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I got invited to Jonathan's apartment!! !

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MaxE
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02 Mar 2024, 2:11 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I stand behind my position that, in the given situation, it's perfectly reasonable for the OP to insist that a male partner have had a vasectomy before she'll allow him to penetrate her. As she hasn't given any clear indication of being in love with him (or the other guy she also mentions as a potential sex partner) I could say that some people might disagree with my feeling that, in theory, I would have no quarrel with her engaging with either gentleman in some other sort of sexual encounter, but vaginal penetration takes things to another level and under these circumstances vasectomy is the safest option for all parties. I'll admit that I don't think any of those involved will ever want to raise children, and I could be wrong, but that would seem the only downside. It's not coercion because at no point would the gentleman feel forced into doing that. It would be his choice, the only thing is that if he doesn't, he won't be engaging in PIV with the OP (which is still highly theoretical for now anyway).

I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.


I am scared of penetration though

I heard it hurts the first time!

As for loving Jonathan or Jesse I am not quite there yet but I could eventually develop feelings for one of them once I get to know them better!

Well so far as Jonathan or Jesse are concerned, can we assume that dealing with vaginal penetration will probably have to wait until you have developed feelings?

For the record, it doesn't have to hurt. That's not a reason not to do it. You may have a great many other much bigger reasons for not doing it, at least not for the moment. As to why it needn't hurt, there is a lot of educational material on the web or even YouTube you can consult to learn more.


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02 Mar 2024, 2:13 pm

Take things slow and easy.


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TwilightPrincess
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02 Mar 2024, 2:20 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I stand behind my position that, in the given situation, it's perfectly reasonable for the OP to insist that a male partner have had a vasectomy before she'll allow him to penetrate her. As she hasn't given any clear indication of being in love with him (or the other guy she also mentions as a potential sex partner) I could say that some people might disagree with my feeling that, in theory, I would have no quarrel with her engaging with either gentleman in some other sort of sexual encounter, but vaginal penetration takes things to another level and under these circumstances vasectomy is the safest option for all parties. I'll admit that I don't think any of those involved will ever want to raise children, and I could be wrong, but that would seem the only downside. It's not coercion because at no point would the gentleman feel forced into doing that. It would be his choice, the only thing is that if he doesn't, he won't be engaging in PIV with the OP (which is still highly theoretical for now anyway).

I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.

I am scared of penetration though

I heard it hurts the first time!

As for loving Jonathan or Jesse I am not quite there yet but I could eventually develop feelings for one of them once I get to know them better!

Penetration (first-time or otherwise) doesn’t have to involve a partner. It’s something a person could explore on their own if they wanted to. I’d go that route if I could do things over again. In any case, don’t do it until you really want to. Also, you can say to stop or slowdown if you don’t like something.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 02 Mar 2024, 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 2:28 pm

MaxE wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
I stand behind my position that, in the given situation, it's perfectly reasonable for the OP to insist that a male partner have had a vasectomy before she'll allow him to penetrate her. As she hasn't given any clear indication of being in love with him (or the other guy she also mentions as a potential sex partner) I could say that some people might disagree with my feeling that, in theory, I would have no quarrel with her engaging with either gentleman in some other sort of sexual encounter, but vaginal penetration takes things to another level and under these circumstances vasectomy is the safest option for all parties. I'll admit that I don't think any of those involved will ever want to raise children, and I could be wrong, but that would seem the only downside. It's not coercion because at no point would the gentleman feel forced into doing that. It would be his choice, the only thing is that if he doesn't, he won't be engaging in PIV with the OP (which is still highly theoretical for now anyway).

I read the article to which you linked in its entirety, and I don't think that article supports your argument. I won't go into why because I don't want to argue. You may disagree with me, but I think my point of view is reasonable, so I'll disagree with you.


I am scared of penetration though

I heard it hurts the first time!

As for loving Jonathan or Jesse I am not quite there yet but I could eventually develop feelings for one of them once I get to know them better!

Well so far as Jonathan or Jesse are concerned, can we assume that dealing with vaginal penetration will probably have to wait until you have developed feelings?

For the record, it doesn't have to hurt. That's not a reason not to do it. You may have a great many other much bigger reasons for not doing it, at least not for the moment. As to why it needn't hurt, there is a lot of educational material on the web or even YouTube you can consult to learn more.


That is correct

I need to develop feelings first!

The other reason I am hesitant to do penetration of course is fear of pregnancy

However, I feel that by not doing PIV penetration I'm missing out on a BIG part of the sex experience!! !


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Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 2:42 pm

Therefore my primary focus right now should be to start dating and if one of them becomes my boyfriend THEN it is time to start thinking about sex!

EDIT: How effective is the "pull-out method" when it comes to penetration?


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funeralxempire
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02 Mar 2024, 3:41 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Therefore my primary focus right now should be to start dating and if one of them becomes my boyfriend THEN it is time to start thinking about sex!

EDIT: How effective is the "pull-out method" when it comes to penetration?


For birth control? Not particularly.


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MaxE
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02 Mar 2024, 3:48 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Therefore my primary focus right now should be to start dating and if one of them becomes my boyfriend THEN it is time to start thinking about sex!

EDIT: How effective is the "pull-out method" when it comes to penetration?


For birth control? Not particularly.

I wouldn't fool with that.

I'll repeat what I said before. If you should ever decide you're definitely going to have penetrative sex with a guy, and your relationship with him is good enough that you can have the discussion, then you should discuss vasectomy. As far as preventing pregnancy is concerned, it's the most effective and least risky approach. Of course, if the guy has some reason to think he'll want to have kids someday, he won't be able to do it.


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02 Mar 2024, 3:53 pm

Having a discussion about a vasectomy in the context of a relationship is okay. Insisting upon one is not.

Condoms are highly effective if they are used properly.


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Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 4:26 pm

A condom might be okay

What is penetration actually like though?

Is it as pleasurable as everyone says it is?


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02 Mar 2024, 4:38 pm

It depends on the person, their partner, and the overall encounter. Overall, I think only ~50% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Other sexual activities are enjoyable too.


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Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 4:42 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It depends on the person, their partner, and the overall encounter. Overall, I think only ~50% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Other sexual activities are enjoyable too.


Like kissing and touching (foreplay) right?

I like to uh...masturbate and I can give myself orgasms


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02 Mar 2024, 4:46 pm

Yeah, that sort of stuff. If your partner isn’t interested in doing those sorts of things, you might want to wait until someone else comes along.


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Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 4:51 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Yeah, that sort of stuff. If your partner isn’t interested in doing those sorts of things, you might want to wait until someone else comes along.


Okay

Once I get serious with Jonathan or Jesse or whatever I will discuss foreplay

I have done it before with my ex Robbie so it's not truly new to me


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02 Mar 2024, 4:54 pm

That sounds good. There’s no rush. Once you get serious with someone, talking about sex before having it would be a good idea.


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Mikurotoro92
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02 Mar 2024, 5:05 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
That sounds good. There’s no rush. Once you get serious with someone, talking about sex before having it would be a good idea.


Once I DO start having sex we would probably do lots of foreplay in order to get aroused for the main event

Like pushing him against the wall and making out


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02 Mar 2024, 5:08 pm

Whatever floats your boat. If you don’t like something, you can tell him to stop and/or change what you’re doing. There’s nothing wrong with doing that whatsoever.


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