I have met a few people on the spectrum and it has changed my life. For the first time ever, I have had the best conversations. With these wonderful people, I do not need try to explain myself. I am able to ask the questions I want without feeling bad. I can answer questions without having to dumb them down. I don't have to smile or pretend I'm happy. I'm comfortable, relaxed even, when conversing. I did not know what ND/NT was until now. Or recharge. Or masking. I am learning so much it is a bit overwhelming but very much worth it. I am learning what has been under the mask as I have worn mine since birth. My dad wanted a boy - yeah that worked out well. And boy was my dad threatened by me. I have had to hide my gifts at math. Been ridiculed for being different my entire life. Ostracized by my family. Made fun of because of my gift at being able to dance anything after seeing it once (within my abilities). But now I can be me, all of me, at once or masked. This is the first time in my life I have been able to unmask and, I have to say, I like me. I am pretty darn awesome. My brain is crazy fast and it is awesome. I am so grateful to be able to figure this out. New beginnings. New people (that actually get me). Learning to function/cope at work. So many good things. I know there will be challenges but this makes everything more palatable. I look forward to learning from all of you and, hopefully, being able to contribute at some point. Thank you.
06 Jan 2024, 8:39 am
