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climategeek
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31 Jan 2024, 6:26 pm

I am now 32 years old and foremost my entire life I have never been in a relationship. Last year I got into a brief relationship with someone who had numerous mental health issues.

I was aware of their issues, and I was totally fine with dating them as I was so desperate to finally get into a relationship.

I’ve been on over five different dating sites. And as soon a match would find out that I’m autistic without giving me any reason or explanation, would just block me.

Because of this, I’ve continually lowered my standards. Initially, I was looking for people like myself, who were college educated, both on spectrum and Neurotypicals

But I found it increasingly difficult to match with people, or even get past the first step of just communicating as I would almost immediately get blocked, despite being very socially despite being very socially, appropriate and polite.

Back in 2015 a girl asked me out on a date which ended up being a prank. To the girls shock after she revealed that she never really had feelings for me, and was just pretending, I told her this whole time I was expecting this and I even showed her a Facebook message that I sent to myself on messenger predicting that very outcome and I also told her this is exactly why I’m probably never going to be in a relationship And that if I ever will, it will be after I turn 30 and it will be a very toxic and unstable relationship, and it will end only after a few months. This prediction came through exactly like how I predicted it and so far my life I’ve been only in one relationship and I got into that relationship just before my 32nd birthday. It only lasted a couple months , and that girl that I was in a relationship with me so much emotional turmoil and problems just as I predicted all the way back in 2015.

I’ve recently turned to love on the spectrum in the hopes that they could find me my ideal partner, because I’ve been tired of waiting, and I am sure that if I decide to let Faith play out, I probably will be single until the day I die without ever finding my true love



Jermaine
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03 Feb 2024, 9:58 am

Same.

I'm 31, only been in one relationship with a girl who also had numerous mental health issues and was probably on the spectrum (no DX), which isn't a problem at all because i'm not looking for an NT. That was 5 years ago.

I will never lower my standards. College educated isn't really a standard though and you'll likely end up throwing it out the more you meet college educated women and compare them to non-college educated women. There's really no difference.

Quote:
I’ve been on over five different dating sites. And as soon a match would find out that I’m autistic without giving me any reason or explanation, would just block me.


Absolutely no reason to be telling a match you're autistic (different), same as there's no reason she needs to know if you still live with your parents (they live with you), don't have a job (self employed) or just got out of jail (nomad), although; those three are cat-nip for some women-It doesn't benefit the potential of the relationship no matter how serious of a topic.


Quote:
But I found it increasingly difficult to match with people, or even get past the first step of just communicating as I would almost immediately get blocked, despite being very socially despite being very socially, appropriate and polite.


It's a warped system with very few rules. It doesn't matter how sociable or polite you are. Same with regular people, all that matters are the bass notes. Women will interpret being insociable and impolite as masculine traits even though they have nothing to do with securing a good long term partner. If you're a funny guy you could be a complete jerk, if you're good looking, you could be everything women say they hate in a man, and they'll still be fawning over you. It's opposite day, every day.

Quote:
Back in 2015 a girl asked me out on a date which ended up being a prank. To the girls shock after she revealed that she never really had feelings for me, and was just pretending, I told her this whole time I was expecting this and I even showed her a Facebook message that I sent to myself on messenger predicting that very outcome and I also told her this is exactly why I’m probably never going to be in a relationship And that if I ever will, it will be after I turn 30 and it will be a very toxic and unstable relationship, and it will end only after a few months.


I used to do this, still as psychic as ever. Even just two months ago, I thought I had found "the one"... again. lol. I waited for the signals before shutting it down and calling her out, broke a record-took a week and a half this time. I don't miss.

I used to wonder what in god's name could posses someone to throw away such a high level of compatibility with a random person they'll meet only a handful of times in a lifetime. It wasn't until I started seeing it as a virus that I realized what I was dealing with.

That girl from two months ago was honestly difficult to pin down because the messages were very mixed, for example; she wasn't interested in spending time with me, but extremely interested in me when we did. I advise you to remember that is no such thing as mixed signals, only negative signals pretending to be positive signals. Compatibility with her was through the roof, so I thought she would at least try to offer an explanation when I went through my concerns with her-not even a tiny bit. She just disappeared, probably to one of the 289 other guys she's working on building her portfolio with.

You can only feel sorry for people like that, they'll never land, always chasing the next, and the next, until they hit a hard limit, then will curse all men for never forcing her to stop, she's responsible for her own life.

Don't get too invested until you confirm she's legit (very rare these days).
You're a man, you have a lot of time
Beat the game and win. I certainly plan to.

Sent you a PM


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Last edited by Cornflake on 04 Feb 2024, 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.: Removed misogynistic commentary.

Nades
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03 Feb 2024, 10:32 am

How did you go about telling women on dating sites that you were autistic?



honeytoast
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03 Feb 2024, 1:39 pm

I feel like there has to be more of a reason why you were getting blocked right off the bat.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Feb 2024, 1:55 pm

It is impossible to tell without seeing the actual interactions.



Esme
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07 Feb 2024, 10:58 pm

Jermaine wrote:
I used to wonder what in god's name could posses someone to throw away such a high level of compatibility with a random person they'll meet only a handful of times in a lifetime.


Maybe she didn't consider you compatible? She might have ticked all of your boxes, but perhaps you didn't tick hers? You never really know unless someone clearly states what they are after. And most people either don't actually know what they want or there are hidden things they need but won't admit upfront on dates.



rse92
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08 Feb 2024, 10:39 am

Jermaine wrote:
Same.

I'm 31, only been in one relationship with a girl who also had numerous mental health issues and was probably on the spectrum (no DX), which isn't a problem at all because i'm not looking for an NT. That was 5 years ago.

I will never lower my standards. College educated isn't really a standard though and you'll likely end up throwing it out the more you meet college educated women and compare them to non-college educated women. There's really no difference.

[/size]


Guys who say "I will never lower my standards" are often the same guys who women will look at and say, "i'd never lower my standards."



autisticelders
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11 Feb 2024, 8:33 am

apps are more likely to be wasted time and frustration. More trolls and fakes than real people.

Try finding and following local or on line groups which support your strongest enthusiasms and interests .
Join groups or activities that have real live people in them.

You may meet other like minded individuals through group activities surrounding your interests, and you will already have the interest in common as a starting point.


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Minervx_2
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26 Feb 2024, 9:23 am

climategeek wrote:
But I found it increasingly difficult to match with people, or even get past the first step of just communicating as I would almost immediately get blocked


We need context.

Are you using sites/apps with large enough population? (And do you live in an area with a decently sized population?)
What's your bio?
What kinds of opening messages do you send to people?

What kinds of pictures are you using? The pictures are the most consequential part of any app. Are you taking hundreds of photos to pick the best few? Are you getting your photos reviewed by friends, family, or sites like Photofeeler?