Neurologically Confused

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I was always curious and I don't mean to sound envious or jealous, but is it a Aspie thing to not want a lot or live ''boring''? The examples I can use is Instagram Models always see them always wanting the biggest and the best or spoiled, a lot of '' Millenials'' need a $90K+ Vehicle, the biggest house and high paying job, most expensive items. I get confused or it ''creeps me out'' they seem in a ''world of their own'' perhaps it's in our neurological wiring to not see the importance or understand?

There is a lot of stress associated with having those high paying jobs.

I got a job that paid well but wasn't a high stress management job.
I saved a enough money to retire at an early age.

Many of those people with flashy stuff and houses don't have enough savings to retire.
So they may have to work all their lives to pay for it. Their choice.

I hate spending money and live quite a bit under my means because I don't really care for "things" too much.

I'm young (23) so there isn't too much social pressure to "keep up with the Joneses" so to speak because most of my friends make quite a bit less money than I do in software engineering, so right now I can get away with it. I'm hoping I'm able to stay living like this into the future when that social pressure changes. In fact, I hope to reduce my expenses even more. My main goal with wealth building is to retire early, or at the very least, have the ability to work because I want to, not because I have to.

I agree with you. I always hear people say "I had to get off social media because it made me jealous of the life other people have, even if it's clearly faked for the camera", but I could not relate less with that sentiment. I had to get off social media partially because I was so tired of watching people brag about things they can't afford because it felt so phony to me, not because I was jealous of it, and partially because I was tired of seeing advertisers pushing that kind of unsustainable lifestyle onto me. It fills me with disgust instead of jealousy.

Maybe it's because I'm too focused on how to live life in the most "efficient" manner possible and have an interest in sustainability, but the act of consuming products just to consume or to display wealth to other people makes very little sense to me. If I'm buying something, it's because I believe it will serve a purpose in my life. If I want people to notice my appearance, I'll spend money on clothing that projects my interests in hope that other people will want to talk about them.

How much of that is related to autism, I can never know.

Edit: Just had to say how much I relate to "it creeps me out" specifically. That's the feeling it gives me. I don't understand posing for other people's acceptance by flexing how much money you spend. I understand posing for attention in other ways, but not that.

How early were you able to retire? I'm very interested in FIRE and I'm trying to save and invest as much as possible to achieve that.

I finally retired last year before I turned 60.
I could have retired five years ago but wanted to ease into it so it wasn't a shock to the system.
I started learning to play golf a few years ago and now have a reasonably competent game.

I did a ton of travel in my 30s and 40s so I have no need to it again.
It is a good idea to learn about retirement before you get there.
Not everyone is cut out for playing golf or going on Caribbean cruises.

I've always been content with mediocre goals such as a modest but secure income (enough to pay the basic bills and a bit over for a few little luxuries) - though these days that's perhaps a lot to expect given the number of people who have it worse than that. As far as jobs were concerned, I was content with something fairly stress-free, stable and intellectually stimulating, with no cumbersome dress codes or other indignities. Regular hours, as short as possible, and guaranteed weekend, evenings and holidays, so that the work-life balance was skewed in favour of life. I've never really defined myself by my job.

As for living a "boring" life, I hate being bored and I'm rather prone to it, but I get fascinated by little things that many people might consider boring. I record and perform what I like to think is fairly high-quality music, and that's about the most immediately impressive and outrageously ambitious thing I do. But the many other little things I do, I apply stringent perfectionist standards of good workmanship and low cost. I like to apply my knowledge of science and technology to solving the mundane problems of life. I like to learn methods of doing things. I like applying critical, scientific, practical thinking to pretty much any question that happens to come to my attention.

i hate high society and expensive products as well, but i don't associate with living boring. i'm very serious about every inferior and mediocre thing i indulge in. having a car from 2006 is not only a better financial choice to me, it's a statement, it's a rejection of new things. it's not really boring

The world's richest man is an Aspie...

He has a lot of fancy toys and owns several companies.

One of which is actually called The Boring Company. Now I'm confused...

probably different for each individual (autistic or not) in other words "it depends" not an autism characteristic that can be assigned as such

I think that a lot of autistic people, including neurodivergent folk in general, often disregard social norms, possibly more so than NT's do and because of that, do not internalise societal ideals such as "get rich or die trying" and that kind of mindset.

Personally, I am content living a financially humble life.

Sure, winning the lotto would likely improve my life and freedom a lot, but most people don't have that luxury.

This is basically true for me. I've never been a fun-seeker, a thrill-seeker, or an adrenaline junky. I basically just want to be happy and have a low stress level. As for wealth, my father grew up poor and always drove a Mercedes Benz. I OTOH would never want to flaunt some expensive possession in public. Of course, in general, I don't want to attract a lot of attention, as when I was younger I attracted so much unwanted attention. I also refuse to be miserable about anything I can't have, such as grandchildren.

Flaunting wealth in public just seems like an easy way to be judged or envied (which can lead to people reading you wrong or theft).

I have wealthy family members who don't understand why they're treated more judgmentally than others when driving fancy cars or wearing designer clothing. It's very easy to be seen as stuck-up when flaunting wealth like that. I wouldn't personally describe them as "stuck-up", but at a glance, it makes perfect sense how that could be the first impression.

The very wealthy "old money" types lean more into "quiet luxury" so that they can brag to their old money peers while leaving the average person out of the loop on how much money they really have.

The only reason I understand "flexing" is when people come into new money. If you grew up impoverished and were struggling to meet your needs, it makes a lot of sense to flex to show to the community that you grew up with that you "made it", especially if you had no mental model for what wealth looked like before you came into it.

For anyone who had their needs and wants met while growing up, flexing seems very odd to me.

Yes, it does seem silly to tempt the forces of redistribution, legal or otherwise, and it seems odd that some wealthy people do. I deliberately hung onto an old bike, partly because I could leave it outside the shops with very little fear of it being stolen, because its resale value was zero. Since it broke down and I had to get a new "attractive" one, I worry when I leave it unattended (bike locks are no barrier to a competent thief, and the city is full of competent thieves).

I think flaunting wealth is part of the thrill for some people. If they can tantalise and demoralise us without losing anything, maybe that enhances the excitement for them, and the danger is part of it? And a lot of people admire the wealthy and powerful, so I guess it builds their status. It's typically right-wingers that buy into that. There's also this rich-by-proxy thing going on - I gather that when people see somebody like the Queen parading about in a gold carriage etc., psychologically many of them somehow feel wealthy themselves, even though they're never going to get their hands on her money.

When I was 32 I bought a home that was nice but not too big or fancy; as I got older I think more and more of my coworkers had places that were more valuable than mine. When I'd buy cars I'd buy them new but keep them 'til they were junk...my last manager complained that I should get a better car.

And she was still working when I retired at age 56...and she complained that I retired.

Being wealthy in terms of spirit makes it easier to disburse estates. They can donate to charity as they don't need more.
The poor tend to see everything as "theirs" even though it isn't their decision to make.
Which is why fights over estates are so nasty.

I've never experienced envy. Is it an aspie thing? I don't feel stuff like envy, shame or embarrassment. When other people have nice things I'm happy for them. My home is full of old junk and it doesn't bother any of us.

I think a lot of people are covering up their insecurities with stuff. I don't know if stuff make them happier or not. It feels like chasing an illusive idea, to build your self worth on other people's admiration or respect. The best way to feel good is to better yourself. Aspies might have an advantage on this as we're good at learning things, and not so dependent on relationships.