Falling In Love
Mikurotoro92
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The lady who works for us Cathy said she was going to talk to her boss Raina about getting me on unsupervised dates through the program to help me get to my goal of marriage
It is 100% legit!
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"You have never experienced true love but that doesn't mean you won't EVER find it!" -SpongeBob SquarePants
As I understand it, day programs are for people whose disability prevents them from working. My son has a "service provider" that runs a day program, but he works afternoons 4 days a week at a food store, so he's not in that program. But if he didn't have a job, he most likely would be. As a consequence, I don't know much about what goes on there.
It may also be a form of "respite day care".
Day programs aren’t all the same. I know people with diverse needs who go to them. Some have part-time jobs. Some only go to the program 3 days a week. In my current town, there are 3 different day programs that I’m aware of. There’s one for profound mental disabilities in which people learn basic life skills, there’s one for people with significant psychological disorders where they spend their days doing therapeutic activities, and there’s one for people with diverse disabilities in which they can come and go as they please. Its primary purpose is to get them out of the house and to socialize in a safe, supportive environment. There’s another program in which people spend half the day learning skills and the other half working a part-time job. I suppose it’s something you could graduate out of, but the people in the program seem to have such significant disabilities they typically don’t.
In my hometown, I was very briefly in a day program right after I experienced my initial trauma many years ago. I qualified on account of acute PTSD. I didn’t stay in the program for very long because it wasn’t a good fit for me. No one else had my particular problems. I don’t remember that much about it to be honest. It was not a good time in my life. If I could do it over again, I would’ve gotten involved in the support groups for survivors in the YWCA instead.
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Mikurotoro92
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I was in a day program, never thought that was a day program. When I was a child, my mom wanted me to socialize, I was in a program, I forgot what name of the program, I remember I wore an uniform. I also took classes in the community. I also went to a workshop, I took classes to learn things & also do work, there were outhings, like field trips everyweek. I met my first boyfriend there, we never dated, we went to different places with a group outing. I was in an art gallery workshop, I was in a dance program, I performed onstage too, one of my performance, I performed for 300 people, it was the first time I fitted in, I was a part of something.
Mikurotoro92
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What I have experienced; no I don't feel you can fall in love on line. Until you actually know how you will handle disagreements; how you will deal with each other's different habits; how you both feel about child rearing, etc. A relationship is hard work and you can only get an idealized version on line
Last edited by Aspinator on 21 Feb 2024, 11:50 am, edited 2 times in total.
Mikurotoro92
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Mikurotoro92
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I’d strongly recommend getting to know them before going to their house or a hotel.
Well the "first dates" are facilitated by Community Compass Day Program
Then eventually I should be able to go to their houses or a hotel
If they have some way to facilitate first dates, I suggest you act according to their policies. But I hope you aren't telling people connected with that program that you're actively considering the possibility of having sex with one of the male participants. That could get probably get you banned from the program. I don't know that for a fact, but if I were personally connected in any way with that program, and a female participant went to a hotel with a male participant expressly to have sex with him, and it was suspected that I knew of this and hadn't take action to stop if from happening, I could be in legal trouble.
Don't get me wrong. I would be very happy for you to experience sex with a man. Personally, I don't think that being disabled necessarily "disqualifies" you from having sex. My family is involved with Special Olympics. I know of a couple in SO who were using the Family Restroom at the mall to have sex. I honestly don't know if what they were doing was wrong, but the general opinion was that they had to be stopped. IIRC, the woman's family convinced her that the guy was a jerk and so she wouldn't have sex with him any more.
Even so, the two people in the story I just told had known each other some time and were definitely in love. In your case, I wouldn't necessarily insist that you be in love with somebody before having sex with him, but I would take the process slowly and follow whatever guidance the people running the Day Program can offer.
Unfortunately, community standards don't AFAIK support counselling people in this situation on how to proceed if they've decided to have sex with each other. I believe the usual approach is to simply prevent if from happening. I'm not judging at all, I'm just saying I think this is what most people think is right.
Please please enjoy yourself, but stay out of trouble you don't need!
They really don't care what we do outside of the program
If Jonathan or Jesse or whatever decides to have sex with me the Day Program people can't stop it!
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"You have never experienced true love but that doesn't mean you won't EVER find it!" -SpongeBob SquarePants
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