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Yugoslav1945
Velociraptor
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Location: Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia

15 Mar 2024, 12:12 am

The only people who would understand me are from the Internet and not in my town? The people who are my close friends are thousands of kilometers away? Am I condemned to living a life of only having online friends rather than real friends?

Is this the new future of mine? I graduate from high school, get into a faculty, and then work a job but end up having no family of my own because the only friends who understand me are those who live great distances away. Why should I accept this complete loneliness? Even if I would do something that makes me known, no one would at least try to understand me?

It has been a month since the grievous split and loss. It took me greatly because it was someone that used to understand me but now hates me because of my views conflicting with theirs. It's pretty much obvious that I will never be able to get a close friend after this. I feel good that I no longer have to worry about the friend I lost. I just worry that I will never get a second chance with a different person. :cry:


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"In a socialist society such phenomena must and will disappear. In the old Yugoslavia national oppression by the great-Serb capitalist clique meant strengthening the economic exploitation of the oppressed peoples. This is the inevitable fate of all who suffer from national oppression."

- Josip Broz Tito (Ljubljana, 1948)


goldfish21
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15 Mar 2024, 2:32 am

We tend to do that.. convince ourselves that after something goes wrong that we’ll Never have anything go right, or another chance, or a different opportunity, or achieve something etc.

Good thing is those thoughts are almost never correct and we will move on and meet people and do things and have successes and achieve things we put our minds too etc and so forth.

It just seems like things won’t ever change for the better Now because it’s such a fresh memory of losing your friend over differences. But time heals all. You’ll meet more people and make friends. You might always find more ASD people online, but you’ll meet real life people and friends, too.


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AnanstrixG
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15 Mar 2024, 5:00 am

The greatest stressor for me is change. It doesn't matter if the change benefits me or not. The fact is, no matter how good or bad things were, I was used to them. And now it is not like that.

Making friends is always difficult for me too. I'm 56 and my only friend is my wife (and I claim no skill or social ability - it was pure luck we found each other). So while I don't have any advice on that end ...

for me, no matter how big the change, the new situation becomes normal again. It just takes time (and hopefully not too many melt downs haha).

It is good that, for the very least, you do have the internet and can meet some people here. When I was your age, there was not, and it would have possibly made things easier.


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goldfish21
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15 Mar 2024, 3:36 pm

If it’s any consolation there are very socially adept very successful business people that do not have any friends At All, either. I used to work for one. They’re always seeing people coming and going for meetings and dinners and drinks etc or rounds of golf, but they don’t have Any friends, Only business associates. Every moment is geared towards making the next deal and earning more money. Then as they become wealthier and wealthier they’re even more private and very guarded about who they let into their lives - no time or interest in friends; only the next batch of revenue & profit. Surrounded by people but living a very lonely life.


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bee33
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16 Mar 2024, 6:47 am

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I have felt that way myself. I haven't completely lost (I don't think) a very old and dear friend but things between us are very different and it feels like an enormous loss. I thought my life would never be okay again, and to some extent I still feel that. But I have recently met someone and he is a new boyfriend, which I would never have expected and was sure it would never happen. So I think Goldfish is right: things seem so terrible that they can never get better, but then they do, sometimes, at least to some degree.