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Reasons women do not date us!

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cyberdad
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29 Mar 2024, 5:14 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think this guy makes some fair points as to why women will not date us?
https://youtu.be/ypZ0FwXsKtM?si=mU6XZn6m2KZ_8ZmE


4 things
1. When you say "us" Jamesy, no two people on the spectrum are the same, In terms of dating every person has their strengths and weaknesses.
2. The 5 points this dude bought up are actually applicable to NTs too. Sure many people on the spectrum struggle with one or more of these, but so do NTs. The proof is right her on WP. There are literally hundreds of men and women who are in permanent relationships with NTs.
3. Focus on you....you are the one in the trenches. Worrying about what others are doing in dating is not going to improve your self-esteem and it will just make you more anxious.
4. Many of us have lower success rates with women than others. You actually sound like me when I was your age. You also have female friends. Broaden your horizons though, pubs/bars are not brilliants places to meet a life partner.



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29 Mar 2024, 8:03 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think this guy makes some fair points as to why women will not date us?
Yes. Everything he says is what many of us men in committed relationships with women have been saying for years.  What he says should be blazingly obvious to every adult male with at least half a brain.  There is no red/blue pill crapola, no MGTOW misogyny, and no incel narcissism involved -- just plain old common sense that has been communicated on this website since it was founded.

(NOTE: Yes, I watched the video; and it is one of the EXTREMELY small number of YouTube videos from which men can learn.)


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cyberdad
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29 Mar 2024, 9:01 pm

Also like Fnord and myself, just find a female partner who is of overseas origin. Men really limit themselves just wanting to date women from their local area. Big plus! women from non-English speaking background don't have hangups over your language skills.



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30 Mar 2024, 12:24 am

Life is what you make it. You can play the victim or else you could take all the steps you need to find yourself a partner.


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CockneyRebel
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30 Mar 2024, 12:29 am

Jamesy wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^ People are free to do whatever they like. We can’t control their reaction. We can only try to adjust our behavior/approach to ensure more success in the future.



There will not be any success in the future because no woman will approach me again.


That's quite an exaggeration. You need to do the things required to get a woman to notice you and you'll be approached by a whole bunch of women.


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30 Mar 2024, 12:36 am

Maybe you should stop treating women as if the only purpose they exist is to be slaves that take care of all your needs like man babies.



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30 Mar 2024, 1:33 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
Maybe you should stop treating women as if the only purpose they exist is to be slaves that take care of all your needs like man babies.
Women do not exist to be used for men's gratification.


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Fnord
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30 Mar 2024, 1:39 am

cyberdad wrote:
Also like Fnord and myself, just find a female partner who is of overseas origin...
While I did not specifically seek the love of a Filipina (and she did not specifically seek the love of a "Puti Kano"), it worked out for the both of us that the behaviors of our previous spouses impressed upon us a significant level of distrust for members of our own kind.


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cyberdad
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30 Mar 2024, 2:27 am

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Also like Fnord and myself, just find a female partner who is of overseas origin...
While I did not specifically seek the love of a Filipina (and she did not specifically seek the love of a "Puti Kano"), it worked out for the both of us that the behaviors of our previous spouses impressed upon us a significant level of distrust for members of our own kind.


Filipina-Australian matches are very common here. Judging by happy men they make good wives.



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30 Mar 2024, 9:02 am

Could you get one on prescription


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30 Mar 2024, 9:12 am

cyberdad wrote:
Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Also like Fnord and myself, just find a female partner who is of overseas origin...
While I did not specifically seek the love of a Filipina (and she did not specifically seek the love of a "Puti Kano"), it worked out for the both of us that the behaviors of our previous spouses impressed upon us a significant level of distrust for members of our own kind.


Filipina-Australian matches are very common here. Judging by happy men they make good wives.

Filipino women are unique individuals just like anyone else. Your sample size is too small to be certain of differences or to make generalizations about them.

No matter one’s gender, being open to dating people from different cultures you happen to cross paths with is good because it could increase a person’s chances of finding someone they connect with. Sometimes people see things through too narrow of a lens which can make them miss out. However, I don’t think that’s Jamesy’s problem based on this and other threads.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 30 Mar 2024, 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
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30 Mar 2024, 9:31 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
Maybe you should stop treating women as if the only purpose they exist is to be slaves that take care of all your needs like man babies.


Who has said anything to that end in this thread?

Maybe I missed that post....



cyberdad
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30 Mar 2024, 5:55 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
Filipino women are unique individuals just like anyone else. Your sample size is too small to be certain of differences or to make generalizations about them.

No matter one’s gender, being open to dating people from different cultures you happen to cross paths with is good because it could increase a person’s chances of finding someone they connect with. Sometimes people see things through too narrow of a lens which can make them miss out. However, I don’t think that’s Jamesy’s problem based on this and other threads.


All valid points. Yes, based on my small sample size of observations the men in relationships with asian wives in general appear to be happy.

Jamesy's dilemma in this thread (and most of his threads) is why women don't date him. One solution is for him is to broaden his preferences beyond English "lasses" he meets in the pub. I am not saying one option is > another. I am just saying he could try broadening his horizons and opening up new possibilities



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30 Mar 2024, 6:00 pm

Broadening (not lowering) his standards will also help. Be willing to compromise on the superficial things like height, weight, hair, and ethnicity.

And not all Asians are 'nice'.


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SailorsGuy12
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30 Mar 2024, 8:10 pm

cyberdad wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
Filipino women are unique individuals just like anyone else. Your sample size is too small to be certain of differences or to make generalizations about them.

No matter one’s gender, being open to dating people from different cultures you happen to cross paths with is good because it could increase a person’s chances of finding someone they connect with. Sometimes people see things through too narrow of a lens which can make them miss out. However, I don’t think that’s Jamesy’s problem based on this and other threads.


All valid points. Yes, based on my small sample size of observations the men in relationships with asian wives in general appear to be happy.

Jamesy's dilemma in this thread (and most of his threads) is why women don't date him. One solution is for him is to broaden his preferences beyond English "lasses" he meets in the pub. I am not saying one option is > another. I am just saying he could try broadening his horizons and opening up new possibilities


Aside, but I just find Germanic or Nordic-ish women (naturally blonde, pale skin) more attractive to me. Not that I won't date any other "look", but it's on my dating "bucket list" items. I admit that I care a lot about physical attractiveness, can't help it.

Also, when one's situation in dating is that they have to find women outside of their own country or culture-which can incur extra travel costs and even just traveling let alone living in a different country is a big commitment-I am not xenophobic like that, but it's like a black (fill in race or group) person being excluded from dating others of the same race even though he or she'd want to date the same race as them, or telling people they need to up and move just to get a better dating life.


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cyberdad
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30 Mar 2024, 10:10 pm

SailorsGuy12 wrote:
Aside, but I just find Germanic or Nordic-ish women (naturally blonde, pale skin) more attractive to me. Not that I won't date any other "look", but it's on my dating "bucket list" items. I admit that I care a lot about physical attractiveness, can't help it.

Also, when one's situation in dating is that they have to find women outside of their own country or culture-which can incur extra travel costs and even just traveling let alone living in a different country is a big commitment-I am not xenophobic like that, but it's like a black (fill in race or group) person being excluded from dating others of the same race even though he or she'd want to date the same race as them, or telling people they need to up and move just to get a better dating life.


I think 95% of people have a preference for people who look like them. So you are right. And I suspect Jamesy wants a nice English girl. Nothing wrong with that. In the end its a trade-off. Much of life is