sister told me she was selling the house but not anymore

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Since October 2023, my sister has been telling me that she is going to sell the house that I live in and I have to move out.

Since then, she has come over a lot more often than usual. Gardening and other chores. And she told me to do a lot of things such as cutting trees, cleaning the litterbox, cleaning the table and et cetera (and I did).

Been overreacting. So afraid of becoming homeless, living in the same apartment with convicted felons or what the flying f**k ever, living too far from the bus stop to work at my current Home Depot or any other Depot, living too far from public transportation, living somewhere dangerous, living too far from the supermarket, or any other nightmare that I do not even know enough to imagine. Emotional overeating way too much. Exhausted a lot. Uptight and high strung. Failing bowel movements. Just Tuesday, failed two consecutive bowel movements, 34 and 60 minutes. (The most recent time I failed two consecutive bowel movements was 2016, after eating two bus stop tamales.) s**t.

Today I e-mailed my sister "when do I have to move out?".

She answered "I don’t think it makes sense financially to move out now. If you move we’re looking at apartments with HOA fees. If you want to move out we can consider."

I do not want to move out, nor have I ever wanted to move out, for the above reasons, and I said that.

Does that mean she is not selling the house?

If she is not selling the house, then why is she ordering me to clean it?

And if she decided not to sell the house, why didn't she tell me earlier?

Communication.

But I feel like the whole thing is my fault, b/c if I earned enough for room and board, I wouldn't've been living in a house that she owned in the first place.

I feel so ashamed, like I am such a failure. 40 years old, Bachelor's in Cognitive Science, Associate's in Accounting, autistic, clinically depressed, FTM, and still earning minimum wage. All the jobs I had: unskilled, entry level, minimum wage, any old monkey, no educational requirements, restaurant retail sales.

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It sounds like she might have been planning on changing your housing situation, rather than just kicking you out but that it doesn't make financial sense to do so.

Her use of we makes me think that she feels your housing situation is a shared concern, not just yours.

Are you maybe prone to assuming things will turn out to be a bigger disaster than they usually turn out to be?

This is called catastrophizing and it's not uncommon among those of us with ASD.

Do you know how long lapsed between when she made the decision to not sell and when she told you? It sounds like she might have told you around when she confirmed what she was going to do.

If you're prone to catastrophizing your sister might need to account for this when she communicates with you, that said she might not understand the extent of the problem without it being communicated to her.

If her plans changed, the deep cleaning might have been in preparation until plans changed. She might also just want the place kept cleaner overall, because she owns it but also because if it gets too bad it starts to become increasingly difficult to make it clean again.

Have you ever looked into jobs that would use your credentials?

Funeral empire

My sister correctly told me that it didn't make sense financially to kick me out of the house right now. However my worthless corpse is never going to earn above minimum wage. This there will be no "good time" to kick me out of the house (implication)

Yes I am prone to catastrophizing. However sometimes worse case scenarios do occur and it is better to be prepared for them, even if it is just emotional preparation.

Best case scenarios sometimes happen too but they don't require preparation

What jobs use my "credentials"? Very few jobs require Associates degree in Accounting, and they tend to be minimum wage. Very many jobs require bachelor's degree in Accounting or CPA. Which I don't have and will never get.

Cognitive science is like psychology. Fascinating for plenty of people but a "useless degree". My degree was in 2007 and it is now 2024. None of the jobs I have had require a bachelor's degree or anything like that. (Stale degree). Gpa 2.19 out of 4. Too low for grad school or even a teaching credential. Between autism and clinical depression, no matter how many job skills I get someone with a better personality will always get the job. That is not discrimination. They can hire anyone they want.

It sounds like your sister is not wanting you to move out, which seems like very good news. It's unfortunate she did not make this clear to you earlier, as the worry has caused you a lot of distress.

She probably just wants you to keep the place clean because she is concerned with your wellbeing, and maybe also with the wellbeing of the house, by keeping it in good condition.

You have a job now, and while it might not be ideal, it's allowing you to function with enough income to live while you are living in the house. Perhaps you can try to see this as a positive.

As an aside, would your Associates degree in accounting qualify you for work as a bookkeeper?

For a long time, I applied for jobs (including volunteer) with my Associate's degree in accounting, such as bookkeeper. A couple phone interviews and a couple "in person" job interviews. zero offers. the diploma was in 2016. it is now 2024. (stale degree). the unpaid internships that i had in accounting, were in 2014, 2015 and 2016. that's just too long ago.

financially, it is better to have a job, than no job. all things equal.

but not everything is equal. not everything could be quantified or correctly predicted.

for example, some customers drive in ways that make it hard to imagine that they are sober. if i get struck by a car, then that would overpower any "positive" impact, any minimum wage could have had. furthermore, negative effects are sometimes subtle and slow. working at home depot has made me even more uptight than usual, which could lead to a heart attack, eventually and indirectly. there is no way to take that sort of result, into consideration, financially.

besides, my sister e-mailed that now is not a good time to move out financially. (correct). however there will never be a better time than now, to move out. no company is ever gonna hire me for more than minimum wage. home depot is not going to promote me to Assistant Store Manager tomorrow, or any other day (nor do I particularly want that job).

furthermore, my sister still owns the house. she could sell the house tomorrow. i do not have veto authority.

i hate having to depend on someone else's "kindness", because i have zero "rights".

Are you the only one living in a detached house?

If so, why not suggest to your sister that you have a roommate or two there to generate rental revenue and offset the costs of housing more than your rent pays?

If you cannot possibly have a roommate, what if you/she rented space for storage? People pay to store cars in garages/shops, or store other items in an unused bedroom or whatever.

Could be a way for her to collect extra rent and justify just keeping the house vs. putting it on the market.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.