Victim-Blaming

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I think something my mom has done to me often that counts as victim blaming is comparing me to a meth head or a crackhead just because I'm overweight with health problems like diabetes and I have a hard time sticking to a healthy diet.

P.S. I'm not and never have been a drug addict and being compared to one by my own mother who is basically fat shaming me at the same time is about as insulting as it gets.

Yeah that's not fair

To be honest I have no choice but to ignore her when she says things like that to me. As they say "Don't bite the hand that feeds you."

Still it really hurts my feelings though...

That would hurt my feelings too. I’ve experienced fat-shaming before, and it wasn’t cool.

My stepmother used to like to call me a particularly racist and offensive word beginning with P when I was a kid.

I mean I think I sort of dismissed it for the most part because she is actually a f*****g idiot, shameless racist and a child abuser but it did kind of linger at the back of my mind

Also if I'd have said anything back to her for this then all hell would have broke loose with her and it would have been my fault (according to her) so I just had to let her say what she wanted to say to me and I would just deal with that in the best way I could.

It's called self preservation I think and maybe that's what blitzkrieg meant

Unfortunately, victim-blaming is extremely common, and not just among religious people.

Even among nonreligious people, there seems to be a lot of hatred of homeless people, for example.

Within American culture, there has historically been a strong tendency to believe that anyone can accomplish almost anything they want if only they try hard enough. Therefore, it is commonly believed that if anything in your life isn't going right, it's because you didn't try hard enough.

Back in the 1970's, there was something called "Erhard Seminars Training," which had slogans like "You create your own reality" and "You, and only you, are responsible for everything that happened to you." A lot of other New Agey people embraced these ideas too, which are part of the tradition of the "New Thought" movement. In today's world, similar ideas are promoted in books like "The Law of Attraction."

A few examples:

1. At my last synagogue, where things were incredibly toxic, I would end up getting upset with that group. They would blame the victim
A. By reminding me that I have autism
"Well, you have autism and XYZ" . Oh that makes my blood boil just talking about it

2. I had a former employer call me up out of the blue making false promises to hire me back. However, he gave me the runaround. When I confronted him, it was "I know you are frustrated but this is a bad email that I and my associate didn't need to see."

3. I used to associate with this toxic friend who seemed to enjoy pushing my buttons.
A. When I fought back it was "You're the one with the problem, you need to apologize."