I got invited to Jonathan's apartment!! !

Post Reply New Topic

I agree with everyone who has said that a dude shouldn't feel pressured into a vasectomy just to experience sex with a partner. That seems extreme to say the least.

It there were a male birth control pill widely available, that would be more reasonable. Temporarily suppressing one's reproductive potential seems more reasonable than permanent sterilization which might not be able to be reversed should circumstances necessitate that.

I don't think he needs a vasectomy and he might even already have one

I feel if we become boyfriend and girlfriend and I spend the night at his house THAT is when sex or making out will finally happen!! !

I just need to get to that point...

No one has the right to insist that someone else get sterilized.

Medical procedures like that need to be determined by the individual without undue influence, pressure, or ultimatums. Otherwise, it would be similar to insisting/pressuring (i.e. coercing) someone to have sex. Consent is important when it comes to medical decisions and sex. No one should be insisting that anyone make permanent changes like that to their body. Our bodies are our own. What we choose to do with them is up to us, not someone else.

It’s okay for couples to discuss sterilization but absolutely no insisting or pressure should be involved. It’s crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

If a guy insisted that I get my tubes tied, I’d break up with him. My body is my own. It’s the same thing with men.

Reproductive coercion is a form of IPV.

I stand behind my position that, in the given situation, it's perfectly reasonable for the OP to insist that a male partner have had a vasectomy before she'll allow him to penetrate her. As she hasn't given any clear indication of being in love with him (or the other guy she also mentions as a potential sex partner) I could say that some people might disagree with my feeling that, in theory, I would have no quarrel with her engaging with either gentleman in some other sort of sexual encounter, but vaginal penetration takes things to another level and under these circumstances vasectomy is the safest option for all parties. I'll admit that I don't think any of those involved will ever want to raise children, and I could be wrong, but that would seem the only downside. It's not coercion because at no point would the gentleman feel forced into doing that. It would be his choice, the only thing is that if he doesn't, he won't be engaging in PIV with the OP (which is still highly theoretical for now anyway).

I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.

Coercion doesn’t involve force. Insisting, pressuring, etc. are coercive tactics. Sometimes people threaten to leave a spouse if they don’t have sex with them. It’s pretty similar. Once again, it’s okay to talk about vasectomies in the context of a relationship, but there should be no insisting involved.

A person can choose not to have sex with someone if they haven’t been sterilized. It would be really strange, but that would be their choice. At no point, should anyone insist that someone undergo a medical procedure solely to have sex with him or her. It’s creepy and coercive for reasons I’ve already stated. With sex or medical procedures, absolutely no pressure should be involved. The only insisting that would make sense in the current scenario or any scenario like this is that partners wear condoms.

Even from a common sense standpoint, it would be bizarre to pressure someone, especially someone one hasn’t even slept with, to get sterilized. Given the limited amount of information we have, it’s impossible to know for sure that the man would never want children with a different partner, and in rare cases, there are other potential risks to consider or he could simply not want to. A man would have to be extremely desperate for sex not to run for the hills after such a demand.