Consequences of Undiagnosed early Autism

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This is a Documented reprint from another site : Thought it could be Poignant . (pm for website).
If you wish to offer opinions on this , Please feel free to comment ?
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Well, it’s not really mild, and that’s part of the problem. It looks like the child is ‘less autistic’ but what’s actually happening is that their autistic experience is less obvious to others, either because of the way it naturally manifests or because they quickly learn to hide it. A child who meets all their developmental milestones for things like talking and potty training but struggles with emotional regulation and sensory issues is less likely to be identified as autistic than one who also has more obvious developmental delays, for example.

The consequences of undiagnosed autism are that the child grows up thinking there’s something wrong with them. People tell them to stop throwing tantrums, stop being unreasonable, just go and play with the others, but they can’t. It isn’t that simple for them. They are consistently rejected by their peers and told by adults that doing their best will never be enough, because their inability to make friends, or do their homework, or eat different foods, is interpreted as deliberate disobedience rather than what it really is.

So by the time that child reaches adulthood, they don’t like who they are as a person any more. They believe that they are the awful person they’ve been made out to be by others. Their relationships fail, their jobs fail, sometimes they even take their own lives. All because people couldn’t see (or didn’t want to see) that they’ve genuinely been struggling this entire time and didn’t give them the help they needed to succeed.

Mine is not mild enough to be noticed by adults at age 5. But can pass through mainstream academics without any accomodations. I was not labeled slow.

The time of my diagnosis is impeded by financial issues, ignorance and unavailability overall.
It took the city's SPED pioneer's (the first ever in my city, maybe even region) connection to a diagnostician and already years long of my dad having to work abroad; the diagnosis itself is still is the most expensive thing I ever owned.

Those amount of time is also the length of time of my parents ignorance -- meaning ranging from negligent to borderline abuse during my formative years for insisting that I'm this off-NT out of sheer ignorance.

This also mean no empathy given for me at those time span. Because they assumed that, yeah, I got all the milestones, not being held back academically or something like that.

And complaining is wrong, judging is wrong.
Not because I'm different, but because that's the norm.
They'd cost money, someone's time and energy or whatever, even relationships.

To a point that being ignored is better; I didn't mask socially, but I certainly developed hyperindependence and a lot of mistrust.
This meant ignoring my sensory issues. Wanting to ignore 'neediness'. Seeing neediness as a hindrance than something 'normal'. I could be sick for all I know and not care.

I already do not want anything to do with being a human by the time I'm already 6. It only got worse when approaching puberty.
I'm not depressed, but more like very irritated with the fact that I cannot control my own emotions.

I spent most of my life feeling this way.
Age and other bodily changes just adds the complexity and the unknowns.

While I was never told to not amount to anything -- heck, I received the opposite; I get praises and rep that can be compared of that of a gifted child.

While not overachieving, people do notice that I'm holding back, never taking it all seriously; which is true. I was neither encouraged nor discouraged.
No one told me that I'm not living up to my potential either nor that I should; so I believe that I have a choice.

It is clear that I do not desire friendship.
I desire, instead, is this form of social flexibility and control; being able to be in whenever and however I want and being out and getting away with it or better than that; stand out in a good way.

I was able to do that in childhood to some extent. Because it was easier then.
To me friendships are more like side effects, and I believed that I have a choice to pursue that, mostly to honor the other party.


Sure, there we're attitudinal changes in my teenage years when I officially got diagnosed.
Yet those changes did not undo the screw up that my parents did.

How am I going to have all that? In adulthood?
When I'm still dealing with the same problems related to regulating emotions?
As I grow older, I couldn't ignore my body anymore. I can still afford to go about my day related to external stimuli without an issue; who knows when that will end?

While I'm blessed enough to overcome anxiety; to a point that I may even look forward to it...
How about the rest of me?

While I dodged, overcame or even bypass some issues, those issues and the issues that I'm still dealing with are all coming from my past.

I truly believe that I have a choice. To be who I want to be, and even choose to accept whatever life I may end up with.

I can be happy, right now, from where I'm now, really.
It doesn't matter if I'm high achieving dependable career woman or some homebound unemployed who relies on handouts.

But why can't that be true?
There's this deep part of me that just refuses to accept, be happy and be content. I just don't know what it is.
Could be physical, could be mental. Possible it's both.

And it felt like those crap from my past, my upbringings and the crap I had to ignore or deny than whatever reality I would want to choose for myself.


Since I'm not 30 yet...
I'll be patient. Or try to anyway, whenever I couldn't do anything about it.

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Sadly very relatable.

Was hoping like minded individuals could recognize this post : Am sorry you have had to/ are going through this type of stuff . Would not have wished this stuff on anyone anywhere !

Would have avoided burnouts had I known before.

Wew this hurt a little to read

In what way?

Sighes..... ....prolly would have been nice , if this quoted bit of Info , from behind the paywall site , It came from coulda been wrong ... but seems most of the article , seems "spot on" for a great deal of at least early Aspies .

diagnosed at age 68 after lifelong trauma and struggles, what a relief!