Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual?

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Well, we are more likely than NTs to identify with LGBTQ identities, which asexuality is one.

My general impression is that autistic people are more likely to be asexual, and those who are tend to believe that their asexuality is related to their autism. Just my impression, I have no studies to corroborate this.

I wonder how long the OP dated this woman and if she gave a reason as to why she didn’t want to have sex. It can take a while for a person to feel ready, especially if it’s their first time or if they’ve had negative experiences in the past. It can also depend on the specific relationship. Maybe she didn’t feel safe for whatever reason. There are lots of possibilities. It seems to be jumping the gun a bit to assume she’s asexual.

If I felt like someone was pushing me before I was ready or if they were displaying any anger, frustration, or impatience, it’d make me even less eager to have sex with them.

I have another take on this. So it seems these two were formally in a relationship i.e. she wasn't really in a relationship with somebody else she was unable to be with (I am saying this because I was once in a situation like that, but at age 19). That assumption being true, given that these two are both also autistic, the real problem might be that they never developed a degree of mutual trust in which they could really communicate about this issue.

In one's mid-30s, one should be able to discuss such things. If she was seriously interested in a permanent commitment (I don't think this was revealed here) then she should be able to communicate such things with her partner, in other words she should be able to give some reason why she seems attracted to him but can't or doesn't want to be physically intimate (even saying she doesn't understand this herself would be an explanation).

From some experience, I think it possible for people on the autism spectrum to think they're in a serious relationship, but lack the ability to communicate at the level usually expected for people in that situation.

^^^I may be wrong about this but I think that this may of been her first relationship or first somewhat serious one. Thus she did not have the experience nor insight about herself to understand & explain what was going on. She was telling him that she needed more time to be ready for sex & she eventually would but but not giving an estimate about when that time would come. The OP did not want to risk continuing to date her for a long time only to realize years later possibly after getting married that she would never be ready for sex with him. BTW I think simply saying "I'm not ready" with no other real details when the couple has been dating a while is something I would expect from an inexperienced teenager. Us autistics are stereotyped to be immature & behind our NT peers with lots of things but judging from what I've seen on this forum, lots of autistic womem have a bit of sexual experience & would like or at least not mind having sex within a serious relationship assuming the guy tried to treat her with respect. My 2nd girlfriend was also on the spectrum & she was a virgin but was very willing to have sex once our relationship got a tad serious if her parents woulda been OK with us being alone together unmartied. Her parents were very traditional & wanted our relationship on their terms.