Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Reasons women do not date us!

Page 3 of 57 [ 901 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 57  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:10 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
My youger brother said to me in school in regards to my lack of a girlfriend “We could get you some deformed girl”

That was an awful thing to say, but kids can be cruel sometimes.



Maybe he’s right the last girl who wanted to date me in 2017 had dwarfism. When I see her out at the pub these days she ignores me for some reason.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,785
Location: Hell

29 Mar 2024, 2:12 pm

Even people with disabilities have specific things they want in a partner, like compatibility, and won’t date anyone who asks them.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:16 pm

Don’t understand why the woman affected with dwarfism does not speak to me anymore. Granted one of her female friends despised me.



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,574
Location: Right over your left shoulder

29 Mar 2024, 2:23 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Maybe he’s right the last girl who wanted to date me in 2017 had dwarfism.


I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even see that as a negative. :heart:


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:25 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Maybe he’s right the last girl who wanted to date me in 2017 had dwarfism.


I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even see that as a negative. :heart:



Well I blew with her as well because I was not physically attracted to the woman.

Not being nasty just saying how I felt



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,574
Location: Right over your left shoulder

29 Mar 2024, 2:28 pm

Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Maybe he’s right the last girl who wanted to date me in 2017 had dwarfism.


I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even see that as a negative. :heart:



Well I blew with her as well because I was not physically attracted to the woman.

Not being nasty just saying how I felt


You're entitled to have standards just like everyone else. Different people like different things.

But if it got back to her that might explain why she's not so friendly anymore.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Maybe he’s right the last girl who wanted to date me in 2017 had dwarfism.


I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even see that as a negative. :heart:



Well I blew with her as well because I was not physically attracted to the woman.

Not being nasty just saying how I felt


You're entitled to have standards just like everyone else. Different people like different things.

But if it got back to her that might explain why she's not so friendly anymore.




Well it’s not like I told anyone I found her unattractive



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,574
Location: Right over your left shoulder

29 Mar 2024, 2:32 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Well it’s not like I told anyone I found her unattractive


That's good.

She still might be butthurt and feeling rejected, but it doesn't sound like you've done anything specifically wrong. Sometimes people don't handle rejection well.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:37 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Well it’s not like I told anyone I found her unattractive


That's good.

She still might be butthurt and feeling rejected, but it doesn't sound like you've done anything specifically wrong. Sometimes people don't handle rejection well.



I have been to autism meet up groups before and some women have been cold and distant towards me even not wanting to sit next to me.

Even my own mother said once “Women don’t like the look of you” :(



blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,441
Location: United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:37 pm

Given that social skills are required to initiate relations with women (or men from a woman's perspective), and that in western culture at least, it is generally the guy who pursues the women in any dating scenario, it is no surprise that autistic men have little dating success with women.

Unless you are lucky and have women asking you out which can and does happen less commonly.... then you might be stuck in a barren desert in terms of dating for a while.

I wouldn't take it personally. It happens in differing levels of severity to most autistic dudes I am sure, and to some autistic women as well.



Last edited by blitzkrieg on 29 Mar 2024, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:40 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Given that social skills are required to initiate relations with women (or men from a woman's perspective), and that in western culture at least, it is generally the guy who pursues the women in any dating scenario, it is no surprise that autistic men have little dating success with women.

Unless you are lucky and have women asking you out which can and does happen less commonly.... then you might be stuck in a barren desert in terms of dating for a while.

I wouldn't take it personally. It happens in differing levels of severity to most autistic dudes and I am sure, and to some autistic women as well.



That’s unfair that men are expected to pursue women thought isn’t it?



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,785
Location: Hell

29 Mar 2024, 2:41 pm

It also requires social skills for the woman to interact with the man if he initiates the interaction. Dating seems to be challenging for all genders on the spectrum.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,785
Location: Hell

29 Mar 2024, 2:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Given that social skills are required to initiate relations with women (or men from a woman's perspective), and that in western culture at least, it is generally the guy who pursues the women in any dating scenario, it is no surprise that autistic men have little dating success with women.

Unless you are lucky and have women asking you out which can and does happen less commonly.... then you might be stuck in a barren desert in terms of dating for a while.

I wouldn't take it personally. It happens in differing levels of severity to most autistic dudes and I am sure, and to some autistic women as well.



That’s unfair that men are expected to pursue women thought isn’t it?

Sometimes women initiate too. It seems to be more common than it used to be.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,574
Location: Right over your left shoulder

29 Mar 2024, 2:42 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It also requires social skills for the woman to interact with the man if he initiates the interaction. Dating seems to be challenging for all genders on the spectrum.


Exactly.

Even if an interested person drops into your metaphorical lap, you still need to successfully navigate the interactions that follow.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

29 Mar 2024, 2:45 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
It also requires social skills for the woman to interact with the man if he initiates the interaction. Dating seems to be challenging for all genders on the spectrum.


Exactly.

Even if an interested person drops into your metaphorical lap, you still need to successfully navigate the interactions that follow.



I had my first kiss in school when I was 11 but strangely never lost my virginity.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,785
Location: Hell

29 Mar 2024, 2:54 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
It also requires social skills for the woman to interact with the man if he initiates the interaction. Dating seems to be challenging for all genders on the spectrum.


Exactly.

Even if an interested person drops into your metaphorical lap, you still need to successfully navigate the interactions that follow.

I think friendships with women can come in handy to see the stuff we struggle with. In the past, some on here have resented women for the 10 seconds it takes to approach them when that’s only a small part of the initial interaction.

I found being approached by people I didn’t know when I was younger very stressful, so the difficulties can work both ways even with that. Obviously, engaging in a dialogue with someone requires social skills. You don’t want to seem too standoffish or too needy or weird to the point that it makes them uncomfortable although, at this point, I care more about being myself.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess