31 Mar 2024, 2:12 pm
babybird wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
babybird wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
I suspect that women are more likely to talk openly about being uncomfortable and to recognize experiences with harassment as such than they were in the past. It doesn’t mean that things didn’t bother them in the past. They are just more likely to recognize it now. The #MeToo movement helped with that.
That's the thing though, a lot of what is not harassment is treated as such in the current day versus a few decades ago.
The mere act of opening up dialogue with a stranger of the opposite sex can be perceived as harassment in the current day.
Yeah people treat you like a creepy weirdo if you just smile at them these days.
Unfortunately, I have witnessed evidence of this trend, also.
Me too first hand. I think men get a bad rap sometimes. The scariest people I've encountered in pubs have been women.
You're a blessing BB.
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,578
Location: Right over your left shoulder
31 Mar 2024, 2:13 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:14 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
babybird wrote:
Yeah people treat you like a creepy weirdo if you just smile at them these days.
You're not in/near London, are you?
no I am actually from the north west. I think people who live north of the Watford Gap are said to be a lot more friendly to people from the south. Don't shoot me. I'm just the messenger
31 Mar 2024, 2:14 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
DuckHairback wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
It certainly seems to be, in part, a myth perpetuated by folks online - often folks who do harass women going by their own stories.
I'm sure you're right but i think it's also, and maybe more so, perpetuated by men online who are just scared, as men always have been, of being vulnerable around women. Its so much easier to give yourself the excuse of being wary about being accused of harassment than it is to face your fears and talk to women.
The difference is that the Internet gives men a space to voice this crap and tell each other they're right and they don't have to do anything, they can just wallow in the righteous victimhood of being a man.
I think it's deeply unhealthy.
It seems to be a bit of a circle jerk where guys want to one-up each other with stories of how women just can't be approached, without ever having to consider what portion of the stories are true at all and also what portion are told with important details missing because the guy wants to be accepted rather than called out.
Sometimes crucial details gradually reveal themselves though.
31 Mar 2024, 2:42 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:45 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:54 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,578
Location: Right over your left shoulder
31 Mar 2024, 2:55 pm
babybird wrote:
An extreme case but when I was about 16 or maybe even younger. I went out with a group of men (a lot older than me) because I knew that I would get a free night out. I'd get a meal and drinks and drugs and whatever. I also knew that they wanted sex with me. I still went along even though I didn't want the sex part but I wanted the rest but I didn't tell them that I didn't want the sex part because if I did I knew I wouldn't get a good night out.
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
Imagine, guys acting like creeps and being worried they might get in trouble for it.
31 Mar 2024, 2:55 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:55 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:58 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:58 pm
31 Mar 2024, 2:58 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
babybird wrote:
An extreme case but when I was about 16 or maybe even younger. I went out with a group of men (a lot older than me) because I knew that I would get a free night out. I'd get a meal and drinks and drugs and whatever. I also knew that they wanted sex with me. I still went along even though I didn't want the sex part but I wanted the rest but I didn't tell them that I didn't want the sex part because if I did I knew I wouldn't get a good night out.
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
Imagine, guys acting like creeps and being worried they might get in trouble for it.
Yeah but what I'm saying is that I was fully aware what they were doing and I was aware of my plan. I think sometimes women are treated like they're stupid and I think that some women like to play up to this and when it all goes tit's up for them it's too easy to blame it on the guy.
It's 50/50 in my experience
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,578
Location: Right over your left shoulder
31 Mar 2024, 3:00 pm
babybird wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
babybird wrote:
An extreme case but when I was about 16 or maybe even younger. I went out with a group of men (a lot older than me) because I knew that I would get a free night out. I'd get a meal and drinks and drugs and whatever. I also knew that they wanted sex with me. I still went along even though I didn't want the sex part but I wanted the rest but I didn't tell them that I didn't want the sex part because if I did I knew I wouldn't get a good night out.
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
Imagine, guys acting like creeps and being worried they might get in trouble for it.
Yeah but what I'm saying is that I was fully aware what they were doing and I was aware of my plan. I think sometimes women are treated like they're stupid and I think that some women like to play up to this and when it all goes tit's up for them it's too easy to blame it on the guy.
It's 50/50 in my experience
No, if you were SA'd that night that would 100% be on them, not 50/50 on you too.
It's not a matter of thinking you didn't understand what you were getting into, it's that there's never a good excuse that negates responsibility for forcing others into non-consensual sex acts.
31 Mar 2024, 3:02 pm
babybird wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
babybird wrote:
An extreme case but when I was about 16 or maybe even younger. I went out with a group of men (a lot older than me) because I knew that I would get a free night out. I'd get a meal and drinks and drugs and whatever. I also knew that they wanted sex with me. I still went along even though I didn't want the sex part but I wanted the rest but I didn't tell them that I didn't want the sex part because if I did I knew I wouldn't get a good night out.
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
So during the meal one of them gave me a load of drugs and sent me into the bogs to take them and to make a spliff.
I did go to the bathroom but then I u turned and made a very hasty exit out of the door (with a pocket full of goodies) while all these men were laughing and joking and having a good time.
Now, if I hadn't done that and this group of men had have had their way with me would I have had any rights to complain about that to anyone. I don't think I would have because I went into this situation knowing what I was getting into and really giving consent to that just so that I could get what I wanted.
But I'm thinking that some women might have tried to get them into trouble and I think that that is where men are terrified of women and so that maybe where the interaction between men and women in these types of social setting is sadly dwindling. I've seen women leading men on to get what they want and then behaving like victims when the man hasn't understood he's being taken for a ride.
Just my experience there
Imagine, guys acting like creeps and being worried they might get in trouble for it.
Yeah but what I'm saying is that I was fully aware what they were doing and I was aware of my plan. I think sometimes women are treated like they're stupid and I think that some women like to play up to this and when it all goes tit's up for them it's too easy to blame it on the guy.
It's 50/50 in my experience
In my experience, women do not normally want to get a guy in trouble for no reason, not that it doesn’t happen on rare occasions.
Especially if they were aware of your age, they would’ve deserved any punishment the law would’ve doled out.
The “boys will be boys” notion is far too prevalent in our society, and it’s harmful to women AND men.
31 Mar 2024, 3:12 pm
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