I got invited to Jonathan's apartment!! !
https://calmatters.org/health/2024/01/vasectomy-birth-control-new-california-laws-2024/#:~:text=Californians%20covered%20by%20Medi%2DCal,%2Dthe%2Dcounter%20birth%20control.
If she insists on this rule, then she won't have to deal with birth control pills (HBC) which could have a number of serious side effects such as weight gain and depression.
Sterilising oneself has very serious (and obvious) consequences.
Perhaps the most unsexy thing a woman can ever recommend is a vasectomy as a requirement for losing her virginity.
No offence Max, but I would think such a woman is batshit crazy and I would run a mile.
Condoms, implants or a coil are much better alternatives.
Seriously, I suppose I've been out of the game for a while, but what are the side effects of a vasectomy apart from not having kids?
https://calmatters.org/health/2024/01/vasectomy-birth-control-new-california-laws-2024/#:~:text=Californians%20covered%20by%20Medi%2DCal,%2Dthe%2Dcounter%20birth%20control.
If she insists on this rule, then she won't have to deal with birth control pills (HBC) which could have a number of serious side effects such as weight gain and depression.
Sterilising oneself has very serious (and obvious) consequences.
Perhaps the most unsexy thing a woman can ever recommend is a vasectomy as a requirement for losing her virginity.
No offence Max, but I would think such a woman is batshit crazy and I would run a mile.
Condoms, implants or a coil are much better alternatives.
Seriously, I suppose I've been out of the game for a while, but what are the side effects of a vasectomy apart from not having kids?
It's regarded as permanent so not to be taken lightly if still young.
It seems like pointless self-mutilation for the sake of making someone feel happier to have sex. If someone feels strongly enough that sterilisation of potential partners is the best option before any sex can take place then they shouldn't be having sex.
*Not that OP actually thinks this*
Last edited by Nades on 01 Mar 2024, 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
nick007
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Nothing wrong with wanting to get to know him better, just can be better not to jump into sex too quick, but also what do you mean your brother refuses to let you leave? like in a lot of places it is not legal to imprison somone but I don't know where you are from.
I am from California
He does not want me to leave because he is scared of being alone
If this is the case then what will happen?
Does he literally shout at you when you try to leave the house?
Yes
I want a relationship and sex and my brother won't allow it!! !
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It'll probably benefit everyone if she sets clear boundaries. From what she's said, it sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Her brother has only ever known a life with constant support around him 24/7 and hasn't been able to spread his wings even a crack yet because he's never needed to.
He can survive an occasional night with no problem and it'll do everyone a lot of good in the long run. Autistics have a tendency become dependant on people for situations that rarely require support.
I agree with everyone who has said that a dude shouldn't feel pressured into a vasectomy just to experience sex with a partner. That seems extreme to say the least.
It there were a male birth control pill widely available, that would be more reasonable. Temporarily suppressing one's reproductive potential seems more reasonable than permanent sterilization which might not be able to be reversed should circumstances necessitate that.
https://calmatters.org/health/2024/01/vasectomy-birth-control-new-california-laws-2024/#:~:text=Californians%20covered%20by%20Medi%2DCal,%2Dthe%2Dcounter%20birth%20control.
If she insists on this rule, then she won't have to deal with birth control pills (HBC) which could have a number of serious side effects such as weight gain and depression.
Some women can’t even have implants or IUDs. They are certainly worth trying before exploring other options. My hormonal IUD works well for me. The recovery time for getting tubes tied is longer than for a vasectomy because the procedure is more invasive although, if a person absolutely doesn’t want children and might have more than one partner, it might be a good idea.
Insisting that someone get a vasectomy would be WAY out of line from a consent perspective. We should all make choices like that regarding our own bodies without pressure/coercion. Insisting that he use a condom would be a better idea. Condoms aren’t medical procedures.
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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Mar 2024, 9:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
https://calmatters.org/health/2024/01/vasectomy-birth-control-new-california-laws-2024/#:~:text=Californians%20covered%20by%20Medi%2DCal,%2Dthe%2Dcounter%20birth%20control.
If she insists on this rule, then she won't have to deal with birth control pills (HBC) which could have a number of serious side effects such as weight gain and depression.
I mean this nicely, but that is incredibly extreme just to have sex for the first time. Just use a condom or get on birth control.
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Insisting that someone get a vasectomy would be WAY out of line from a consent perspective. We should all make choices like that regarding our own bodies without pressure/coercion. Insisting that he use a condom would be a better idea. Condoms aren’t irreversible medical procedures.
I would see requirements like sterilisation as a license to lie and cheat at every opportunity.
Insisting that someone get a vasectomy would be WAY out of line from a consent perspective. We should all make choices like that regarding our own bodies without pressure/coercion. Insisting that he use a condom would be a better idea. Condoms aren’t irreversible medical procedures.
I would see requirements like sterilisation as a license to lie and cheat at every opportunity.
IMO, a person should just leave someone like that because they’d likely engage in other sh***y behavior.
_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
Insisting that someone get a vasectomy would be WAY out of line from a consent perspective. We should all make choices like that regarding our own bodies without pressure/coercion. Insisting that he use a condom would be a better idea. Condoms aren’t irreversible medical procedures.
I would see requirements like sterilisation as a license to lie and cheat at every opportunity.
IMO, a person should just leave someone like that because they’d likely engage in other sh***y behavior.
Certainly that too. Any good personality traits a person like that had would just be replaced by mobile orifices on legs if she floats this wheeze and thinks it's acceptable.
This is what I would think anyway. I would just get as much fun as I could and walk off. I've done it in the past and would do it again.
Mikurotoro92
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I don't think he needs a vasectomy and he might even already have one
I feel if we become boyfriend and girlfriend and I spend the night at his house THAT is when sex or making out will finally happen!! !
I just need to get to that point...
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https://calmatters.org/health/2024/01/vasectomy-birth-control-new-california-laws-2024/#:~:text=Californians%20covered%20by%20Medi%2DCal,%2Dthe%2Dcounter%20birth%20control.
If she insists on this rule, then she won't have to deal with birth control pills (HBC) which could have a number of serious side effects such as weight gain and depression.
Some women can’t even have implants or IUDs. They are certainly worth trying before exploring other options. My hormonal IUD works well for me. The recovery time for getting tubes tied is longer than for a vasectomy because the procedure is more invasive although, if a person absolutely doesn’t want children and might have more than one partner, it might be a good idea.
Insisting that someone get a vasectomy would be WAY out of line from a consent perspective. We should all make choices like that regarding our own bodies without pressure/coercion. Insisting that he use a condom would be a better idea. Condoms aren’t medical procedures.
I don't see how consent comes into this. Although she won't, she has a perfect right to insist a guy must have a vasectomy if he wants sex. If he doesn't want to do that, then he doesn't have sex with her. As has been said hundreds of times on this forum, nobody is entitled to have sex. Nobody is in a position to force anybody to do anything without their consent.
No one has the right to insist that someone else get sterilized.
Medical procedures like that need to be determined by the individual without undue influence, pressure, or ultimatums. Otherwise, it would be similar to insisting/pressuring (i.e. coercing) someone to have sex. Consent is important when it comes to medical decisions and sex. No one should be insisting that anyone make permanent changes like that to their body. Our bodies are our own. What we choose to do with them is up to us, not someone else.
It’s okay for couples to discuss sterilization but absolutely no insisting or pressure should be involved. It’s crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed.
If a guy insisted that I get my tubes tied, I’d break up with him. My body is my own. It’s the same thing with men.
Reproductive coercion is a form of IPV.
https://canadianwomen.org/blog/reproduc ... o-stop-it/
People can choose not to have sex with someone for whatever reason, but they shouldn’t be pressuring others in any way regarding sex or medical procedures because it inhibits consent.
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I stand behind my position that, in the given situation, it's perfectly reasonable for the OP to insist that a male partner have had a vasectomy before she'll allow him to penetrate her. As she hasn't given any clear indication of being in love with him (or the other guy she also mentions as a potential sex partner) I could say that some people might disagree with my feeling that, in theory, I would have no quarrel with her engaging with either gentleman in some other sort of sexual encounter, but vaginal penetration takes things to another level and under these circumstances vasectomy is the safest option for all parties. I'll admit that I don't think any of those involved will ever want to raise children, and I could be wrong, but that would seem the only downside. It's not coercion because at no point would the gentleman feel forced into doing that. It would be his choice, the only thing is that if he doesn't, he won't be engaging in PIV with the OP (which is still highly theoretical for now anyway).
I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.
Mikurotoro92
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Age: 31
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Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom
I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.
I am scared of penetration though
I heard it hurts the first time!
As for loving Jonathan or Jesse I am not quite there yet but I could eventually develop feelings for one of them once I get to know them better!
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Coercion doesn’t involve force. Insisting, pressuring, etc. are coercive tactics. Sometimes people threaten to leave a spouse if they don’t have sex with them. It’s pretty similar. Once again, it’s okay to talk about vasectomies in the context of a relationship, but there should be no insisting involved.
A person can choose not to have sex with someone if they haven’t been sterilized. It would be really strange, but that would be their choice. At no point, should anyone insist that someone undergo a medical procedure solely to have sex with him or her. It’s creepy and coercive for reasons I’ve already stated. With sex or medical procedures, absolutely no pressure should be involved. The only insisting that would make sense in the current scenario or any scenario like this is that partners wear condoms.
Even from a common sense standpoint, it would be bizarre to pressure someone, especially someone one hasn’t even slept with, to get sterilized. Given the limited amount of information we have, it’s impossible to know for sure that the man would never want children with a different partner, and in rare cases, there are other potential risks to consider or he could simply not want to. A man would have to be extremely desperate for sex not to run for the hills after such a demand.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 02 Mar 2024, 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.