This needs to stop!
I just saw something that disgusted me to my core. I'm so angry I'm shaking. I just saw a YouTube video from one of my favorite autistic creators. There was a lady, possibly with higher support needs, who uploaded a Tiktok of herself watching a kid's show and having a stim. The YouTuber was talking about it and reading the comments, and of course there were stupid comments from NTs, but the thing that disturbed me was that autistic people were making fun of this lady. This is toxic, and it really needs to stop. I grew up in the blind community, and they bullied the crap out of me for being awkward, and told me I was "giving the blind community a bad name". I'm super disappointed because I didn't think this crap would happen in the autistic community. If you're doing this stuff, please stop it. My highest ethic is that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. We know what it's like to be bullied, so why would you bully others? People need to quit with the judginess. She wasn't hurting these people. If anyone here is doing this, how about you live your own life and mind your own business, and let people be happy.
Sorry for posting the link like this. I don't know how to post the way y'all do.
https://youtu.be/_2C7GOOHZa8?si=8uNKFbgjdOEZP0xg
It wasn't the NTs that disturbed me. It was the autistic people in the comments being ableist. I expect it from NTs, or some of them anyway.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,494
Location: Long Island, New York
The following are explanations not excuses.
It is common knowledge that many people who are bullied become bullies themselves. Bullying leaves lasting effects on self esteem and to turn it around to turn it around and find out you have the power over others often feels good.
Autistic people often like to categorize things and are exacting. That can make it too easy to exclude people that do not fit it to your definition of Autism. Autism is not an exclusive club you do not belong to if you are too successful, not successful enough, if you prefer to identify as an aspie, if you want to be cured, if you self diagnose etc.
Cyberbullying often results in no consequences.
A decade ago we had two pejorative's for autistic people who looked down on other autistics who could not or would not mask enough. “Aspie Supremacist”, and “Shiny Aspie”.
A decade ago this site was a lot like the social media sites that were described in the video. I am grateful that this site is not like that anymore.
That so many Autism spaces are still like that I find heartbreaking.
As a small minority the last thing we should be doing is tearing ourselves apart.
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Yes. Posting such a video to the public was bound to attract hateful comments from some NTs, but seeing it from NDs is a tad more surprising and sad. I get that seeing some kinds of stimming will weird some people out and cause the more thoughtless among them to "hit back." I myself can feel somewhat offended by and hostile to anybody acting in a way that looks undignified to me, and I can feel an impulse to slap them, but I don't follow through and actually lash out. Feelings come to us unbidden, but we have some control over our actions, so that's what I do control. Later on I often think more about what happened and realise that what I saw wasn't what I'd thought it was.
I don't know what the answer is. You can't force them to stop. They're convinced that these public stimmers are faking or just being jerks to annoy everybody, or creating some weird culture that considers unsightly things as perfectly acceptable and turning the world into a stupid joke. Calling them bullies or hypocrites would probably just put their backs up. Calm, respectful reasoning stands a better chance, but I doubt many of them would be open to it. You can have a closed group with courtesy rules and throw out anybody who denigrates people, like WP kind of does, though if somebody is thrown out they're not likely to think "well I suppose I deserved it."
If you have a public group then you can also have courtesy rules. You can also tailor the content you publish so that it's less likely to rile people. Me, I wouldn't have uploaded those extreme examples of stimming to a public place with weak courtesy rules. I'd have anticipated a backlash, because as I said, I myself tend to wince a bit at the sight of extreme stimming, and I know that some people don't just wince, they attack.
Hope I haven't offended anybody here with my remarks. No offense intended. That should be clear to anybody who reads them calmly and carefully.
https://youtu.be/_2C7GOOHZa8?si=8uNKFbgjdOEZP0xg
It wasn't the NTs that disturbed me. It was the autistic people in the comments being ableist. I expect it from NTs, or some of them anyway.
I've never heard of her, but she looks cute af and I love how she stims.
That's kind of how I act when I'm excited.
Thanks for sharing her with us.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I didn't watch the video because I don't want to upset myself, but I believe you and I too am sad and angry that people would do this, especially fellow Aspies.
Another thing that might be happening here is that sometimes members of a marginalized or oppressed group are eager to be identified as "one of the good ones" of that group and will go out of their way to distance themselves from someone who is, in their view, making them look bad, in this case by being "too autistic." It's not uncommon for someone to publicly side with bullies in order to protect themselves from being the bullies' next target. This is in no way excusing their behavior.
Nothing wrong with the way you posted it IMO, but if you want to embed the video like many people do, there are 3 ways I know of:
Select your link and click the YouTube button on the "toolbar" above the message box.
Or, without selecting anything, click that button and you'll get a form above the message box, which has a field in which you paste your link. Then you click Insert Into Message and that should do the trick.
Or manually type [youtube] in front of your link and [/youtube] after it.
You can use the green Preview button below the text box to check your work before posting.
Hope this helps. I was rather stumped when I first tried to use that feature, but it turned out to be easier than I'd thought, and after a bit of trial-and-error I got the knack of it.
Sure, I didn't think you were advocating banning them. I just dreamed up all the options I could think of to stop them, and set down my speculative thoughts about whether or not they might work. It's laudible of you to try to get people to do as they would be done by. Probably better than the way I usually use, which is to block them when it's technically possible, but I admire anybody who tries to reform them, and I sometimes have a go at that myself.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
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