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Flirting

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TwilightPrincess
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15 Jan 2024, 12:13 pm

MaxE wrote:
Not that you should necessarily respond to any such advances, but you should be aware there are genuinely lonely guys out there wanting to connect but not knowing how.
How do you know she isn't aware of that?


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TwilightPrincess
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15 Jan 2024, 12:15 pm

MaxE wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ Yeah, don't even get me started on the pet names stuff. :eew: Pet names are cool to use with a boyfriend or partner, but otherwise, I'm not your "sweetie," "sunshine," "honey," etc. A guy offline who appeared to be in his 30s called me "honey" repeatedly the other day which made me super uncomfortable. It's not a cultural norm where I live.

It could also be deliberate disrespect. An awkward guy who tries to flirt, but doesn't really know how, wouldn't do it that way. Something more typical might be if say, he's a clerk, and he goes out of his way to help the lady, beyond what his job requires.

Some WOULD do it that way, including some of the pervs on WP who joined the ranks of those-who-shall-not-be-named. There's quite a variety when it comes to human behavior. All people aren't the same. The individual who called me "honey" wasn't trying to be disrespectful in my opinion.


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MaxE
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15 Jan 2024, 12:21 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Not that you should necessarily respond to any such advances, but you should be aware there are genuinely lonely guys out there wanting to connect but not knowing how.
How do you know she isn't aware of that?

She might but she didn't bring up that topic so who knows?


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TwilightPrincess
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15 Jan 2024, 12:25 pm

I suspect that most people are fully aware of it since it's not exactly rocket science, but it doesn't invalidate their experiences with feeling uncomfortable, etc. Other genders commit faux pas due to social awkwardness, too. Er...not that I would know anything about that. :lol:

I enjoy flirting when I've already gotten to know someone at least somewhat, and we have things in common, etc. Otherwise, I'm wary of intentions. If someone persists even though no reciprocal interest was demonstrated, that's another red flag.

Some of the difficulties in talking about this topic is that "flirting" is such a vague term and can mean different things to different people. I'm mostly talking about flirting with the intention of it leading to something more.


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Harmonie
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15 Jan 2024, 10:21 pm

MaxE wrote:
Harmonie wrote:
With that said, as a woman, you begin to realize that most men that interact with you are only doing it because they want to date you. Or at least that's the way it is for me. Especially online. I'm not very attractive IRL, I'm just not the prettiest woman, so men IRL tend to look past me. but online I'll get guys interacting with me all of the time and they are so darn obvious about it.

Well some guys who flirt with you IRL might actually wish they could seriously date you. Sadly, not all, but you have to realize there's a lot of guys who don't think themselves even slightly attractive. Particularly if they have what might seem an awkward approach. A real player would be much smoother. Not that you should necessarily respond to any such advances, but you should be aware there are genuinely lonely guys out there wanting to connect but not knowing how. Even if your autism makes you less predisposed to getting romantically involved with somebody you encounter in your daily life.


I've dealt with lots of awkward advances, I know not all of them are like the ones with pet names. I mean, if the cashier was flirting with me at the restaurant that was awkward but a lot less creepy.

I'm more looking for a girlfriend, TBH (but am open to a boyfriend...maybe). There are whole stereotypes out there of us not being able to tell whenever we're flirting with each other, and sadly I think they're pretty accurate. LOL. Oh, how will I ever find someone? Between me having trouble reading people to begin with and this...


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Mikurotoro92
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26 Jan 2024, 2:27 am

MaxE wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Kissing in such a situation might be characterized as something other than flirting. I would think a counselor would talk to him about it. How do you feel about it?


Something other than flirting?

Like what?

According to our old friend Wikipedia, flirting is
Quote:
Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving body language, or spoken or written communication. It is used to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with another person and for amusement.

A person might flirt with another by speaking or behaving in such a way that suggests their desire to increase intimacy in their current relationship with that person. The approach may include communicating a sense of playfulness, irony, or by using double entendres.


I don't think kissing someone in a situation like day program counts as body language.

Do you like that guy? Would you kiss him (like at a party)?


Hmm...maybe

He sure likes kissing me!


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26 Jan 2024, 5:11 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Kissing in such a situation might be characterized as something other than flirting. I would think a counselor would talk to him about it. How do you feel about it?


Something other than flirting?

Like what?

According to our old friend Wikipedia, flirting is
Quote:
Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving body language, or spoken or written communication. It is used to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with another person and for amusement.

A person might flirt with another by speaking or behaving in such a way that suggests their desire to increase intimacy in their current relationship with that person. The approach may include communicating a sense of playfulness, irony, or by using double entendres.


I don't think kissing someone in a situation like day program counts as body language.

Do you like that guy? Would you kiss him (like at a party)?


Hmm...maybe

He sure likes kissing me!

On the mouth?


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Mikurotoro92
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26 Jan 2024, 10:11 am

MaxE wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Kissing in such a situation might be characterized as something other than flirting. I would think a counselor would talk to him about it. How do you feel about it?


Something other than flirting?

Like what?

According to our old friend Wikipedia, flirting is
Quote:
Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving body language, or spoken or written communication. It is used to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with another person and for amusement.

A person might flirt with another by speaking or behaving in such a way that suggests their desire to increase intimacy in their current relationship with that person. The approach may include communicating a sense of playfulness, irony, or by using double entendres.


I don't think kissing someone in a situation like day program counts as body language.

Do you like that guy? Would you kiss him (like at a party)?


Hmm...maybe

He sure likes kissing me!

On the mouth?


Lol

Oh no no no!! !

He probably wants to but if he even tried it he would land in hot water and possibly get kicked out of the program!

If I was to actually kiss him on the lips it would most likely be during those unsupervised dates

But on the hand is still VERY romantic

EDIT:

I forgot to mention there are a LOT of secluded rooms and places at the Day Program where 2 people could easily sneak away to but again the risk is too high!! !

The staff there always keeps an eye on us to make sure we don't go anywhere we aren't supposed to

I have thought about taking one of the men there into the storage room to have my way with him and it's hard to fight those urges!


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