I seem to think that other people when they are younger do certain things or activities during or after school, college or university as though that's what is ''expected'' of them and that everyone has experienced it but me when I know that is probably not true. Those things included clubbing, going to a person's house for a party, getting wasted, having sex and so on.
I feel I look at these things and somehow feel bad that I didn't do much of those things or never did them and have expressed it on here probably before but at the same time, a part of me feels as though I'm not interested in going to really noisy social environments with flashing lights that don't play the music I like, or getting really drunk and so on but I do like to have a laugh and have a nice time talking to other people. A few times I remember I was invited by people to go out but didn't go or turn up as I think maybe I wasn't as social then as I am now and I don't know if it was anxiety or discomfort of being out of a routine that stopped me from going.
As I may have said before, I did go out with my sister and a couple of school friends around some pubs but only two of us were old enough to buy alcohol and most of the evening we spent ages talking about stuff I can't remember now and I do remember feeling bored and glad to get home. I also went to a club to see a family friend play in a band and spent the evening outside because I couldn't stand the flashing lights, even though I'm not epileptic.
I always seem to think as though people ''need'' to have a past in which they had times when they went to parties and stuff just to they can say ''Yes, I did all that stuff'' even if they were not really into it just to fill the gap of life so they won't regret it.
09 Jan 2024, 3:47 pm
