How to be angry

Post Reply New Topic

I paid one of my paramedicals $680 by etransfer last Wednesday, for four hours of service.
This is a fee that I can submit to insurance for full reimbursement.
Normally I pay by cc, but this time it had to be etransfer.

When she sent the invoice she said she would issue me a receipt after I paid.
I transferred the money and reminded her I'd need a receipt.
No reply.
No receipt.

By weekend I was getting annoyed but didn't want to email her out of business hours.
Weirdly, she emailed me Sunday night asking how I was doing.
I saw that on Monday and wrote back.
I reminded her a second time I needed my receipt.

No reply.

I wrote again on Tuesday.
I said "my email is funky and sometimes I don't receive things".
I asked if I'd missed her emailed receipt somehow.

No reply.

I know she's legit and I like her, but I'm getting chuffed.
I wouldn't mind if it were on my credit card.
This is etransfer.
It's cash.
I can't pay my bills without it.

After I get the receipt, insurance will take another week to reimburse me.

I don't know how to speak up and demand my stupid receipt.
I can't call her office because she was working from home privately.

How long is it reasonable for me to wait?
I'm scared I'm going to snap and make a fool of myself.

In short, how do I be angry in a mature way?
I have no idea how to deal with conflict.

Give your insurance her number explaining the situation?

Get on the phone with her and ask. Just as you would have had to in the old days. When she says she will send it, get her to commit: will you get this to me tomorrow?

There doesn't have to be conflict. Just a conversation between two adults. You want and need the receipt. This way you get it without her being embarrassed, or her feeling like you embarrassed her.

Maybe to kindly explain to her, once again, why do you need it and give her a deadline to send you back receipt and also inform her that if she doesn't that you will have no choice but to make further steps.

Maybe not explaning in details what further steps mean so it doesn't seem like you are threatening. But you probably have some legal ways, some third parties to help you obtain your rights. And she will get the hint I guess. And will be probably wanting to avoid them.

Honestly, I don't know if this is good idea, this what I would do in my country.

I don't see what the problem with her giving you the receipt is anyway

That's an option, but I'm afraid it might seem too aggressive.
I've known her four years and I want to maintain a friendly relationship.
She's already been doing me a favour by seeing me at night, from home.
Her office hours didn't work with my schedule.

The thing is, I don't do telephones because of my mutism. I'd be terrified to make a phone call and then I'd stumble over my words. I'm always better in writing because I can edit before I send it, and I don't have to worry about the tone of my voice etc. I also hate phone calls in case it goes to voice mail. I've never left a voicemail for anyone in my life.

I know a phone call is the normal thing to do, but I guess you could say I'm not normal.




I agree. I'm just not sure how to bring it up again on email without seeming like I'm pestering her, even though it would be justified. I think the issue is that she has to format how to make formal receipts when working from home. Normally I pay the company she works for, by credit card. Those receipts are autogenerated so now she'll have to format something professional for her private work.

I just don't know how to be assertive. That's a better word than angry. My mortgage payment will bounce if I don't get this thing soon, though.

An exclamation at the end of a message can get the tone across such as:

"I don't want to be rude, but I really do need this receipt I have been asking for!"

My backup plan is to send my insurance a copy of the invoice with all her info on it along with the email timestamp, and attach a screenshot of my etransfer receipt showing that I paid that amount to her name within five minutes of receiving the invoice.

This is such an annoyance.

I hate trying to be so nice and friendly all the time, when I don't know how to self-advocate.

Same.
I already said she could send the exact same invoice that I got before, and just add the word PAID on the bottom.
It doesn't seem like rocket science.

I'd do it myself but of course that's fraud.

I might text her instead of sending another email.
That's a good bridge between phone calls and emails, right?


Also I could be a bit more informal like this:

I get what you mean. I was only thinking that you still give her a chance, in a nice but firm way, to give you back the receipt, without things escalating to a conflict.

Can you pay her a visit and insist to talk to her in person? Just telling her honestly that what's she doing is really not fair and that you are really upset.

Sorry, I don't know if this was wise, hope you get more suggestions from other members.

Also hope she changes her minds and just send it back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you for your help. ^ I'm sure I could pay her a visit but tbh I don't even know where her office is. We always meet on Zoom. Of course I could find the address on her Invoice, but I've never been there in person and it would be really awkward to just show up when I don't even know her working hours. She actually works at three different offices even though I used to just connect with her through one of them, prior to her working from home.

Given my own refusal to make a phone call I suppose all I can do is send a text or yet another email. That's the chance I'll have to take. This is so unlike her, I almost wonder if some kind of emergency is keeping her out of contact.

I get it, but so far everything you have sent her in writing she has ignored. As much as you may hate it, if you are not going to call her you need to go to her office and ask. Ask her administrative assistant if she is not her. Tell the admin your sob story.

Hey rse - I have a question for you on another matter.

Do you know how sliding scale pricing works for professionals?

If you give someone a big discount on a sliding scale, do you as the service provider lose money out of pocket or is it reimbursed to you somehow through the government or some other kind of thing?

Thanks - I guess you're right.
I'll text or email again and if I don't hear back by tomorrow I'll have to get off my arse.