Manipulation and reactionary paranoia about it.

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Initially I was pretty confident and outgoing, but I didn't realise how people can
learn how you react and tailor their words in nasty ways to control you.

Now after a few really bad experiences I am having difficulty trusting people.
It doesn't help that the culture I am in is pretty indirect, and knowing that I am
vulnerably makes me tired and stressed, then people just infantilize me.

I think logging people's behaviour and words kind of helps, at least I can look back and see
if there is a pattern of a particular trick. I know I get a weird feeling when people say something
controlling, but it is usually hard for me to "un-manipulate" myself.

Has anyone successfully dealt with this with some kind of system?

A method I had used..is to consider" anything "anyone " tells you as a only an opinion". Nothing more. .
discovering anything for yourself is the best way to establish factual content . Basically all I see or hear is merely reference material .... no matter who is telling you . Then apply what you know as facts . From your own experience.
if not altering manipulative , then giving you a better opinion , for you to base a thought or idea upon .
This process is much better applied and used if you are a little older . Learning is a lifelong process...learning how people manipulate ( things,facts,ideas,beliefs) is a process too . IMHO......
If you can do these things ,you might be less subject to reactionary paranoia...and do things that reduce your stress levels .( hobbies,crafts,whatever) When these thoughts come up.

Thanks for your reply, that's a good perspective to take!

I'll keep on truckin.

look for key words that these folks use : should, ought, 'supposed to' are all signs that they want you to do something for them, make you do something besides what you have been doing. Those are clues that these folks have an agenda that involves getting you to do something their way, or for their purposes. Its not a rule, its not a law, its not even necessary, just something they want.

Yeah, some kind of linguistics analysis for sure.

One I hear also is 'tag words', like "(some statement)....don't you?", "(some flattery)... arent you?"
This tells me they want me to agree to the statement and then you figure out why they want that,
and now you have what they are really saying.

Basic sales books are useful but there are a lot of strategies and most are derived from normal
human interaction - for example often people connection by noticing similarities or mimicking someone,
but this is used to death in sales.

The complexity in identifying a technique versus honest social interaction is the root problem.
NTs have "the hardware" and have been playing longer, I have to do this manually. Upside is
NTs also make mistakes, so with diligence I can probably match a good NT.

I have heard from some vlogs about autistics that studied psychology for this purpose and in the end
got scary good at reading people (in their own words though).

Once, when I had not seen any TV for years but had spent some time meditating, I went to visit my mother and was left alone for a few minutes in a room where she kept a TV on. When the commercials came on I was literally rolling around laughing at how blatant the manipulation was. Then, within half an hour, it was all going directly to my subconscious, as intended.
Some years later, I used a radio for music, and though that since I was not going to buy a mattress, golf clubs, or anything else they advertised, I would not be affected. Then I realized that every ad was telling me that I was unhappy, and would remain that way until I did buy.
I take precautions, and am very grateful for being able to recognize lies involving engineering, but I live in a sea of manipulation. Few people even try to persuade by formal proofs now.

I have previously dealt with MANIPULATION in my life time, if I haven't I wouldn't ever had made this video content that I am sharing right now. I didn't realise this from my experience from a person that I grew up being friends with as a teenage kid until I was 20 years old, preventing me for becoming an individual that I should've become.

That's why I hate being told what to do and sometimes having shifty viewers who watch my channel nag me to take out what makes my Autistic YouTube Creator Channel so unique. Often I had been ignoring those viewers despite they're trying to help and offer me constructive criticism.

The purpose of my channel for me is to go the distance being an individual and just do my own thing rather than make content to suit any shifty viewers who tell me what to do and gain power, success and satisfaction taking control on a person that they will never meet in the real world.