How do stop being conflicted with two mindsets ?

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chris1989
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24 Jan 2024, 4:03 pm

I know I've written a number of threads in which I've expressed my worries about having kids or not having kids but I'll use this as an example. It just feels like I'm in two mindsets, one says I ''should'' have kids because I ''have'' to in order to catch up and fit with other people the same age as me or younger and another is saying I don't want kids. I seem to feel as though I'm finding hard to make a decision and say to myself ''Yes I want them'' or ''No I don't want them''. It's harder because I'm still not currently in a relationship so it feels as though I can't make that decision.

I also seem to feel as though I want to avoid being that older person with no kids that some younger people might think is ''weird'' because I'm over a certain age, unmarried and don't have kids and instead have a pet at home. I know some work colleagues who are over 45, 50 and 60 who are unmarried and don't have kids and seem content as they are although I haven't asked what it was like for them. I also have three colleagues in their 30s, all of which are married and have kids. I know the one who is 50 told me she'd been in relationships which didn't last and for ten years she had to care for her granddad. I don't look at them and think they are ''weird'' but it still doesn't make me feel like wanting to be at their ages and be unmarried with no kids.



bee33
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27 Jan 2024, 6:09 am

You are comparing yourself to others instead of thinking about what is best for you.

The older you get, the less you care about what other people think, so I wouldn't worry about how you will feel about other people's opinions when you're old. You probably won't care very much.

Do what you want to do for yourself, not based on what other people might think.