workplace neither safe nor secure

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Today, as usual, I purchased $2.50 oatmeal from the vending machine @ work, went to the litterbox (a couple feet away, for a couple minutes maximum), and then told the Head Cashier that I was on lunch. When I came back, Garden Associate named Play, said that she asked a couple times, whose oatmeal it was, and no answer. "Finders keepers, losers weepers", she had the nerve to scream. "It's mine." "Sorry," she said. Then she seamlessly went back to conversations with plenty of other employees. She told someone she was getting a McGriddle from McDonald's. (Only a couple employees are more popular than Play: cortez, asm don, steve).

The oatmeal was only a couple bucks, but i do not feel safe or secure @ work. Actually, part of it is that it *was* only a couple bucks. It appears that Play (and numerous other precious lil "people") care(s) about a lot of precious lil "people", but everyone they care about is just like themselves, and cares about them vice versa.

If *I* were to have asked a couple times "Whose McGriddle is it?", and then proceeded to eat it, I could not and do not want to imagine the consequences, s**t. (1) Get made redundant for Petty Larceny (2) Play and her numerous lil cronies would've barked @ me like wild dogs (3) and they would've punished me with buddha knows what. maybe they would've physically injured my worthless corpse. ("Logic could be used to justify anything.")

But, maybe Play is having sex with the boss and the cops. She gets away with so many things that I could not even dream of doing.

The other aspect: utilities, health insurance, grocery costs have been skyrocketing since Coronavirus. I only earn minimum wage. Maybe Play was so financially desparate as to justify eating someone else's oatmeal in the breakroom. On the other hand, she earns more $$ than me. It makes me out of my comfort zone, to wonder, how far away I am, from doing desparate things and taking extreme measures just to save a couple bucks.

Seriously regret not doing better @ school and not doing internships while I was in school. The Master's Library Information Systems program requires 3.0/4 GPA to apply to. Mine only 2.19. Teaching Credential requires 2.67 to apply. While there could've been plenty of great reasons why I flunked out of Structural Engineering (BA in Cognitive Science, not structural engineering), the 3.0 and 2.67 GPA quotas do not sound the slightest bit unreasonable, especially since they could be from any accredditted school and major.

Instead, my worthless corpse got a dead end job. Manual labor. Menial labor. Emotional labor. Retail. Home Depot Lot Attendant. Exhausted all the time. Minimum wage.

no future

no hope

zero "friends", s**t.

Sweet Pea hugs

A couple of weeks ago, Cashier Janice C. said that someone took her purse out of her locked locker in the lockerroom.

Last year, a supervisor said a customer's car got stolen out the parking lot.

Some pedestrians got hit by cars in the parking lot.

An article, a couple months ago, said that an ice cream vendor got held at gunpoint and lost $120. That was ten blocks from my workplace. I do not work in an office. I work in the middle of a parking lot. Anyone can come. ("nondiscriminatory") (rolls eyes).

day laborers and customers have the nerve to scream "Chino!" @ me.

home depot hires convicted felons. you don't have a "right" to know which ones they are or what they got convicted of.

it appears to me that plenty of employees have: felony convictions, psychiatric diagnoses, weapons, subconscious biases, short fuses, big egos, sex with the boss

constantly overpowered, outsmarted, outnumbered, s**t

workplace in the middle of a "Crime Corridor"

I am autistic, physically weak, mentally slow, usually alone, and et cetera. I am an endangered species and I have zero common sense. Exhausted all the time. Socially awkward and emotionally fragile. s**t.