Autistic people and marriage

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Do autistic people have an especially hard time understanding what a marriage would be like and do they desire marriages less than neurotypicals?

No idea. Personally it never appealed to me. I always thought of it as an elastic band around two magnets - pointless until they start repelling.

I don't care for weddings really and i certainly don't want to be at the centre of one.

I remember seeing an elderly couple on TV when i was a kid and people saying how amazing it was that they'd been married for 60 years and all I could think was how much more amazing it would be if they'd stayed together for 60 years without being married.

It didn't appeal to me, but after two kids and going to buy a house we did, no party or ceremony though, that would indefinately have put me off, just our family of four, then it turned out we forgot the witnesses
Lucky sis-in-law worked somewhere in townhall and her bf too, ppppfff!! !
family was a bit pissed off for not having the day off

I don't want to get married. After a few hours around people I've burnt myself out and want to retreat to my bedroom. The thought of being legally chained to someone would give me cold sweats.

I read somewhere that autistic people are less likely to get married.

I am Autistic and I desire to get married!

In fact that is my main goal

It is just taking a while to find someone suitable but I'm getting there!! !

I majorly wanted to be married when I was single & also when my relationships were doing long distance. I HATED being alone & I take my romantic relationships very seriously. I liked the idea of being married because I thought we would both be more committed to making our relationship last. However me & my current girlfriend have been living together unmarried for over 11 years now. We woulda got married shortly after we moved in together but we're both disabled & marriage would screw-up her various benefits. Luckily Cass is like me & takes relationships very seriously. It feels like we've been married for a long time now but I still say Girlfriend because saying that word has become a habbit. Cass would prefer to be married for symbolic reasons. If we came into a lot of money somehow I'd have nothing against being married but I would not be in a rush to either. I would prefer not to deal with a ceremony though which is a major reason why Cass would like to be married but I still would do it. I majorly struggled to get dates & girlfriends but I have various disabilities besides autism. After me & my first girlfriend broke up, I was single for 8 years straight without so much as a single date despite my best efforts

I do not represent the average Aspie because my personality within a relationship is kina opposite of the sterotypical Aspie. I'm climgy, affectionate, & love spending lots of time with my partner. However I'm the opposite way with everyone else.

Why would they/we have a harder time understanding marriage?

EtA: Still married over twenty years.

Last edited by Blue_Star on 10 Mar 2024, 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It would be interesting to see research on autistics’ views of marriage. While not being entirely opposed to it, I never really wanted to get married because it seemed like a weird custom to me, especially the legal aspects of it, but I was pushed into it by my family. My sister-in-law who is also autistic cannot conceive of NOT getting married. She’s a very black and white thinker. In other words, I suspect that views would run the gamut with, perhaps, more people being at one extreme or the other than is typical.

I’m married. I am diagnosed Autistic. I wanted to be married but had to put some work into the whole dating thing to get it right.

~It's a spectrum~

probably depends on the individual.

What is marriage?

Depends on the individual.

For me, not at all as I have spent a life watching and observing others. Also for me, and I know a fair number on this site, we drream of such times!

I think it’s something to do with biohazardous waste. I’m not a scientist though.

I don't want to be chained and bound to anyone. I like my freedom and not willing to change for anyone. I also hear many horror stories about abusive relationships and marriages that end in messy divorces.

Considering the high rate of divorce, I think people in general tend to have a hard time understanding what a marriage would be like & it may be even harder to understand what being married would be like if one partner is an Aspie & the other is an NT.