Consequences of Undiagnosed early Autism

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Do you know anybody like this ..?
Poll runs till 03 Sep 2024, 1:42 pm
Could be ..? 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
it happened to me . 69%  69%  [ 9 ]
Never in my life. 8%  8%  [ 1 ]
Have first level immediate family like this. 8%  8%  [ 1 ]
Feed me ice cream . 15%  15%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 13

Jakki
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07 Mar 2024, 1:42 pm

This is a Documented reprint from another site : Thought it could be Poignant . (pm for website).
If you wish to offer opinions on this , Please feel free to comment ? :study:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, it’s not really mild, and that’s part of the problem. It looks like the child is ‘less autistic’ but what’s actually happening is that their autistic experience is less obvious to others, either because of the way it naturally manifests or because they quickly learn to hide it. A child who meets all their developmental milestones for things like talking and potty training but struggles with emotional regulation and sensory issues is less likely to be identified as autistic than one who also has more obvious developmental delays, for example.

The consequences of undiagnosed autism are that the child grows up thinking there’s something wrong with them. People tell them to stop throwing tantrums, stop being unreasonable, just go and play with the others, but they can’t. It isn’t that simple for them. They are consistently rejected by their peers and told by adults that doing their best will never be enough, because their inability to make friends, or do their homework, or eat different foods, is interpreted as deliberate disobedience rather than what it really is.

So by the time that child reaches adulthood, they don’t like who they are as a person any more. They believe that they are the awful person they’ve been made out to be by others. Their relationships fail, their jobs fail, sometimes they even take their own lives. All because people couldn’t see (or didn’t want to see) that they’ve genuinely been struggling this entire time and didn’t give them the help they needed to succeed.


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Edna3362
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07 Mar 2024, 2:52 pm

Mine is not mild enough to be noticed by adults at age 5. But can pass through mainstream academics without any accomodations. I was not labeled slow.

The time of my diagnosis is impeded by financial issues, ignorance and unavailability overall.
It took the city's SPED pioneer's (the first ever in my city, maybe even region) connection to a diagnostician and already years long of my dad having to work abroad; the diagnosis itself is still is the most expensive thing I ever owned.

Those amount of time is also the length of time of my parents ignorance -- meaning ranging from negligent to borderline abuse during my formative years for insisting that I'm this off-NT out of sheer ignorance.

This also mean no empathy given for me at those time span. Because they assumed that, yeah, I got all the milestones, not being held back academically or something like that.

And complaining is wrong, judging is wrong.
Not because I'm different, but because that's the norm.
They'd cost money, someone's time and energy or whatever, even relationships.

To a point that being ignored is better; I didn't mask socially, but I certainly developed hyperindependence and a lot of mistrust.
This meant ignoring my sensory issues. Wanting to ignore 'neediness'. Seeing neediness as a hindrance than something 'normal'. I could be sick for all I know and not care.

I already do not want anything to do with being a human by the time I'm already 6. It only got worse when approaching puberty.
I'm not depressed, but more like very irritated with the fact that I cannot control my own emotions.

I spent most of my life feeling this way.
Age and other bodily changes just adds the complexity and the unknowns.

While I was never told to not amount to anything -- heck, I received the opposite; I get praises and rep that can be compared of that of a gifted child.

While not overachieving, people do notice that I'm holding back, never taking it all seriously; which is true. I was neither encouraged nor discouraged.
No one told me that I'm not living up to my potential either nor that I should; so I believe that I have a choice.

It is clear that I do not desire friendship.
I desire, instead, is this form of social flexibility and control; being able to be in whenever and however I want and being out and getting away with it or better than that; stand out in a good way.

I was able to do that in childhood to some extent. Because it was easier then.
To me friendships are more like side effects, and I believed that I have a choice to pursue that, mostly to honor the other party.


Sure, there we're attitudinal changes in my teenage years when I officially got diagnosed.
Yet those changes did not undo the screw up that my parents did.

How am I going to have all that? In adulthood?
When I'm still dealing with the same problems related to regulating emotions?
As I grow older, I couldn't ignore my body anymore. I can still afford to go about my day related to external stimuli without an issue; who knows when that will end?

While I'm blessed enough to overcome anxiety; to a point that I may even look forward to it...
How about the rest of me?

While I dodged, overcame or even bypass some issues, those issues and the issues that I'm still dealing with are all coming from my past.

I truly believe that I have a choice. To be who I want to be, and even choose to accept whatever life I may end up with.

I can be happy, right now, from where I'm now, really.
It doesn't matter if I'm high achieving dependable career woman or some homebound unemployed who relies on handouts.

But why can't that be true?
There's this deep part of me that just refuses to accept, be happy and be content. I just don't know what it is.
Could be physical, could be mental. Possible it's both.

And it felt like those crap from my past, my upbringings and the crap I had to ignore or deny than whatever reality I would want to choose for myself.


Since I'm not 30 yet...
I'll be patient. Or try to anyway, whenever I couldn't do anything about it.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 07 Mar 2024, 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Comet Zed
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07 Mar 2024, 3:00 pm

Sadly very relatable.


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Jakki
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07 Mar 2024, 3:02 pm

Was hoping like minded individuals could recognize this post : Am sorry you have had to/ are going through this type of stuff . Would not have wished this stuff on anyone anywhere ! :nerdy:


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Edna3362
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07 Mar 2024, 3:12 pm

Jakki wrote:
Was hoping like minded individuals could recognize this post : Am sorry you have had to/ are going through this type of stuff . Would not have wished this stuff on anyone anywhere ! :nerdy:

I don't mind.
I practically rant the same stuff over and over by now. :lol:

Only the first parts I can relate; the entire first paragraph and partially the second until the rejection bits.

So at most, I only relate half of the whole post. :lol: Which is more than most long posts. The rest of it doesn't relate nor reflect my reality.

Therefore I just tell the consequences of not being diagnosed earlier.

Mine is not really masking and being told to get in line -- I'm too unstable and too apathetic as a child to perform that, as much as I wish I could've had the choice and control at a much younger age -- but the issue is something else entirely, not driven by fear or pressure from other people, not even the 'social basics of belonging' that most people have.

... But something not even my own parents, even the whole city, had control over at that time.
The helplessness and cluelessness of those around me during my formative years itself have more consequences over me to be honest.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 07 Mar 2024, 3:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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07 Mar 2024, 3:16 pm

Would have avoided burnouts had I known before.


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07 Mar 2024, 9:34 pm

Wew this hurt a little to read


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07 Mar 2024, 9:47 pm

In what way?


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07 Mar 2024, 9:49 pm

Jakki wrote:
. . . what’s actually happening is that their autistic experience is less obvious to others, either because of the way it naturally manifests or because they quickly learn to hide it. A child who meets all their developmental milestones for things like talking and potty training but struggles with emotional regulation and sensory issues is less likely to be identified as autistic than one who also has more obvious developmental delays, for example.

The consequences of undiagnosed autism are that the child grows up thinking there’s something wrong with them. People tell them to stop throwing tantrums, stop being unreasonable, just go and play with the others, but they can’t.  It isn’t that simple for them.  They are consistently rejected by their peers and told by adults that doing their best will never be enough, because their inability to make friends, or do their homework, or eat different foods, is interpreted as deliberate disobedience rather than what it really is.

So by the time that child reaches adulthood, they don’t like who they are as a person any more. They believe that they are the awful person they’ve been made out to be by others. Their relationships fail, their jobs fail, sometimes they even take their own lives. All because people couldn't see (or didn't want to see) that they’ve genuinely been struggling this entire time and didn’t give them the help they needed to succeed.


Awright, who's been hacking my diary?

Seriously though, I have underscored the points that apply to my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood.  Until I set out on my own with the determination to prove my detractors wrong, this was the story of my life.  It took a while, but I learned to mask and act in the same ways that 'normies' instinctively know since birth.

Current estimates put me in with a single-digit percentage of people with autism who overcame their obstacles to live a productive adult life -- university, marriage, children, et cetera.  I even served in the military and earned an honorable discharge.

Yeah, it hurt to read.  Probably hurts more for those who still struggle under the burden of ASD.  I still struggle, but no meltdowns in a long, long time.


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honeytoast
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07 Mar 2024, 9:49 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
In what way?

The last paragraph resonated with me. I was diagnosed a little over four years ago and finally got an answer as to why I acted the way I did. There was and is nothing "wrong" with me. A name exists for what is a part of me, and I can (and have) addressed some of my core issues.


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Mountain Goat
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07 Mar 2024, 10:15 pm

honeytoast wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
In what way?

The last paragraph resonated with me. I was diagnosed a little over four years ago and finally got an answer as to why I acted the way I did. There was and is nothing "wrong" with me. A name exists for what is a part of me, and I can (and have) addressed some of my core issues.


I think I have had that same senario for decades! :D

Feels like not being one thing or the other so missing out on everything!


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07 Mar 2024, 10:53 pm

Jakki wrote:
Well, it’s not really mild, and that’s part of the problem. It looks like the child is ‘less autistic’ but what’s actually happening is that their autistic experience is less obvious to others, either because of the way it naturally manifests orbecause they quickly learn to hide it. A child who meets all their developmental milestones for things like talking and potty training but struggles with emotional regulation and sensory issues is less likely to be identified as autistic than one who also has more obvious developmental delays, for example.

The consequences of undiagnosed autism are that the child grows up thinking there’s something wrong with them. People tell them to stop throwing tantrums, stop being unreasonable, just go and play with the others, but they can’t. It isn’t that simple for them. They are consistently rejected by their peers and told by adults that doing their best will never be enough, because their inability to make friends, or do their homework, or eat different foods, is interpreted as deliberate disobedience rather than what it really is.

So by the time that child reaches adulthood, they don’t like who they are as a person any more. They believe that they are the awful person they’ve been made out to be by others. Their relationships fail, their jobs fail, sometimes they even take their own lives. All because people couldn’t see (or didn’t want to see) that they’ve genuinely been struggling this entire time and didn’t give them the help they needed to succeed.


There's mine. :lol:


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Jakki
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08 Mar 2024, 2:30 pm

Sighes..... :( ....prolly would have been nice , if this quoted bit of Info , from behind the paywall site , It came from coulda been wrong ... but seems most of the article , seems "spot on" for a great deal of at least early Aspies . :roll:


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08 Mar 2024, 2:38 pm

diagnosed at age 68 after lifelong trauma and struggles, what a relief!


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08 Mar 2024, 4:44 pm

Jakki wrote:
Was hoping like minded individuals could recognize this post : Am sorry you have had to/ are going through this type of stuff . Would not have wished this stuff on anyone anywhere ! :nerdy:


For me at least having a diagnosis helps to understand why I have always had and will continue to have issues. And you get the life you get, we just have to make the most of it. There are plenty of others worse off than me. I'm lucky enough to have the cognitive ability to wrap my head around things if I try hard and long enough; remembering that Autism is a developmental condition and that our brains are able to keep changing even as we age helps me to keep learning and growing and trying. I don't accept my limitations as permanent whether they are or not, and I will keep striving to do and be better. F#ck you world, I'll kick you in the nuts before you take me down. :ninja:


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