Men always asking you for sex

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If your boyfriend or guy friend was always asking you to have sex, would you think that is all they are after?

I would because it tells me that is all they want and that is why they are always with me because they want sex and they are hoping they get it. They don't want me as a person or because they enjoy being with me, they just want to have sex.

Some people are more obsessed with sex than others. And, there is no-one more carnal than a recent virgin.

I really wouldn't know, actually, my boyfriend doesn't want sex at all and instead he'd rather cuddle. We do however make naughty jokes, but it's always for a few good laughs.

If you are being asked repeatedly for sex then yes that is all they are after. For many guys the only reason they spend time with women is in hopes of getting laid. If he is a virgin that is even more indication what he is after because men become desperate to get rid of their virginity.

Not necessarily the only thing they're after, but certainly that there's an issue which could be that. Sex drives vary - some people, if they're not getting regular sex, it can start to really dominate their thoughts, some people (both men and women) simply need sex every day to be able to function without those thoughts dominating them, and if your own sex drive doesn't match theirs, then they either need to learn to do without, you need to make yourself available more often, or go your separate ways. It really can be a deal-breaker for some people, others can work things out. I'd just ask precisely what it is they want, how often they feel they *need* sex, and come to an agreement about when it is or isn't appropriate for them to hassle you about it. If you know what they expect from you physically, it's easier to figure out precisely where the line between them being reasonable and unreasonable lies.
Sex is, for better or worse, a fundamental part of a romantic relationship for most people, and yet something they mostly don't talk about. Just being open about your concerns can often fix that. Of course, they could just be trying to use you, too, but that's a judgement that I think you have to make based upon how they interact with you in situations where sex isn't, and cannot be, on the cards. Are they interested in you as a person and interested in spending time with you, in doing other things with you, when sex is definitively unavailable?

edit Whoops! I got to this post from the front page, didn't realise it was on the women's forum, I'm male and can delete this comment if y'all would prefer?

In other words Maestro as a guy is telling you as a woman your sole reason for being is to "service" men. Women are nothing more than receptacles for men. If someone is pressuring you repeatedly for sex then that's a good clue you have no value to them as a human being.

No, not at all. What I'm saying is that it's important that individuals have a compatible sex drive, or if they don't have a good compromise worked out. If one person in a relationship has a high sex drive, and the other a low sex drive, then the frustration from that can cause wider relationship problems, and this happens in women having a high sex drive and men having a lower sex drive, too (although yes, in less cases than the common stereotype). And compromise means just that - sometimes the one with the higher drive needs to accept he or she's not going to get any sexual contact and that he or she needs to shut the hell up already and deal. And sometimes the one with the lower drive needs to accept that if he or she doesn't do something for their partner, they'll be climbing up the walls with frustration, and even if they're not in the mood doing something that causes their partner pleasure would just be a nice thing to do for them. But the key is compromise - not blanket acquiescence - and communication.
None of which means that they aren't necessarily trying to use you, which is why as I said originally, it's important to see how they act around you when sex isn't and cannot be an option. Do they seem interested in you as a person? Do they enjoy your company? Do you enjoy theirs? Does the relationship feel like a well rounded relationship to you that just needs the difficulties around sex worked out, or does it feel like sex with a relationship cobbled together around it? One can be worked through, one cannot.

I'm hoping I've made myself clearer, here. If you're in a relationship where you're just being used, where it seems like your only purpose is to "service," a man, then you should get out of it. But the question was, if a man is hassling you for sex on a regular basis, is he just after you for your body? My answer is yes in some cases, and no in other cases.

my husbands asks for sex all the time, he is just a "horn dog"

I really hate the stereotyping of men as "all they want is sex". I've been in tons of relationships where I was the more sexually interested party. The original question is really incomplete. There are parts of the question or story that are left out.
Incompatible sex drives can be about many things.
*you have a low sex drive (making anyone else appear sex-crazed by comparison)
*you're in a power struggle -denying activities that the other wants, controlling when activities happen
*one or both of you don't express sexual interest so that the other is always confused and unsure when you're "ready"
*the other person has a high sex drive and sees you as always saying no
*men are conditioned just like women are, he might think "no" means "yes" and that it's his job to keep asking because you'll eventually say "yes"


I've been married over 10 years and find myself in a quandry where I'm seen as sexually aggressive. But if I don't ask, my husband thinks I'm not "into it" that night. He's just gotten used to being the "pursued". It gets tiring to be honest. I think that's why some people cheat because they tire of always chasing and not being chased. It makes you feel unattractive after a while.

I should add here that perfectly reasonable, kind, wonderful guys for some reason often turn into trolls about refusal of sex, quite without noticing. Sexual pressure often happens in a relationship without either person really knowing what's going on, and it can be a serious, serious problem.

If you feel guilty saying no, this is the worst red flag I know of. . . if this is the case, it's time to give the relationship a little room. Or a lot of room. Or a lot of room.

I wouldnt say that is all they think about, but when they arent getting enough of it, it is usually what they think about. For some guys, sex is a physical requirement or need much like food and breathing. It doesnt mean that is all they want. If they stick around and enjoy your company, then a little sex is a very nice addition. Many of them want their partners to desire it too. Practice makes perfect, in that case.

I have previously been in relationships with women who would want sex all the time, I have a high sex-drive myself, but just felt I was being used a lot of the time, so did not really want sex.
Now I have a boyfriend and he is happy to just cuddle- he definatly doesn't hasstle me about having sex.

It really depends on the individual. People often feel uncomfortable discussing much about sex, even when in a relationship. I don't go along with this "no" means "yes" idea. It's a stupid game to play. It's better to assume that "no" means "no" and leave it at that.

my husband has a high sex drive and would be perfectly happy having sex every day. (insert rolling of eyes)

I have a hard time separating sex from the person or in other words, If my husband wants to have sex with me or we are having sex, I don't tend to see the same person that I do when we are sitting together with the girls or when we are doing something together that we both like.
(That could be just me though. I'm not sure if it is an asperger thing.)

It is possible but you just have to make sure that the person is not with you just for the sex. I guess it is a matter of building up your trust for them.

sorry, I wish I could give better advice.